Concerning New Study Finds Nation’s Poverty Growing Faster Than Officials Can Build Prisons theonion.com/concern... - ThreadSky

carinae-71.bsky.social•2 days ago

At first I thought this was a headline from Faux News or the Wall Street Journal.

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rheuphus.bsky.social•2 days ago

Officials do not build prisons. Private companies do.

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talkinggoatttv.bsky.social•2 days ago

Don't worry, they'll improvise prisons for us

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realnpc.bsky.social•2 days ago

God. Damn.

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ericklw.bsky.social•2 days ago

Bro this is literally my old neighborhood. 😐

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zelon-puss.bsky.social•2 days ago

Don't sell the prison builders short just yet.

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reelrelationships.bsky.social•2 days ago

I miss when The Onion was satire

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gearpunkv.bsky.social•2 days ago

Truthy

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slumberprince.bsky.social•2 days ago

Ow

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casuallychaotic.bsky.social•2 days ago

Waiting for the follow-up story: "Government declared Texas the 'Prison state', all convicts to be shipped there"

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j-phal.bsky.social•2 days ago

I'm convinced the administration is using ai to write their legislation. And purge the websites, so fucking lazy.
Or that proves just how few people are this pointlessly cruel.

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mybedisinawall.bsky.social•2 days ago

“Are there no prisons?”

“And the Union workhouses? Are they still in operation?”

“The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigour, then?”

- Scrooge

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wrjudd.bsky.social•2 days ago

That’s not a flaw, that’s a feature.

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xcrossbite.bsky.social•2 days ago

Why did you include my house in this image?

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oldgreypaganguy.bsky.social•2 days ago

Are we SURE this is satire? Really sure?

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boodikii.bsky.social•2 days ago

It's satire because it says prison, but they've moved on to concentration camps.

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kristorarian.bsky.social•1 day ago

'Work camps.'
where YOU Pay
for your Keep, Soap
laundry services, toilet
'paper,' and rent your bed

&
your
Fambly'll
be Indebted
for Generations.

but
Chillax,
bros -- it's
just Capitalism:
it Could be Worse.

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ohdahlia.bsky.social•2 days ago

Literally 😵‍💫

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spudwart.com•2 days ago

Yeah, officials don't build prisons.

They outsource that to private companies.

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snoyes22.bsky.social•1 day ago

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nolaslim.bsky.social•2 days ago

Take money from public schools. Build more prisons. It's the Louisiana way!

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vallahha.bsky.social•2 days ago

If they used the money they're spending on prisons to build schools and hospitals, they wouldn't need to build prisons. The Catholic Church should pay the indigionus people billions of dollars for taking children from their parents, and sexually abusing thousands of them with no consequences

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deslanek.bsky.social•1 day ago

The onion gets it.

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presidenthamill.bsky.social•2 days ago

The books they ban in schools they allow in prisons. The books they ban in prisons they allow in schools. Real G TikTalk what’s TikTok #PresidentHamill711 #EXPOSEninEELEVEn #ShankTrump iT iZZZ #jokerWHom ✏️🧠🃏 🃏 🃏

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peterjswanson.bsky.social•2 days ago

Telling poor people that God will strike them dead with lightning if they are bad isn't working very good anymore ...

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kali7.bsky.social•1 day ago

https://youtu.be/m4L20t8Dvlg?si=XRE2Og_UvQ3iR9zf

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jennnasis.bsky.social•2 days ago

I thought the onion was supposed to be satire

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shirley-sirius.bsky.social•2 days ago

https://generalstrikeus.com/

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garylotman.bsky.social•2 days ago

People have to wait in line for months just to get into prison. But they say it’s worth it—at least they’ll get some food.

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peropax.bsky.social•2 days ago

Ouch 🤕

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katiedyd4473.bsky.social•1 day ago

This is the problem with The Onion. The reality is getting so bad it is hard to make it parodies any more.

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spoopyghostforsale.bsky.social•2 days ago

Fucking perfect. 👌

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aaronthorpe.bsky.social•1 day ago

this is one of those Onion articles that is too accurate for its own good

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ancientone.bsky.social•2 days ago

Doesn't sound like satire, either.

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monsieursanshonte.bsky.social•2 days ago

You jest, but…

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llcoolpete.bsky.social•2 days ago

JFC onion

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lilacsnacc.bsky.social•2 days ago

I am once again asking for The Onion to be satire

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usernamem123.bsky.social•2 days ago

MOSA

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gabepuratekuta.bsky.social•1 day ago

Poverty's a mental illness, anyway.

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al-d1.bsky.social•2 days ago

Stop it! You should do satire!

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metacapitalism.bsky.social•2 days ago

Building more and more prisons for profit is an America disgrace.

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94l5-5l04n3.bsky.social•2 days ago

I was considering this sincerely yesterday.

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clem78.bsky.social•2 days ago

No problem! Just add tariffs! Fixes everything!

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gemmasbooks.bsky.social•2 days ago

Nation’s poverty growing faster than they can built *private* prisons.

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canadian-ken.bsky.social•2 days ago

It would be really funny if it weren't true.

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skyice.bsky.social•2 days ago

Are there no workhouses? Are there no prisions?

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bigironmarla.bsky.social•2 days ago

I - oh god why is there blood -inside- my armor??

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menenkim.bsky.social•2 days ago

It’s funny because it’s true

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reasonsvoice.bsky.social•1 day ago

Private prison groups can probably figure out a way to turn a bit of profit, while HELPING.

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whathavewecometo.bsky.social•2 days ago

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JBq-2FdXpeNjva2h0T72q2NLKkRi2fTo/view?usp=drivesdk

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patriciawinn.bsky.social•2 days ago

Older article, 2023. Have to build prisons quicker now. Homeless in 2024 is 18% higher in one of the richest countries in the world.

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unglamb.bsky.social•2 days ago

To close to the truth

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davidwhutchinson.bsky.social•2 days ago

That's weird, America is already starting to feel like a prison.

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haylibop.bsky.social•1 day ago

Living in that building on the right could be an extreme sport

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trevly.bsky.social•2 days ago

#arkleg #arkansas @gregleding.bsky.social

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trevly.bsky.social•2 days ago

https://arkleg.state.ar.us/Bills/Detail?id=sb354&ddBienniumSession=2025%2F2025R

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trevly.bsky.social•2 days ago

Sen. Bryan King, R-Green Forrest, voices his concerns over the governor's $750 million, 3,000 bed state prison planned for Franklin County. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YOv_8y5-NQ

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happilyblue1031.bsky.social•2 days ago

🤦🏾‍♀️

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gargleblast.bsky.social•1 day ago

oof

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delph.bsky.social•2 days ago

ooof. america!

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nickhrn.bsky.social•1 day ago

Oh! So now your reporting on real news! What happened to the silly parody articles 😆

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dauntus.bsky.social•2 days ago

Good news, we're off shoring incarceration.

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woodheap.bsky.social•2 days ago

Alt Headline: Trump regime fixes housing problem.

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thereeljon.mov•2 days ago

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odudejokelab.bsky.social•1 day ago

When does satire become this scathing 😭

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m-m-maisonette.bsky.social•1 day ago

When, for it to be understood as satire, it must be this dark.

I knew it was going to be bad, but...JFC!

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vblacktsunami.bsky.social•1 day ago

What are you doing running a factual story?

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saneman.bsky.social•2 days ago

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sxottlan.bsky.social•2 days ago

Or start wars to send them to fight.

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ohsaidwhat.bsky.social•2 days ago

Exquisite 🤌🏻

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illuminati-ganga.bsky.social•2 days ago

take that Ebenezer Scrooge!

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rednici.bsky.social•2 days ago

How about to imprisonate the government and the rich?

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derorfa.bsky.social•2 days ago

Takes much less prison space. Very efficient. Tell DOGE!

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rednici.bsky.social•2 days ago

🫡

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thekvetch.bsky.social•2 days ago

Ooof.

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tveine.bsky.social•2 days ago

🤣🤣🤣

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tveine.bsky.social•2 days ago

🤣

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michellegp.bsky.social•1 day ago

OUCH

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jillsinmo.bsky.social•2 days ago

OMG!!!!,🤣🤣🤣

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dayanaic.bsky.social•2 days ago

Why do I have a feeling more ‘Cop City’’s will appear.

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zemyla.bsky.social•2 days ago

It's easy to tell this is satire.

In the real world, prison operators have no problem with overcrowding and starving their prisoners.

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fishmamaw.bsky.social•2 days ago

Wish this was parody.

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mostyngale.bsky.social•2 days ago

One of the best things about Bluesky is that the Onion is on fire.

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pastarte.bsky.social•2 days ago

Therre is truly NOTHING FUNNY about The Onion anymore!!

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ericlackner.bsky.social•2 days ago

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ericlackner.bsky.social•2 days ago

🎯

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fpardalis.bsky.social•2 days ago

Are there no workhouses?

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takeiteze.bsky.social•2 days ago

Oof!

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leahvavra.bsky.social•2 days ago

Oh. That’s a sick burn

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hookedbycj.bsky.social•2 days ago

I can’t with y’all sometimes

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repmarjoriegreene.bsky.social•2 days ago

YEAH!!
I've been on HOLD with @corecivic.bsky.social for days!! THEY'RE TOO BUSY IN LOUISIANA!!

The future forced labor camps are overflowing in #Georgia!

✅️ IF #Georgians would vote to prosecute 16 and year old as adults too, we could speed up production on #military goods!!

THATS #MAGA 🇺🇸🇺🇸
🌭

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tomcrain.bsky.social•1 day ago

Louisiana voted that down. New Orleans is left & they’ve had enough out of Gov. Landry & Trump.

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repmarjoriegreene.bsky.social•1 day ago

We're still building private prisons... get 'em eventually, eh!

Goddamn LIBTURDS!!!

#GOD&GLIZZY bless us all... all sinners. Amen.

🇺🇸✝️🌭

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tomcrain.bsky.social•1 day ago

You may be satire, but you’re realistic enough, obnoxious enough, and have that ugly Neanderthal avatar, please stay out of my mentions, you scared the cat.

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repmarjoriegreene.bsky.social•1 day ago

Fair enough
🌭

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graywyvern.bsky.social•2 days ago

not even satire, shit

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stringerbelly.bsky.social•2 days ago

Illustrating poverty with a apartments(?) with balconies...

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stringerbelly.bsky.social•2 days ago

I mean, a balcony isn't a middle-class indicator or anything... ah, I'm talking nonsense: smash poverty!

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loreleiofthefungi.bsky.social•2 days ago

This just in: poverty rates dropping after definition of poverty changed to only being able to afford to eat every other day

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casuallychaotic.bsky.social•2 days ago

Poverty rates plummeting after definition of 'citizen' changed to only people able to afford their own private jet

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repmarjoriegreene.bsky.social•2 days ago

AMERICANS WANT CHEAP #GLIZZYS!!

🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭🇺🇸✝️

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mogigo.bsky.social•2 days ago

You are not allowed to run this story, ONION!

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socianarcommu.bsky.social•1 day ago

I mean they keep marijuana illegal… they keep poverty high… it’s the blueprint of red states.

Not satire either https://www.al.com/news/2024/10/alabamas-new-1-billion-prison-will-be-larger-than-some-county-seats.html

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jlusunshine.bsky.social•2 days ago

The Onion is so dark this week. Sooooooooo dark.

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sequoiapetite.bsky.social•1 day ago

This is sooo close to reality 😱

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helashandproductions.com•2 days ago

You are hitting it out of the park lately.

Hard to satirize this horrible nightmare land but you’re nailing it

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bmorelisa.bsky.social•2 days ago

How to compete with cheap labor in China & Indonesia etc? More poor = more prisons paid for by the state as capitalists get more 40¢/hr workers. Destroy environmental regulations & worker protections ✅ Legalize child labor ✅
What a boom for the sociopathic capitalist class.

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cryptoearthman.bsky.social•2 days ago

I should think they'd be better at maintaining the carefully crafted structure of poverty.

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usernamem123.bsky.social•2 days ago

This one hits hard...

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thetellurian.bsky.social•2 days ago

Too real.

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bigcrazewolf.bsky.social•2 days ago

This headline screams pre-ghost visit to Ebenezer vibes.

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javax2.bsky.social•2 days ago

Arkansas spent 3.8 mil to double the capacity of prison beds.

800 acres makes a quite tidy prison/concentration camp.

https://apnews.com/article/arkansas-new-prison-land-purchase-456415ec4566cda9528522afc8afaf1d

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sparthystuff.bsky.social•2 days ago

It's just as Jesus said: jail as many people as possible.

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anomalocaris.bsky.social•2 days ago

oof

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veroharr.bsky.social•2 days ago

Why does this headline make me want to cry?

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leahvavra.bsky.social•2 days ago

Cuz it’s true.

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jusnews.bsky.social•2 days ago

Build prisons In other countries

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stay-or-go.bsky.social•2 days ago

The best satire illuminates the truth. Good job.

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i-like-trans.bsky.social•2 days ago

I literally thought this was a real headline because it is SO ON BRAND for what's happening right now, how fucking dare you.

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rsspbxx.bsky.social•1 day ago

😲

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rnettlehair.bsky.social•2 days ago

Hey, stick to satire and stay in your lane. I go to The Onion to escape reality.

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forgi.cc•2 days ago

💀

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mxhrad.bsky.social•2 days ago

That this hits so close to the truth is fucking bleak.

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jeubank99615.bsky.social•2 days ago

This (sadly) is too on the nose.

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ivyleague710.bsky.social•2 days ago

Remember when the Onion used to be absurd?

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oldjavaguy.bsky.social•2 days ago

Oof

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probablyedible.bsky.social•2 days ago

This is a real headline from yesterday... I'm starting to find it hard to tell if something is satire or not.

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the1sttntboom.bsky.social•2 days ago

For those who want the source
https://www.wired.com/story/trump-tariffs-antarctic-islands-heard-mcdonald/

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digitaldraco.bsky.social•2 days ago

🫡

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stringerbelly.bsky.social•2 days ago

If I were a Trumpist I reckon I could formulate an argument about exporting goods through those islands to avoid higher tariffs. It's an argument I can well imagine them making.

I mean, what do we know about these radical, activist Marxist islanders anyway?!?

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probablyedible.bsky.social•2 days ago

They could be inhabited by nasty, woke, feminist penguins for all we know!

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