In loo of regional UK phrases, here are five euphemisms for going to the toilet that I've come across from around the world...
Go make a quick call to Paris (Finland)
Go visit the dwarves (Lithuania)
Go play chess with the Pope (Iceland)
Go visit Uncle Ho (Vietnam)
Go to see Nicolas Cage (Mexico)
Not sure what Nicolas Cage did to Mexico to merit that 😂 Though love the idea of playing chess with the Pope. Think we all can guess what’s happened when you hear someone exclaim “check mate” through the bathroom door. 🤭
I have no idea if this one is regional or an original coinage, but I once did myself a mischief laughing when my mate announced he was 'off to park a bog otter'.
My favourite Spanish phrase is... Me cago en la leche. You say it when you make a mistake or have an accident... Literally means " I've just shit in the milk"
We were in a park with some friends a few years ago when their kid decided to poop in the bushes and then tell his dad he'd done so. Thenceforth in our house we, "go to meet Henry in the bush"
We never used this expression at home.
The first time I heard the expression (from a great-aunt), when I was very young, I thought she was literally suggesting a trip to the sweet shop to make a small purchase!
Denmark (specifically for a pee): "Going to pour out the water from the potatoes". More generally though I don't think this one is uniquely Danish: "Visiting the small house".
In Edinburgh, in a pub before a 6Nations match, guy in my company (who lived there) said he was “off to the grunter to do a Superman”. The grunter bit I got, but “Superman” threw me, so I asked when he came back - the blithe response was that “there was no lock on the door” - almost choked laughing
I was about to post that one... been over on this side of the pond a couple of years now (via Jack Whitehall, I think!). Slightly more specific than just a general visit, I think! 😁
"I'm going to cut the tail out of the monkey",
"I'm going to put the kids in the pool",
"I'm going off to paint the porcelain", and other similar ones.
My dad (northern German) likes to say „Ich geh nem lütten Mann die große Welt zeigen“ („lütten“ being regional dialect for „kleinen“), meaning “I‘m off to show the big world to a wee man”.
There’s a German one I really love, wohin der Kaiser geht zu fuss (where the emperor goes on foot).
A classic French one is : où tu ne peux pas aller pour moi (where you can’t go on my behalf)
In Hebrew, one could say "I'm going to Asher Yatzar", referencing the post toilet Jewish blessing (asher Yatzar - "who has created" , as in bless you god our lord who has created man etc.)
In Catalan we say «anar a can Felip» ”go to Philip's” (a reference to Philip V of Spain, the king who abolished the Catalan Constitutions after the War of Succession) or «anar a veure el senyor Roca» ”go meet Mr. Roca” (Roca is a famous trademark of toilets). 🚾🚽
A bloke one from Australia that I only ever heard used for the purpose of being amusingly offensive with your mates was "I'm gonna go siphon the python"
I was mentally correcting it your "in loo" to "in lieu"..... good one!
I hate people calling it a "restroom" or a "bathroom".
Loo is perfectly correct (from "Gardez l'eau" when the pisspots were thrown out of the window in medieval times).
The most commonly cited reason for our use of the word loo is that it comes from the cry of "gardyloo!". This, in turn, comes from the French term "regardez l'eau", which translates literally as "watch out for the water."
Comments
Go make a quick call to Paris (Finland)
Go visit the dwarves (Lithuania)
Go play chess with the Pope (Iceland)
Go visit Uncle Ho (Vietnam)
Go to see Nicolas Cage (Mexico)
Go knit a brown jumper (Netherlands)
Sending a sausage to the seaside.
My kids introduced ‘I’m off to do some paperwork’.
Vg 👏
Usually only in reference to a number one.
Go send a fax.
Go paint the porcelain.
Go talk to Barroso.
(Barroso is a surname but it would also mean someone with the characteristics of clay.)
The ones I remember are:
I'm going to sign, (voy a echar una firma)
Going to my little tree, (voy a mi arbolito)
Going to see Chicago, (vy a ver Chicago)
We never used this expression at home.
The first time I heard the expression (from a great-aunt), when I was very young, I thought she was literally suggesting a trip to the sweet shop to make a small purchase!
Goin' fur a single fish.
🥾🥾
“Dropping the kids off at the pool.”
"I'm going to cut the tail out of the monkey",
"I'm going to put the kids in the pool",
"I'm going off to paint the porcelain", and other similar ones.
Heard among British soldiers.
A classic French one is : où tu ne peux pas aller pour moi (where you can’t go on my behalf)
( and we go to [same] in manx :) )
https://bsky.app/profile/euphemissed.bsky.social/post/3lieajmkvy22g
"Do you want to go and see George?" - mother to small child, overheard many years ago.
Last encountered in the wild around 1991
I hate people calling it a "restroom" or a "bathroom".
Loo is perfectly correct (from "Gardez l'eau" when the pisspots were thrown out of the window in medieval times).