even in the magical Shardplate armor in Stormlight Archives, one main character is asked about it and he's like "yeah, someone else has to wipe or I just have to shit myself and worry about it later" "better embarrassed than dead".
i simply would make magical armor that runs on poo but i'm amazing.
Thank you for getting the image of a knight frantically trying to remove a codpiece while quietly singing Bob Seger's '... workin' on my knight piss' stuck in my head.
So I hired the same blacksmith that makes female armor sets in fantasy videogames so despite the fact my armor has the highest stats it's actually just a metal jockstrap and some bracers which makes it very easy to pee
Seems that way. Knight armor removal required a pit crew, so they had to go prior to battle/whatever or take a “I lived!” dump. Here’s a 1000 year old representation of knights using Ye Olde Poopin’ Rewm.
This is quality educational content. They really are curling some off eh? Back to back as well! With an audience! Crazy times. Reminds me of Glastonbury Festival 1991…
I always randomly think about how in France when Versailles was a real thing, women would just randomly shit and piss in corners of rooms and halls while wearing giant dresses and perfumers made a ton of money because everyone was trying to cover up their stank.
Even crazier? First tanks. Engine was inside the cabin, unshielded. Cabin so heavy it'd push the bulkhead into your head. Early thank guys wore nothing but their tight whities and a leather helmet and people surrendered to them in droves. I'm sure hilarity and sheer terror ensued shortly after.
Per @peter.petermorwood.com: “They just took off (or opened) the one necessary area.” No big deal. “…And when things got hot & heavy, they were not the first (or the last) soldiers to just Let It Happen.” 😄
Oh yeah, not uncommon to just piss yourself. Fear, panic, adrenaline etc before a battle. I'm not going to stop being a living tank and risk death to have a piss.
I always chuckle when I will rewatch Bill and Ted’s excellent adventure, and Bill somehow magically falls out of his mediaeval suit of armour when he falls down a set of stairs.
Comments
i simply would make magical armor that runs on poo but i'm amazing.
Your faulds hung down from the hips while your leg cuisses went up under the faulds.
Some protected the groin but most has chainmail do the work
However, it does make me fight more desperately, as I need to use the restroom asap
So, my beloved medieval history scholar, have you ever seen such a lovely work of art?
https://youtu.be/nEA3lJawFLA?si=hK7hFLDpTcQJCTXv
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZjAantupsA
Rusting your amazingly expensive chain Mail!? No
(You're Welcome <3)