Her: Why didn't you do the dishes? Me: Dishes are a distraction. We need to focus on the real issue, the vacuuming that I am also not doing. - ThreadSky

michaelhobbes.bsky.social • 2 days ago

Her: Why didn't you do the dishes?
Me: Dishes are a distraction. We need to focus on the real issue, the vacuuming that I am also not doing.

Comments

gnomez.bsky.social•2 days ago

This made everyone in the office wonder if I had suddenly become unhinged cuz I cackled

pastapilled.bsky.social•2 days ago

surprisefloof.bsky.social•1 day ago

Story of my life. Except I am both people in this conversation.

quixoticmage.bsky.social•2 days ago

But when will you build the shelf???

lizmakesit.bsky.social•2 days ago

But the vacuuming is a distraction so you don’t notice the sticky substance spilled in the fridge.

michaelhobbes.bsky.social•2 days ago

I made myself heterosexual for this skeet to really make it pop, you know

jadehawk.bsky.social•2 days ago

fox news headline: breaking news, famous gay admits he can make himself heterosexual

theduckman.bsky.social•2 days ago

All respect but it would have been better the other way.

colin1.bsky.social•2 days ago

It’s like mom using your middle name. You know shit’s serious when Michael is acting straight

phoenixcalida.bsky.social•2 days ago

Your sudden heterosexuality is a distraction

larsbrown.bsky.social•2 days ago

Good job, in my head it sounded like Peter when I read it.

pumpkinpal.bsky.social•2 days ago

helps with the verisimilitude, honestly. It was the right move.

3riverspa.bsky.social•2 days ago

Okay, I was confused.

dalassa.bsky.social•2 days ago

Did Peter ever put up that shelf?

jefrir.bsky.social•2 days ago

He went as far as to move house to avoid it! (And probably also for some other reasons)

hearing-girl.bsky.social•2 days ago

This is the real issue from which dishes *and* vacuuming (and Michael's ersatz heterosexuality) are mere distractions.

jlphistory.bsky.social•1 day ago

This is what I want to know!

statsboyandi.bsky.social•2 days ago

During pride? Smh

lunarhexagon.bsky.social•2 days ago

I was like “oh, I didn’t know Michael had a roommate”

kobullied.bsky.social•2 days ago

Braver than any US Marine

basquiatball.bsky.social•2 days ago

You're just like Marcel Proust!

trosen76.bsky.social•2 days ago

I figured it was a roommates situation

chickentendielife.bsky.social•2 days ago

Welcome to the club Michael. You have now joined 6 additional fantasy sports leagues automatically.

shillelagh.bsky.social•2 days ago

Nailed it 😉

vulpesabsurda.bsky.social•2 days ago

Him: "Why didn't you do the dishes?"
Me: "Shit is his name Jake? Wait is he bicep Jake or legs Jake?? Fuck I need to clean up my contacts"
Him: "You're talking out loud and we've been married for four years. And for the record YOU'RE leg Jake I'm glutes Thomas"

rebeccakling.bsky.social•2 days ago

So you're saying that being gay is a choice? (This is a joke! I am joking! I am saying this in jest, tongue-in-cheek, and not at all sincerely!)

gammera2k.bsky.social•2 days ago

Im so sorry Mike

chronolynx.bsky.social•2 days ago

the heterosexuality is merely a distraction-

sheelf.bsky.social•2 days ago

Michael pretending to be Peter for a day 😂

johncastiglione.bsky.social•2 days ago

Real hets know that vacuuming is a vastly better household chore than dishes; also can pretend you're using some sort of gun.

emilycello.bsky.social•2 days ago

The Village Heterosexual, at it again

jaz.foxthing.gay•2 days ago

Being straight for the bit, I could respect that, but its pride month so only half respect smh

eliseraven.bsky.social•2 days ago

i genuinely think that straight people wouldnt be able to understand the meme format if you didnt use "her" there lol

jaredlipof.bsky.social•2 days ago

It’s the Will Hunting telling the plane joke in 1st person of domestic comedy.

fynnsternis.bsky.social•2 days ago

Slay queen, everything for the bit 💅

sai-like-sigh.bsky.social•2 days ago

Method skeeting

mediumreginald.bsky.social•2 days ago

During pride month no less 😔

jlindy.bsky.social•2 days ago

Ah, so you admitted it! It's a choice!

😊

lobster667.bsky.social•2 days ago

we appreciate your sacrifice

kelpiesi.bsky.social•2 days ago

Ty for your sacrifice x

dylanreeve.com•2 days ago

As a heterosexual currently not doing tasks I should be, it really hit strongly!

eliseraven.bsky.social•2 days ago

frankly i feel more dehumanized by the establishment democrats calling me a distraction than the reactionary conservatives calling me a threat. its a horrible feeling to watch someone position in a way to co-opt our tragedy for political leverage while also announcing that we dont matter

eliseraven.bsky.social•2 days ago

Trump shut down the Trevor Project (lgbt+ suicide hotline)'s connection to the national suicide prevention hotline the day before this ruling dropped. maybe say something about that instead of calling us a distraction. tons of trans minors will see themselves in an extremely hopeless situation now.

bmoritz99.bsky.social•2 days ago

Does this mean The Shelf is a distraction?

david.uncensored.zip•2 days ago

Yours and Peter's posting slowly merging into a single style

danlargebutklein.bsky.social•2 days ago

Its gonna be cute when they get married

mosermostly.bsky.social•2 days ago

Village homosexual still workshopping metaphor

freddiemurky.bsky.social•2 days ago

Chuck Shumer had ADHD, you guys! It's not his fault!

kieranblake.bsky.social•2 days ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

trueref.bsky.social•2 days ago

Why are you doing dishes and vacuuming? Go out and do good.

nowforager.bsky.social•2 days ago

I question that this is really you, due to the missed opportunity for slipping in “dishtraction”.

bighamsandwich.bsky.social•2 days ago

I think I would give Schumer's distraction line the benefit of the doubt if he was like, physically blocking entrance to the Senate chamber, or denying quorum or something. Literally anything to meaningfully draw attention to the bill maybe

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