english peasant turned longbow-man at agincourt, walking over 6,000 dead french aristocrats: yeah this is probably the funniest thing that's ever happened
Comments
Log in with your Bluesky account to leave a comment
If you have to cheat to win by choosing to do battle where horses can't run well that's just on you forever. That's just a stink that can't be perfumed over.
I remember reading my history textbook where they wrote about the Welsh folks just walking around the battlefield and stabbing the downed knights with long knives and thinking...
It's always such a tell when the chuds lionize Medieval European Knights, the dumbest motherfuckers in the history of war. Every time they fought someone who kind of knew what they were doing, like Arabs, Mongols, Turks, the English, they got wrecked.
French Chevaliers: Well I'd like to see the ol' English peasants try using their bows after that rainstorm!
*The English archers remove their bowstrings from under their helmets*
French Chevaliers: Ah! Well. Nevertheless,
Most of the English archers were "yeoman" who were a class above the peasants. It took time to do enough practice to develop the skills required. The yeoman had a lot more freedom than peasants, and allowing them to build a real power Base was risky, a risk the French were not prepared to take.
Yes. One girl. What the French couldn't stomach was a whole class in society with the economic independence and rights that went with it. In England that class existed. So the French couldn't field longbowmen. They used crossbowmen who were often mercenaries but needed much less training.
Crossbows had a longer range and were easier to use, but had nowhere near the same rate of fire.
And the English used dismounted knights to protect the archers -- socially unthinkable to the French. There was enough respect between the English men-at-arms and archers for this to work.
For the French the internal power structures could not be seriously threatened by one girl, especially since she was so obviously different from the general population. And so much easier to betray one girl than a whole class of men.
That theoretical rate of fire wasn't that important. If archers shot in a higher frequency than crossbowmen they would've been exhausted quite quickly. And the battle was not won because of the longbows, the arrows were out quite early.
Continuous rate of fire for a whole battle? I agree. Peak rate of fire to deal with a charge must help an awful lot. But choosing your ground to fit the forces and tactics you have available is easily as important as the forces themselves. Tactics, strategy, and logistics intertwine.
Yeomen were just a variant of free peasants which existed in every feudal society including France.
And the French did have archers and also many of the crossbowmen were also free peasants or townfolk who regularly trained their shooting skills and had competitions.
Keep in mind that the English actually ran out of arrows very quickly & most of the killing was made by the English men-at-arms & the archers fighting with melee weapons. Which makes much more sense anyway, medieval battles didn't have high casulties until one side broke & got killed while fleeing
Nobles usually had a decent chance of getting captured for ransom, as Eleanor Janega likes to put it "the rich were playing tag". I would suspect so many nobles got killed because there weren't enough English men-at-arms to capture them and the archers didn't care that much about taking them alive
To add: the English took so many prisoners they outnumbered the English. King Henry ordered the prisoners executed when he feared being flanked, and believed the prisoners would fight back.
Being one of the dudes who walked around finishing off all the crying wounded french dipshits moaning in the mud must've felt better than anyone on earth felt at the time
The post-battle speech from Henry V where Henry reads the names of the dead was added after Shakespeare's death. It used to be two groundlings walking around going "lol, lmfao," and farting
"You know what did it for me?"
"The speech."
"That *speech*!"
"Bro, I'm loading arrow after arrow into these French guys and all I'm thinking is 'gentlemen in England now abed--'"
"Me too, bro!"
Cool! If history literature is your bag, Ian has a great series called "Time Traveler's Guide to..." which covers various periods of English history from Medieval England through Regency England. Highly recommended.
The Mongols never bothered learning to read and write but they enslaved the most elite scholars and scribes from various cultures. Can you imagine Gengis Khan’s dictated but not read posts….
i thought it up as i was reading about pre-revolutionary french pamphleteers. posters brain has always been with us, the only thing that's changed is how easy it is to disseminate the madness
-I am the kynge of franse, I spend ten groats on turnips and meat, five and twenty on cloathes, a thousand thousand gold on dead knights in the mudd, someone who is learned at mathematick help me, my kyngdom is dying!
i remember watching this show and thinking "Man I've never seen levels of racism towards the French in my entire life. Normally these sorts of caricatures are saved for the Chinese" England truly hated France
Englishman, driving a knife thru the slit of helm on a downed French noble while another Englishman smashes the Frenchman’s cuirass with a hammer: “Sacre bleu much, ya cunt?”
Comments
https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-9/472336735_929633352665316_4104126287051972135_n.png?_nc_cat=101&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=0024fc&_nc_ohc=fmHt2x4PRWUQ7kNvgFnFwi3&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent.xx&oh=03_Q7cD1gHiOrmRsEBt3MBFjwa1hQN093EejRW8Dh1B8F4Mkd4chg&oe=67A895EC
See, because the spikey stick weapon a lot of the militia had instead of proper pikes or swords was called a goedendag
Their great grandsons killing aristocrats at Agincourt: MUD! MUD! MUD! MUD!
"Hell yeah"
*The English archers remove their bowstrings from under their helmets*
French Chevaliers: Ah! Well. Nevertheless,
And the English used dismounted knights to protect the archers -- socially unthinkable to the French. There was enough respect between the English men-at-arms and archers for this to work.
Hope this doesn't sound like mansplaining.
And the French did have archers and also many of the crossbowmen were also free peasants or townfolk who regularly trained their shooting skills and had competitions.
The English simply responded in kind.
And I hate the "someone made a joke, so any response other than 'haha omegalul so true' is not wanted" logic.
I did enjoy the funny comment and then wrote smth about the topic of the joke, what a crime!
(joan of arc has entered the chat)
“LOL, gg nub”
lol. lmao.
"The speech."
"That *speech*!"
"Bro, I'm loading arrow after arrow into these French guys and all I'm thinking is 'gentlemen in England now abed--'"
"Me too, bro!"
"More honour for us!"
(they anachronisticlally HI-FIVE)
"Out of pocket, bro."
Mason: I marched with Edward. He spared the churches because they gave the best view to watch the countryside burn.
-Outcasts of Time by Ian Mortimer.
Just something my memory triggered.
I have slain
the nobles
that were in
the army
and which
you were probably
using
as gentry
Forgive me
they were great targets
so stuck
and so muddy
(I'd give nothing, but I'd watch it for free on TBS in a hotel room ten years after release)