I have two sons, and I don't think I've ever seen messaging going "Don't be a boy" or "YOU'RE BAD."
Sure looks like that's in "I heard someone say that they heard..." territory, rather than actual direct experience.
Also worth noting, the main message from manosphere influencers is "YOU'RE BAD."
Sure looks like that's in "I heard someone say that they heard..." territory, rather than actual direct experience.
Also worth noting, the main message from manosphere influencers is "YOU'RE BAD."
Reposted from
Josh Olson
It's a brutal time for young men, and to be raising one. The primary message they now is get is "YOU'RE BAD" without any meaningful attempt to offer healthy pathways beyond "Don't be a boy."
Absolutely perfect time for right wing monsters to sweep in with shitty answers.
Absolutely perfect time for right wing monsters to sweep in with shitty answers.
Comments
https://bsky.app/profile/pinkoscare.bsky.social/post/3lodafbdpc224
And sadly, sometimes people fall for it.
They want to be openly misogynistic, racist and unempathetic without repercussion.
If you're going to act like an asshole expect to be called out as one.
The refusal to critically examine that is baffling to me.
The problem isn’t saying that “men are bad”. The problem is that anybody can say anything on the internet and people have become too stupid to actually vet who, how many, and why somebody says something.
Plus, a lot of those people didn't answer in genuine good faith. Among other things, "It's Not My Job To Educate You" became a meme because of that.
Meanwhile, the right-wingers in the Manosphere said, "Oh, Okay. I'll Educate You Instead!"
You're also supposed to recognize that things you personally see online are probably not the same as what most school age boys see online.
It's even worse when the mainstream media invites someone like Robin DiAngelo on for a public box-eating session. If white people will always be racist, why should anyone care about her?
A. said in earnest
B. actually widespread in any way
Or can we conclude that you are maladapted to discerning irony, sarcasm, and satire?
Manufactured outrage
The closest thing I can think of is learning my presence as a man can be intimidating in some circumstances, which is good to know.
We had an anti domestic violence ad at work, and one guy came to complain the ad said all men are violent. He was the one who thought “DV = normal male behaviour” and concluded the ad was attacking all men.
But don't ask men to have standards among themselves, that's "boys are bad" as well?
Accountability =/= ridicule
When I'm watching my TV
And a man comes on and tells me
How white my shirts can be
But he can't be a man 'cause he doesn't smoke
The same cigarettes as me
everyone has problems and aspirations.
you can create sell products that solve problems and further aspirations that are REAL.
you don't have to emotionally abuse people into a new problem they didn't have before
that's a choice
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_and_John_Wayne
The message is only phrased as "don't do x" and not "people who do x are whiny loser you should pick on" which is how you galvanize boys.
Like, "don't be a boy"?? Who tf even says that??
They’re also the victims and it’s everyone else’s fault, the only solution of course is not to manly things, but to be an asshole.
"OH SO ALL MUSHROOMS ARE POISONOUS NOW"
“As we neofeudalists seek to restore our proper place in the gilded caste order, it is imperative to get the sub-classes fighting and find suspicion with each other, lest they begin to understand what ‘workers of the world unite’ means . . . to our demise.”
no they're not, they're telling you not to rape people, and if you're conflating the two then you're telling on yourself
How convenient to believe that your own tribe isn't accountable.
The call is coming from inside the house; always has been
He's alienated so many people who might otherwise agree with him - sometimes over petty stuff - that I consider him with "You're not only wrong, you're wrong at the top of your voice."
and his response was “well why is it all over the news then” and my soul just left my body so fast
1) A lot of boys and young men are having a hard time and could use some help. Of course some are, there are literally millions of them.
2) A prominent group of influencers who target boys and young men is making 1 worse, and getting in the way of addressing it.
They have capacity to learn and grow.
And little girls are EXPECTED to be perfect ALL the fucking time but "boys will be boys"
FUCK. THAT.
Little boys CAN be TAUGHT BY MEN how to be decent humans WITHOUT it being spoon fed to them.
I feel similarly about the pro-natalism movement: it really is true that a low birth rate society with a disproportionate amount of old citizens will face huge structural issues, but the Christian nationalism turns everyone off
It's never "boys are bad" it's "girls can, too". It's that media briefly stopped catering to them.
Men who don't break from patriarchy live in a hostile world of fear of all other men. That is the assessment: do I fear them or do they fear me.
Which, of course, the patriarchy does because they feel like they’re the only ones who should get to dictate how society works.
I have kids and they have no trouble finding themselves or understanding how to behave.
My daughter is gay, has just graduated from high school, and very aware of the 'men bad' narrative. She's encountered one boy who expressed this view.
The boys and young men I encounter are nearly universally more mature than I was at their age.
Like a straight guy equivalent of beauty marketing targeting women that goes "you're fat and ugly, now buy this product to make yourself feel a bit better."
Same way we started more seriously talking about institutional racism, 1619 project, DEI etc -> reactionary neo-segregationist Trump 2.0
Society criticizes, the manosphere sells solutions.
It’s about creating insecurity and profit – fueling frustration and right-wing ideologies.
What’s missing? Positive, real alternatives.
Do we coddle because the reality of misogyny makes young boys uncomfortable? It's not like these boys are flocking to the right because the left doesn't have the right role models. The right just has easier answers, even if they're lies.
even before my egg cracked this shit seemed pretty self-explanatory.
boys are only being told they're not enough by the manosphere. girls aren't calling guys "soyboys" en masse.
in a world where women aren't property of men, hegemonic masculinity is a losing strategy. young men who see women as beneath them become incels.
Drill sergeants aren't nice either. What's lacking from the "left" is viscerally attractive archetypes to become.
https://www.civilrightsteaching.org/resource/great-land-robbery
Gotta make people feel like garbage so you can sell them the “cure”
They're essentially getting a two-fer.
They inject poison into the self-esteem and paradigms of men, and then profit from the resulting behavior of that poisoning.
We need to raise men to ignore hateful stuff like that, not let it get under their skin.
This issue might have similar roots.