That's because you can't buy a toaster, only a bread heater that leaves the difficult bit to you. You'd think that with AI and the Internet and all you could stop checking, but no, it's still just a bread heater from the 1920s.
You need ADHD. Then you'd get the bread out to toast it, only to find a two popped up, toasted, cold slices already in the toaster, so you then go to microwave your cold coffee instead and find another cold, re-microwaved cupful inside.
I stand over the toaster counting by 5’s to 100, if it hasn’t come up by 95, I start counting very slooooowly, and in fractions…do the same procedure while stopped at at red lights!!!
Which is why FRYING a piece of bread in butter is infinitely superior. Toasting dried dries bread out even further. Frying dried bread in butter makes it hot and luscious. Completely resets the day.
My parents early-50s-vintage toaster worked flawlessly until they finally threw it away in the mid 90s. It made perfect toast every time. I've owned appx. 6 billion toasters since then, none of them worth a damn.
Me either - but that's because the only reliable toaster I ever had cost me $400 back in the day and, you know, cost of living now, it's back to lousy toasters...
https://Im.in the market for a new toaster. I was pleasantly surprised to find smart toaster with touch screen . You pick your toasting medium the color of desired toast. Boom perfect toast
I haven't bought one yesterday as 100 bucks offends me at the onset of shopping. I imagine I'll pull the trigger in a few weeks once I get used to the 100 price tag
To be fair... toasting is as much an art as it is a science. There are those who take great pains to get that perfect golden brown crispness and soft steamy center. Don't get me started on the variables for butter, jelly, jams, marmalade etc.
If two people live in the house, you can't trust the toaster because the other guy might've changed the setting to "burn," which is how they like their toast, and you never knew what the toaster was set on to start with.
I bought a toaster with a glass window and still do this.
Also, anyone who says find the right setting and leave it- go do one, ya selfish wanks. Apparently you dont eat much toast /and are lonely because the 1st vs subsequent toastings are never consistent. It takes observation.
Onion bagels in the toaster are 100% guaranteed to set off the smoke alarm.
Choices:
#1 warm the bagel...but do not toast it
#2 disarm the smoke alarm before toasting
#3 give up onion bagels
#4 accept that you will have to spot check that puppy before
the house burns down.
Why surely you jest....
Why so serious?
Reply was not intended to be fact...just some intentional joking with the not-so-serious topic of toasters.
Yeesh!!
As a kid visiting my cousins, they had a toaster that would eject the toast into the air and onto the floor unless you were there to catch them.
Can’t trust toasters.. gotta watch them; they’re sneaky..😊
You need an antique toaster. One that has no timer and allows the user to flip the bread by use of gravity. I've actually used one, once. It's a different thing.
Once you've determined proper doneness once, you only need leave the toaster setting at that place to insure proper doneness in the future. Enjoy the time you save.
Comments
4 seconds later it had turned to charcoal and set off the smoke detector.
Stupidly expensive, worth every penny.
The toast is perfect and undone, burnt and barely warm - until you check
Do it.
Or not.
Context matters.
Or you are having a stroke.
Are you going to trust your perfect snack to the vagaries of technology?
❤️❤️
Setting 4: still bread
Setting 5: 1/4 of the way to toast
Setting 5.00001: scrape the black bits off and we’re good
but hell, any excuse to start drinking
Want me to trust you? Do your work where I can see it instead of hiding like some Bakery of Oz.
You're doing the right thing, Michael.
#NeverTrustAppliances
(Literally should be grounds for divorce)
Also, anyone who says find the right setting and leave it- go do one, ya selfish wanks. Apparently you dont eat much toast /and are lonely because the 1st vs subsequent toastings are never consistent. It takes observation.
You mean you are not supposed to?
Sometimes 30 seconds is a lifetime.
Choices:
#1 warm the bagel...but do not toast it
#2 disarm the smoke alarm before toasting
#3 give up onion bagels
#4 accept that you will have to spot check that puppy before
the house burns down.
Why so serious?
Reply was not intended to be fact...just some intentional joking with the not-so-serious topic of toasters.
Yeesh!!
Krikey!
Can’t trust toasters.. gotta watch them; they’re sneaky..😊
Here’s to Bread!