Sources are telling me that the Harris campaign is considering an offer from Robert F. Kennedy Jr. in which the maverick candidate would endorse her in exchange for appointment as Secretary Of Falconry. A potential complication: during the call, Kennedy mentioned unprompted that he "once ate a guy." - ThreadSky

davidjroth.bsky.social • 222 days ago

Sources are telling me that the Harris campaign is considering an offer from Robert F. Kennedy Jr. in which the maverick candidate would endorse her in exchange for appointment as Secretary Of Falconry. A potential complication: during the call, Kennedy mentioned unprompted that he "once ate a guy."

Comments

mikegianella.bsky.social•222 days ago

If the guy was an immigrant that could really bring in voters from both sides of the aisle

seandacey.bsky.social•222 days ago

He knows all about bear markets as well.

yastreblyansky.bsky.social•222 days ago

I'm hearing he's up for Secretary of Measles, Mumps, and Rubella, with the mission of stopping discrimination against the right of viruses to be who they are.

herculedupin.bsky.social•222 days ago

Hey! Why are you blabbing?!? This is his shot, man!

laurapcd1.bsky.social•222 days ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂

jonhutson.bsky.social•222 days ago

RFK, Jr.: 'Call Me an Anthropophagy Apologist; Cannibal Is a Slur'

me2u.bsky.social•222 days ago

Kennedy would be best placed in the Department of Agriculture. He could work with all cases involving pecans, filberts and walnuts or in general any nut case.

rismith.bsky.social•222 days ago

I can hear Norm reading this from the Weekend Update desk.

calexander.bsky.social•222 days ago

But he wasn’t alive at the time.

How did he get dead? Um, the car in front of me killed him.

one-underscore.bsky.social•222 days ago

Mr. Kennedy was upbeat in his confirmation hearing to be Ambassador to the Reptilian Confederacy, but he never made it into the country. He was turned away at the border and the Reptilian premier rejected his diplomatic credentials, citing his unusually high risk as a infectious disease vector.

titaniumman.bsky.social•222 days ago

Depends on which guy.

mrthursday.bsky.social•222 days ago

After some lingering guilt from the bear incident, Robby decided he'd make NYPD's life a little easier by taking the dead cyclist he found in Central Park. And if he didn't eat the guy, his body would have gone to waste.

chinajoeflynn.bsky.social•222 days ago

It makes so much more sense to pivot to the GOP, but you have to give it up for that weird Kennedy part of his brain that just assumes the Democrats will give him shit.

cwilhelm24.bsky.social•222 days ago

Sure, but that's just because the worm ate the part of his brain that understands the consequences of his actions.

donferrari.bsky.social•222 days ago

"Okay, twice."

lukegarrett.bsky.social•222 days ago

Not sure I’ll ever get tired of RFK Jr. cannibalism jokes, mostly because I think it’s plausible he’s eaten a guy.

davidjroth.bsky.social•222 days ago

It's a coin flip for me. He seems really into eating stuff you're not really supposed to eat.

lethaljorts.bsky.social•222 days ago

He's been in exotic enough locales enough times that he's at least had opportunity

waxmonkey.bsky.social•222 days ago

must eat brain

the worm demands it

luckie-reubs.bsky.social•222 days ago

Give it three weeks and Jake Tapper will cry a river about this joke, too.

lukegarrett.bsky.social•222 days ago

Exactly. It’s not like I’m convinced, but I have questions. It’s kind of impressive, in a way.

amutepiggy.bsky.social•222 days ago

that guy has been chased away from more than one dumpster by a guy with a broom, i tell you what

pdxpratt.bsky.social•222 days ago

The Mr. Yuk we deserve.

craigdanz.bsky.social•222 days ago

For RFK Jr, if the medical establishment is against it, it is his duty to try it himself at least once to make sure they’re not trying to pull another one over on us.

markshatraw.bsky.social•222 days ago

He seems like the kind of guy who would go to a raccoon's house for dinner

offtheupright.bsky.social•222 days ago

I don't think he's ever actually eaten a guy, but I do think *he thinks* he's eaten a guy.

(It was actually some really gnarly venison he found in a malfunctioning garage fridge)

makeitsnow.bsky.social•222 days ago

take it just to prove she can make better deals than trump iyam

classicmax.bsky.social•222 days ago

"i support that" - hannibal elector

celebrityhottub.bsky.social•222 days ago

Hearing reports that RFK also went to Trump to be "chili czar" but refuses to use any ingredients cleared by "the traitorous FDA"

thehockeyboomer.bsky.social•222 days ago

@actioncookbook.bsky.social robbed again by partisan politics

davidjroth.bsky.social•222 days ago

This is going to be a tough decision for the notoriously anti-bean Team Trump.

aldokelrast.bsky.social•222 days ago

"Rob, I thought you were a 'chili ain't got beans' guy."

"Those aren't beans, those are eggs!"

"Uhh... what kind of..."

*cocks a 17-century deuling pistol*

"Eat the chili."

chinajoeflynn.bsky.social•222 days ago

"Legumes, we hate them, don't we folks! Is it a plant? Is it a nut? Is it a fungus? Who the hell knows?"

bolen.co•222 days ago

After 9/11 he notoriously bragged about having the tallest Skyline.

sonofspam.bsky.social•222 days ago

yeah but

justinbauer.bsky.social•222 days ago

"RFK as 'Chili Czar' promotes first of many all-bean chilis."

spavel.bsky.social•222 days ago

I thought @falconryfinance.bsky.social was already tapped for the Secretary of Falconry role

moacir.com•222 days ago

too bad that it’s Trump who loves the ppl eaters.

moacir.com•222 days ago

also wtf that’s how you get a prion disease, RFK, Jr. You can’t keep playing russian roulette with your brain.

davidjroth.bsky.social•222 days ago

Hmm I actually think he can.

markshatraw.bsky.social•222 days ago

Have to convince the worm to pay rent somehow

zgeballe.bsky.social•222 days ago

It's one way to remove a brain worm I hear

basquiatball.bsky.social•222 days ago

IT WAS LEGAL IN THE NATION HE TRAVELED TO HUNT HIM IN

tomscud.bsky.social•222 days ago

i think they're going to be putting him in charge of falconry-based financial instruments

7leaguebootdisk.bsky.social•222 days ago

That's already covered @falconryfinance.bsky.social

tomscud.bsky.social•222 days ago

yeah but we need all-american falconry based financial assets

hylen26.bsky.social•222 days ago

Just once?

wildgorillaman.bsky.social•222 days ago

comixthomas.bsky.social•222 days ago

But they need him to split the amazingly credulous moron vote

bresnanteddy.bsky.social•222 days ago

Maybe we should appoint him Minister of the Interior and make America truly wild and fearsome again.

gavinesq.bsky.social•222 days ago

That's not really a disqualifier anymore. It's a well-known fact that Tom Cotton regularly ate human flesh in Afghanistan.

greggjlevine.bsky.social•221 days ago

https://bsky.app/profile/greggjlevine.bsky.social/post/3kzqffpvhja25

craigdanz.bsky.social•222 days ago

Calling someone “weird” is getting a ton of traction in this election and it is NOT aimed at RFK Jr.

woozer.bsky.social•222 days ago

In his last act in this life, President Carter ceremonially appoints him as ambassador to the last country with cases of Guinea worm.

celticdragon1.bsky.social•221 days ago

His gyre widens

thegus11.bsky.social•222 days ago

snorted so loud my wife texted me from bed upstairs to ask what that noise was

sigh007.bsky.social•222 days ago

I had thought it was the minister of carcasses (carcai?).

relaxedninja.bsky.social•222 days ago

The worm can be Secretary of RFK's Interior.

golightly.bsky.social•222 days ago

😂

sbeen.bsky.social•222 days ago

[Correction: an earlier version of this article suggested Kennedy indicated he once "ate a guy". The article has been updated to correctly state that Kennedy offered "to eat a guy" in order to secure the position. We regret the error.]

goodbones.bsky.social•222 days ago

I believe this is the discussed appointment.

cfk1.bsky.social•222 days ago

Not to be an RFK Jr apologist but he apparently confuses "falconry" with acting like a falcon -- killing and eating prey, chowing down on carrion (road killed bears), etc. Eating a guy clearly falls within these guidelines.

falcc.bsky.social•222 days ago

RFK just hanging around the white house, stuffing corpses in all the fridges. Yeah I'd pay to see it.

thx4sharingjerk.bsky.social•222 days ago

Sure, we’ll let you know if the Secretary of Eating Roadkill Bears job opens up, lunatic

wildernewyear.bsky.social•222 days ago

Kennedy as Secretary of Falconry would be a major coup, as the position seems to be guaranteed to Great Khan Pritzker, matter of horse, falcon, and bow.

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