if you lick it and it tastes good, it's halite. if you lick it and you get tiny splinters, might be asbestos. if you lick it and die of radiation poisoning, then its likely uranium
What probably works just as well is to tell them “Hey, look at this {some *cool* rock this definitely isn’t}!”—they’ll not be able to *not* tell you it ISN’t that rock, it’s a {correctly identified rock}.
I wonder how much the value of the bill would skew identification. Obviously a 1 dollar bill would be a completely different geological context than a 20 or 100 dollar bill and could severely impact the accuracy of identification. At which point is the context too overwhelming to identify the rock?
however, if you wish to kill a geologist you must show them an obsidian knife. they will say oh! thats so cool! however because it is a brittle mineral it is not suited for combat AND THEN YOU HIT THEM WITH YOUR WOODEN BAT WHICH THEY WOULDNT HAVE SEEN FOR THEY ONLY SEE ROCKS AND MINERALS!
Mineral is naturally occurrin solidg, inorganic, with a specific internal physical structure, and a defined or nearly defined chemical composition. OBSIDIAN is an internal blob!
I took a Geology class in college. One of my classmates showed him a rock and asked “what kind of rock is this.” The prof said “it’s a nice rock.” I’d read the chapter already and knew he’d actually said gneiss rock. The classmate was confused.
If you pass a Mineralogy class and lab, you deserve to be paid for your knowledge and experience. How I did still amazes me... it was one of the hardest classes I have ever taken.🤯
actually all you need to do is say ‘look at this piece of red granite (or any other implausibly wild guess) i found’ and the unfailing Instinct To Correct will take over
same for seeking information in any internet forum
Yeah, they want to know where it's from, and then they invariably answer that it must have been transported 1500-2000 km during the last glacial period.
Why did I think the right way involved them licking it. I've definitely mixed up two different professions but I don't know who is supposed to lick the rock 😂
Of course the even more certain (and cheaper) way to go is to snap a picture of the rock and post it somewhere public with a caption like "Look at this cool I found!".
I remember this phenomenon, where it's easier to find answers about something by being wrong about it rather than asking about it. Think it's called Occam's razor.
My comment was a reference to Cunningham's Law (https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Cunningham%27s_Law), which states "the best way to get the right answer on the internet is not to ask a question; it's to post the wrong answer."
._. I mean, I understand the years of learning to be able to identify gems & minerals, but this is what keeps me from getting some of my stuff identified or confirmed. I can’t justify a hundred or more $ for that. I feel like I would do it for free for walk-ins, but I’d be a jeweler primarily 🤗
We geologists don’t generally go into the field for big bucks but because we love figuring out the story the rocks tell us. So you usually can’t shut us up if you ask us about a rock. We’re more likely to pay you to stick around to listen to us tell you about the rock’s entire history. Keep the $5.
The job market has been rough for the last 8 years, and is basically dead at the moment. If you're a recent graduate, that $5 might be the only money you're getting.
Not just last 8. When I graduated in 88 I planned to go into petroleum exploration in Texas but bottom dropped out of the industry. Jokes at the time included 1) what do you call a petroleum geologist? Unemployed. And…
2) A petroleum geologist with a MS couldn’t find a job so she applied for an open manager’s position at McDonald’s. Owner says “sorry your not qualified”. The geologist said “why?” Owner says “all our geologist have PhDs”.
This is true. A little known fact is that Geologists actually live on money -- they use it like fuel. So if you want it to work better, feed it more money.
Mental note: Two essential elements to get my rock identified. A) Wrap it on a "5 bucks" note, and B) Do not forget to tell "appropriate geological context".
They're Geologists. It's like asking them to spell c-a-t.
You can literally just take a picture of it and ask the Internet or use an app. Or do it the old fashioned way and identify it yourself.
Have we really become such a money transactional nation that nobody does anything except for money? No, I don't think so, but you'd never tell it from the news out of MAGA World
The maga and the radical left both agree: people should be paid for their work. Where we disagree is who counts as people—Which is a much larger issue to contend with.
I started playing canasta a couple of years ago. Everyone we know now plays for money, although small stakes. My group and I all agree that even with small amounts, money changes everything and it would inhibit the way we play and our fun.
Comments
Just imagine where it has come from, where it has been; who picked it up and -maybe- who cut and polished it
“First of all, I need a lot more to test. Second of all, that will be $1200.”
“Ok. Bye!”
It was a niece rock.
Geographer: "Between 2 and 10 tonnes"
Engineer: "6.2643 tonnes"
Geologist: "How much do you want there to be?"
Offer them a nickel bag.
3068 = 2×2×13×59
Guy with rock: Look at this meteorite I found.
Geologist: Well, actually that's a...
I try not to take people for granite
same for seeking information in any internet forum
The first three being
“Old scientists are stuffy”,
“Why are you asking me if something is impossible? I’m just as limited as you are.”
And “dude, it’s all just magic. Ain’t it awesome?”
one could easily write a joke based on the long island duck joke but with minerals. 🤷🏽♂️🧐
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AndfIlUmSLM
Wrap up grammar questions on bitcoin and let me know
🤣
As @jerwah.bsky.social points out, 386 is close.
https://xkcd.com/386/
Otherwise, it'll just blow up your notifications with people insulting your photography skills.
(oh, & please also include the bonus title tag text)
Will keep him happy all the time
Some other fellow's making nothing at all
And you can hear him cry"
Digging around in the earth, looking for gems and minerals.
One day they will delve too deeply, too greedily.
Geologists are more likely to correctly identify the rock, though.
(c'est la blague la plus barrée que j'ai jamais sortie...)
They are a bit erratic.
Also it's pretty much always a chunk of quartz
Answer to all legal questions: “It depends.”
"Because it looks cool and there is an ammonite fossil in it" -me
- Former megascopic petrography student
- 39 years as a practicing registered geologist
And just a hint: geology is a broad field. Not all geologists are expert at identifying rocks and minerals.
You can literally just take a picture of it and ask the Internet or use an app. Or do it the old fashioned way and identify it yourself.
Alt text: https://explainxkcd.com/3068#Transcript