I have something similar, but instead of a jar, it's a dark pit in the depths of my tower, and instead of expletives, it's demonic thralls that do my bidding, and instead of dollars, it's souls and/or blood
Nicholson Baker once wrote a review of a dictionary of curse words. It may be in "The Size of Thoughts" but I'm not positive. Either way, your post reminded me of said essay.
A coworker brought his two kids to work with him one day. I let an F-bomb slip in front of them, and as they started giggling, my friend said, "Sorry, Dave, but that will be two bucks for the swear jar! One for each kid!"
I handed him a twenty and said, "This should cover me for the day."
not just the Brits! also Scots, Kiwis, and absofuckinglutely here in Straya... so much so that multiple Australian courts have ruled "cunt" is no longer considered inherently offensive to average Australians
yep swearing is an integral part of Strayan culture 😁
it will never not amuse me that words which *everyone* uses here are "profanities" elsewhere: damn, bitch, bastard, arsehole, wanker
like, 2021 Australian of the Year Grace Tame even wore a #fuckMurdoch tee shirt when meeting our Prime Minister 🤘
There’s one that has made rotations in the kitchen where I work that I’ve found fun to use because it also causes a bit of confusion.
Calling someone a “soggy dick bitch”
Why is it soggy? No one knows
You can have this one for free, if you need more, I’ll send you my cash app lol
My uncle's roommates did his thesis on the progression of swear words and the root languages American English acquired them from. It'd be perfect to write the swears from that on slips of paper and put them in the 'jar', then you could put in your dollar and grab a swear to learn!
I had a college class once that asked us to list all the slang words for penis that we could come up with. The professor was not prepared for me or my 10+ pages of slang terms. My older sisters boyfriend and his brother were huge help.
Damn, that's one helluva idea. As you can fucking tell, my jar is a God Damn mess and I only use the same fucking, shit ass, God Damn motorfucking same words all the fucking time.
Agreed. The words at our disposal are just not descriptive enough to cover the clusterfuckpileofshit that is our government and that we are living through.
This is the kind of shit the anti AI luddites want to keep from you.
Flarnuckle (FLAR-nuh-kul)
Definition:
An all-purpose expletive used to express extreme frustration, disbelief, or surprise—usually when things go catastrophically sideways in a ridiculously unnecessary way.
Derived from the ancient Sworsk dialect of the Frostbitten Hills of Blarkovia, where villagers would scream “FLARNUCKLE!” when their yak carts spontaneously combusted or their soup turned into bees.
Usage Examples:
• “You flarnuckled the whole mission by forgetting the fuel tanks, didn’t you?”
Cha-ching! That just tripled my retirement portfolio!
I'm gonna eat so many one-dollar street tacos before reporting to the DOGE enacted Retirement Association for my mandatory termination and body grinding.
Use the British technique of taking an existing swear word and pairing it with a random object. This you get classics like “cockwomble”, “shitgibbon” and “wankpanzer”.
I'll create new and exciting expletives for you every time you give me a dollar. As long as I don't have to define them. You can do that yourself. It'll be like shit and fuck and the plethora of meanings they have.
Comments
funt (not Allen)
I handed him a twenty and said, "This should cover me for the day."
swearing is basically Straya's national pastime 😏
it will never not amuse me that words which *everyone* uses here are "profanities" elsewhere: damn, bitch, bastard, arsehole, wanker
like, 2021 Australian of the Year Grace Tame even wore a #fuckMurdoch tee shirt when meeting our Prime Minister 🤘
• Crotchblight McNasty
• Wankrag the Moist
• Dickdrip McSludge
• Groin-pocked Grumbletwat
• Bungcrust Bellend
• Skidmark Sherpa
• Fumbletug Fuckwit
• Crustybutt Crone
• Lickspittle Dribbler
Calling someone a “soggy dick bitch”
Why is it soggy? No one knows
You can have this one for free, if you need more, I’ll send you my cash app lol
I still laugh.
Flarnuckle (FLAR-nuh-kul)
Definition:
An all-purpose expletive used to express extreme frustration, disbelief, or surprise—usually when things go catastrophically sideways in a ridiculously unnecessary way.
Usage Examples:
• “You flarnuckled the whole mission by forgetting the fuel tanks, didn’t you?”
His job taught him the gift of swearing, coming up with new phrases of swearing and coming up with new combos of swearing
Consider: az isten lova baszd meg! Harsh, good mouthfeel. A++
That will be 13 dollars.
I'm gonna eat so many one-dollar street tacos before reporting to the DOGE enacted Retirement Association for my mandatory termination and body grinding.
Thanks!
Swear dispenser.
swearing is basically compulsory here, as are neologisms
#Strayans are your people for this 😏
How do I set up Venmo?
British Slang. Vulgar
Definition:
a) the glans penis.
b)a stupid, ridiculous, or annoying person, especially a man
You’re welcome 😉 🙏🏽🙏🏽🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦
https://metro.co.uk/2021/04/07/the-thick-of-it-swearing-armando-iannucci-was-asked-to-tone-it-down-14370695/amp/
Is a personal fav, use if you choose, free of charge.
it means we have a mission, let's goooo! like it's too fucking hot to contemplate the ridiculous or impossible e.g. trying to fuck a spider
hey cunt, another beer?
'ken oath mate, I'm not here to fuck spiders!