This is, again, the influence of right-wing propaganda. "Men aren't allowed to flirt with women anymore!" is a universal truism in male-dominated spaces and something I've never heard a straight woman say.
Reposted from
BeijingPalmer
I don't think it's true, for instance, that asking women out in person (instead of through the extremely hierarchical and often exclusionary world of dating apps) actually became socially anathema in the late 2010s. But I think a lot of young men started to *believe* that it was.
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I mixed up who I was talking about in a previous response.
But there’s the rub isn’t it? Men never pick the appropriate time or place. (Hint: it’s not when she’s working, or got headphones on, or socially indicates she isn’t interested)
https://youtu.be/P7xS54IGEGI?si=JaerzKmwD9GQjGX3
I'm married now, but I'm a very mediocre dude whose gone out with models. Just be normal and woman are so excited
Like, don't say creepy shit, dont be physically weird. If you wouldnt do it to a man you don't know, don't do it to a woman you're just meeting. Be normal!
“see, i don’t do any of those things, for starters…”
I’ve also never had these dating issues as a fellow mid cis dude. My one weird trick was having a lot of close friends throughout my life who weren’t men 🫨
So many of my stunning, successful, friends date really average dudes because they don't suck. (My bi friends just date women).
Having to limit what they say is what douchebag men consider "being prevented from flirting"
All part of the perception that they should never be held accountable for what they do. Supported by "if Trump can get away with it, why can't I?"
Newsflash, relationships and social behavior is complicated actually. That’s why we used to have edit books
Give the men Emily post
Somebody make an Emily post for young men and teach them about being introduced, proper etiquette for gentlemen callers etc
It also has to do with the anti intellectualism movement. Women outnumber men in universities, 60to40% in 13 states, which leads to them making less/the same amount of $$ as women.
The dumbest men already don’t know when women are flirting with them: we tend to be quite subtle about our approach.
The waitress is probably not flirting with you, but performing warmth because that is part of her service-sector job.
I just didn't catcall or harass her, I asked her out as an equal. Simple!
Man makes a flirty little compliment? Makes my day.
Man cat calls me or just comes on strong with no groundwork? Ick.
But that's no one else's problem. It's on us to solve it for ourselves, by talking about it like damned adults.
Maybe it's that they know it isn't serious? But maybe dudes need the confidence of a 70 yr old retiree to just be warm and graciously accept No if it comes
It winds up seeming like there’s consensus, but really you’re hearing from the angriest and most miserable 5% of people.
But that's boring-ass advice that no Man-Guru will ever get rich selling.
And no...no it is not.