I think people find me strange for many reasons but not for this particular one. That said, I have written before on why I don’t drink alcohol or use recreational drugs: whatever.scalzi.com/2016/03/24/r... - ThreadSky

scalzi.com • 31 days ago

I think people find me strange for many reasons but not for this particular one. That said, I have written before on why I don’t drink alcohol or use recreational drugs:

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2016/03/24/reader-request-week-2016-6-why-i-dont-drink-or-use-drugs/

Comments

the1jill.bsky.social•31 days ago

Addiction issues run in my family, too. That didn't stop me from trying things myself, but then again I wasn't exposed to family members with substance issues. I wish I had been, honestly. At one point I was drinking daily, and am damned lucky I didn't become an alcoholic. 1/

the1jill.bsky.social•31 days ago

At another point in life, I became addicted to opioids and again, got seriously lucky in that I came off them cold turkey (goddamn was THAT a miserable experience), and no longer crave them. Last painkiller I took was when I got my wisdom teeth out, and that was definitely not recreational lol. 2/

the1jill.bsky.social•31 days ago

I don't drink at all anymore. I can't even take a sip of alcohol without a massive surge of anxiety. And y'know, I don't miss it one bit! If I could go back in time, I'd never have drank at all, honestly. It's not as if it ever brought anything positive to my life.

Tl;dr: I totally get you, man.

kenfinch.bsky.social•29 days ago

I have maybe four or five drinks a week…a beer or two at the pub on Friday, a glass of wine with dinner here and there. But I have a brother who’s a function Ming alcoholic and a good friend who worries me with his drinking. Makes me want to back off even more, just to be an example if nothing else.

hilo1.bsky.social•30 days ago

just otc prescriptions and the very rare alcoholic beverage for me.

inc0rrigible.bsky.social•31 days ago

That essay is way better than the actual messaging kids get, because your not on a soapbox and being honest.

geste.bsky.social•31 days ago

I drank heavily for a long time and never managed to write good fiction. I'm ten months sober. Now I'm writing fiction. 🥳

kevin-g-farrell.bsky.social•31 days ago

I have the same family history. And at 12 and 1/2 years old went down the same path. Today I am 27 years clean through Narcotics Anonymous. I wish that I had been as forward looking as you were. Alas, I was not. I totally support you and your choices. Good for you. And Thank You for your books.

joeyg-liberal.bsky.social•26 days ago

kevin-g-farrell.bsky.social•26 days ago

My clean date is January qst 1998. I have an NA Homegroup, an NA Sponsor, who has an NA Sponsor.

kevin-g-farrell.bsky.social•26 days ago

1st. Not qst. Damn fat fingers 🤣

joeyg-liberal.bsky.social•26 days ago

❤️ Me: 3-04-1984 All NA! ❤️

socalmonk.bsky.social•30 days ago

Hm. I'm not a writer, but I've found that coal crackers, mill hunkies, everybody I worked with in the oil patch, has found it odd that I don't drink. I think that is a common perception among alcoholics.

timmadison.bsky.social•30 days ago

Yeah, I've always been the same. I will very, very occasionally have a drink, but not much. And while a bit of it stemmed from early paranoia, I've just never been particularly interested in altering myself. It's not a judgment of anyone else, so it's strange when somebody makes an issue of it.

gili92107.bsky.social•30 days ago

Isn’t it better to feel your feelings, process them and move on than mask them with booze or recreational drugs?

spewspewitt.bsky.social•30 days ago

There are a lot of reasons not to drink or use recreational drugs. But one of the greatest ones is you save a hell of a lot of money.

snooktronic.bsky.social•31 days ago

Oh do I relate to this!

sadanielwrites.bsky.social•31 days ago

Thank you for sharing this. I also spent my childhood watching alcohol/drugs destroy many family members’ lives, so I never had any desire to drink. It didn’t look “cool” to me, like it did for friends. I saw it as a destroyer of lives. And I’ve never wanted to find out if it could ruin my life too.

techfoo.bsky.social•31 days ago

This summarizes so many of my feelings towards alcohol & addiction. Thank you.

jennxreviews.bsky.social•30 days ago

And now I have even more respect for you. We are both from the same boat and abstain for the same reasons.

olangotang.bsky.social•30 days ago

Hi eisha

metsfan.bsky.social•31 days ago

Those burritos, though.

tammylc.bsky.social•31 days ago

Who needs drugs when you come up with those burritos sober?

lavenderhearts.bsky.social•31 days ago

Having grown up around and later on lived with an alcoholic uncle, I know what you mean about how it makes you look at drugs differently when someone close to you has an addiction. You wonder if you'd be stronger than that, and fear that you're not gonna be. So you just... don't start.

lavenderhearts.bsky.social•31 days ago

That being said, by the time I hit the appropriate age to be peer-pressured into drinking, I had friends who were either recovering or, strangely, outright allergic to alcohol. No one bugged me beyond "you wanna try this? no? okay" and man, I still appreciate that to this day

kblog.bsky.social•31 days ago

A lot of us don’t drink or use recreational drugs.

katzak.bsky.social•31 days ago

I’m that kind of “weird” too. I like my clear brain.

orna.bsky.social•31 days ago

This. Is. Awesome. (Sorry about your family members; I hope their hard work paid off.)

cathshaffer.bsky.social•31 days ago

I wish more bars had non-alcoholic, non-caffeinated, non- or very low-caloric beverages so I can pay my seat tax and visit with my friends without consuming stuff that makes me feel crummy and ruins my sleep.

tammylc.bsky.social•31 days ago

When was the last time you were in a bar? NA drinks are huge right now & most bars offer a section of interesting mocktails/zero-proof cocktails. If you want no/low calorie, then you should order a club soda with lime, because flavor has calories. But there's never been a better time to not drink.

cathshaffer.bsky.social•31 days ago

Club soda and tonic water have plenty of sugar, and most mocktails also have quite a bit. I'd love to be able to have herbal tea, iced or hot.

tammylc.bsky.social•31 days ago

Club soda is just carbonated water. That's it. No sugar. Maybe some minerals. Expecting a bar to have herbal tea (or any tea, honestly) feels like a stretch. Bringing your own bags is a good idea, although not all are equipped for boiling water.

cathshaffer.bsky.social•31 days ago

I usually call that seltzer water, and I don't like it at all, unfortunately. I really just don't want to be a rude customer who occupies a table all night and drinks only water, and I haven't really figured out a good solution. (ha, see what I did there)

cathshaffer.bsky.social•31 days ago

Oh, I have an idea! Maybe I can keep herbal tea packets in my purse, and then if the bar doesn't have a decaf tea, I can use my own when they bring the hot water.

kblog.bsky.social•31 days ago

Eventually you find your bar friends and you no longer have a lot in common.

jdrhoades.bsky.social•29 days ago

"psychedelics, which I worry that if I took would cause me to freak out more than I would like, which means that such a freakout would likely be a self-fulfilling prophecy.."

As a former heavy LSD user, can confirm. It's why I gave it up. 3 bad times, the last 1 caused by worry about the 1st 2.

leefranke.bsky.social•31 days ago

My youngest is the same. She had her first drink (cider) at 23 and not a drop since.

That drink was also a special occasion. She visited Hobbiton and The Green Dragon and a huge LOTR nerd that was like wedding for her.

michael-a-martin.bsky.social•31 days ago

Moderation is fine. Just don’t go overboard with it.

kayleighj.bsky.social•31 days ago

Had a roommate in college, whom I got along very well with, who wanted to take me out for a beer on my 21st birthday. I said sure, I'd like a rootbeer. She never spoke to me since that moment, and we lived together the rest of the semester.

kerthulhu75.bsky.social•31 days ago

Not sure why this brings to mind the anecdote about Heinlein slipping Asimov a Cuba Libre.

kevininthemiddle.bsky.social•30 days ago

When I gave up alcohol the standard question from friends was "what's wrong? are you sick?" I gave up simply because I hated feeling bad the next day, even just after a couple of drinks. Even now, 8 years later, my not drinking is considered to be an aberration when I go home to Ireland.

violavoila.bsky.social•30 days ago

46 is “middle aged???”

prostetnicjeltz.bsky.social•30 days ago

Absolutely it is.

doctorotaku.bsky.social•31 days ago

I grok it. I stopped drinking due to pancreatitis, was not much of a drinker to begin with, and never smoked or did drugs after seeing family trying to use them to cope with trauma spiraling down to harder drugs.

flerkens.bsky.social•31 days ago

You seem pretty normal to me. I've never associated writers with people like Hemingway, because I've known too many of them in RL (and I am one). We are a strange bunch for a lot of other reasons though.

trulytish.bsky.social•31 days ago

Well said, and well lived!

namibluesky.bsky.social•31 days ago

I spoke to an addiction medicine specialist for work recently and he said there is no health benefit to even small amounts of alcohol. That changed my perspective. If there’s no health benefit and social benefits can be duplicated with other things, sober people aren’t missing out on anything.

katherinevillyard.com•31 days ago

My mother insisted she was NOT an alcoholic! She just hid jugs of wine and vodka in random spots in the house and sent her underaged daughter out to buy her more booze because… don’t ask questions.

She would be appalled that this story is about her. https://www.katherinevillyard.com/2024/05/15/underworld/

colbagstokedaf.bsky.social•30 days ago

Im in recovery so me neither and it definitely feels awkward sometimes to other people. Love your books, started with starter villain and i've read almost all of your books, love the interdependency series. I know the story ended but would love another one in that universe. Any plans for that ever?

kedwards.bsky.social•30 days ago

If the unholy burrito violations don’t tip you into the strange category, being a teetotaler ain’t gonna change that.

phinp.bsky.social•31 days ago

I don't drink any more because of medication, socially in Europe it has only just become a normalised thing (but guess who is the designated driver no matter).

kroth.bsky.social•31 days ago

whoa, showing an excess of sanity and tolerance?

You are so old fashioned.

chaoslibrarian.bsky.social•31 days ago

Seems like a pretty healthy take. In my experience the folks who think you're judging them for not joining them are telling on themselves - and should probably reexamine their own relationship with substances.

I feel the same way about people who judge others for not becoming parents...

chaoslibrarian.bsky.social•31 days ago

Anyway smoking is flatly disgusting. I grew up around smokers and have been disgusted by it from the start. When I was 4 I threw my mom's lit cigarette in the trash. That's the only time I remember even touching a cig willingly.

tmshannonauthor.com•31 days ago

Nothing wrong with sobriety

There are addicts and alcoholics finding and maintaining sobriety every day in 12-Step and other programs

stonedsean.bsky.social•31 days ago

I am in awe that you are able to mainline reality in spite of the horrors.

fablor.bsky.social•31 days ago

As a therapist specializing in addiction treatment and someone who in recovery herself, I applaud this so hard! Well spoke and spot on.

evilcylon.bsky.social•31 days ago

Nothing but respect from me on that.

cafranchise.bsky.social•30 days ago

I saw what it did to my grandfather.

dirtyboy69.bsky.social•31 days ago

The only thing in your text that surprises me in your text is that people actually were cool with you not drinking and or taking drugs. Because where I grew up, people seriously asked you if everything is okay with you, because there must be something wrong, because you don't drink.

dirtyboy69.bsky.social•31 days ago

And nope, not just the really lost ones, who's addiction has already destroyed their lives, it was everyone. Well, thinking about it, I must have grown up in a really alcoholic area of our planet.

redandthewolf.bsky.social•31 days ago

I like your current view. And especially:
"I also don’t mind if people assume I’m in recovery. It’s not correct, but it’s not an insult, and if someone is judgey about people in recovery, then they’re the asshole."
I also have seen people work to overcome addiction, it's incredibly difficult.

carol-in-chicago.bsky.social•30 days ago

“causes jam bands”
Oh, Scalzi. Thanks for this and other things.

phdad.bsky.social•31 days ago

I find it odd but not surprising that people who do imbibe pressure or tease others who don't.
It seems to me that often it's because they are ashamed or embarrassed and feel the need to justify themselves and put someone who might judge them on the defensive.

phdad.bsky.social•31 days ago

In our house water is the definition of an "Adult Beverage"

engelke.com•31 days ago

I find I can take it or leave it. As I age I 'take it' less often.

Except this week. I'm taking Percocet after major surgery and it has me GIDDY. Oh, not the drug; the lack of PAIN after half a year of non-stop moderate to severe pain. THAT is what those things are good at. And I'll be over it soon

unclepatrick2.bsky.social•31 days ago

I use to drink
I drank to excess and was a nasty drunk
When I got married, I did not want to be one of those husbands
and I knew she wanted kids
I did not want to be one of those Fathers
the last time I drank was my wedding reception
I been sober ever since
My family been worth it

sarahmcmo.bsky.social•30 days ago

It shouldn't be a thing. People should do whatever is best for them. Like I don't go around judging people for not drinking coffee, it's just not for them and that's ok. I can enjoy my coffee either way. 😌☕

malber1.bsky.social•31 days ago

Me from the other place:

iplayguitarbad.bsky.social•31 days ago

It always surprises me when people question why someone doesn't drink or do drugs. It's odd that the default assumption is that we all do. I, too, don't drink or use drugs and have had so many people ask "wow, why not?!" and I'm just like... I just don't? No real reason. It's annoying, frankly.

janelindskold.bsky.social•31 days ago

I also don't drink or use recreational drugs (okay, coffee). I made the decision really young that anything that was weird and me would just be weird and me. Weird, huh?

angrygato.bsky.social•31 days ago

This is my favorite.

boudiccamic.bsky.social•31 days ago

Similar. Grew up in a family of alcoholics. Don’t want to repeat that. Plus, can’t stand the smell or taste of alcohol. Grew up listening to my mother cough up a lung every morning. Didn’t understand why the prevention programs warned of the fatality of smoke inhalation, but people would willingly

boudiccamic.bsky.social•31 days ago

inhale smoke. Made no sense to me. No attraction at all to alcohol, cigarettes, or any drugs. Can’t stand the thought of being intoxicated & not in control of my actions. My anxious brain thinks that kind of vulnerability is absolutely abhorrent! Never felt any drive to alter my consciousness.

danutt.bsky.social•31 days ago

I have a similar experience. Having family with drug addiction, really stirred me away from drugs and drinking. I also hate the feeling out of not being in control of my faculties.

boudiccamic.bsky.social•31 days ago

* fire prevention programs (I hate typos)

shd262623.bsky.social•31 days ago

That was a great read. I'm in much the same shoes, with the difference that I used to be kind of a goth in my teenage and young adult years, and everyone just kind of assumed I drank, smoked and did drugs because I "looked like" I did, lol. They were always so surprised.

writing-to-the-max.bsky.social•31 days ago

I do my best writing and public reading when I’m slightly buzzed. But it’s easy for me to talk,coming from a family without addiction issues. I can see why you’d want to avoid alcohol and other substances.

joeauerbach.bsky.social•31 days ago

Same. I've never felt the urge to do that stuff and nobody has ever seemed like they thought that was odd (except maybe as a joke)

joeauerbach.bsky.social•31 days ago

I honestly think that "people will think that's weird" is a thing people tell themselves to justify their own use.

vivalareina.bsky.social•29 days ago

Good for you. I'm almost 43, and have never been drunk or high a day in my life. I love being in control. 🤷🏽‍♀️ I see absolutely zero appeal in giving my control over to anyone or anything else. Especially not other people. 😳 I could never. Plus, I can all but guarantee I'd be an angry drunk.

james-at-57.bsky.social•31 days ago

Strange but happy because happiness is strange today

rinelk.bsky.social•31 days ago

Huh. I have virtually identical policies, for virtually identical reasons. It was really nice to read that and feel less alone. Thank you!

benhuczek.bsky.social•31 days ago

Bizarre that you have to explain why you don't do something rather vice versa. Newton wod be turning in his grave....

thebananaking.bsky.social•31 days ago

Yeah, that's roughly me, too.

Alcoholic grandparent noping me tf out on one side, doctor in the family dealing with drug-seeking types on the other, and a partner who was Muslim for the first handful of years. It just never took.

Also the times I have been drunk, I absolutely hated it.

geob42.bsky.social•31 days ago

Never had an interest in any drugs - none of my friends did either. Quit drinking to lose weight

Comments

Posting Rules

Reply