"They say the man is made of steel, impervious to any honeypot. Yes we've tried men too, it's not that."
Bond: "Why's that woman looking at me? Am I being conspicuous? I better pretend I didn't notice and walk away."
"Don't touch that! It's my lunch!"
"Oh my god, sorry! It's just it was there with all the exploding stuff so I just assumed and now I'm mortified. Can I buy you a sandwich"
Ay that's me in grade 12 finally realizing that certain people liked me and then finding out they kinda resented me for not realizing it in time and turned me down lmfao. Deserved I guess.
Standing on the shore looking to an oil rig, exploding on the horizon.
"Another victory for King and --- son of bitch... Ah... Damn it Jim you have to start noticing things as they happen or you're going to live a life of regrets."
He has a licence to kill. But he spends 2 hours queuing at the Post Office trying to get it renewed. And then it gets rejected because his photo id has him raising an eyebrow and smiling, which isn’t allowed under the rules.
Believing there are many, many more deserving assassins, IJB humbly asks Q to be reclassified at the 300-400 level - spies who are authorized to make FOIA requests without approval.
He's a very sensitive person, he cries every time he kills someone. "I didn't want to do it! I'm sorry!!!" The rest of the movie is him in foetal position in his couch.
"Yeah then he tied me to a chair and started hitting my balls with a braided rope."
"Oh wooow. You must be so tough to have made it through that...ha ha...I like being tied up ;)"
"It was very painful. Almost lost a testicle"
Comments
“Whatever makes sense to you.”
Bond: "Why's that woman looking at me? Am I being conspicuous? I better pretend I didn't notice and walk away."
"Oh my god, sorry! It's just it was there with all the exploding stuff so I just assumed and now I'm mortified. Can I buy you a sandwich"
*Looking down at his suede shoes, his head sunken low and a quiet murmur* ok.
"Another victory for King and --- son of bitch... Ah... Damn it Jim you have to start noticing things as they happen or you're going to live a life of regrets."
Bond: “Thank you”
https://youtu.be/bvEHk0KlXt8?si=9qSOnC6DbKoc6kWn
"Do you expect me to talk?"
"No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die."
"nice to meet you ivanta, what do you do?"
to his rather spartan apartment
and lie in bed all night, staring
at the ceiling
"Jenny Flex=Genuflects! D'oh!"
Bond (sheepishly): yes, sir.
"Oh wooow. You must be so tough to have made it through that...ha ha...I like being tied up ;)"
"It was very painful. Almost lost a testicle"
Handi Holder
"No, Mr Bond, I don't... I really don't"
*door closes*
"Good lord I thought he'd NEVER shut up. Now. Where were we on operation, 'First, Kill James Bond and then Profit?' Ahhh... step two. My favourite."
That's INTERESTING.
*Quietly weirded out by how fascinated they are by the banal*
2) Makes 3/10 off the cuff murder pun.
That's FUNNY, Bond.
I thought I had something, but in hindsight it's only marginally witty and a person DID just die.