But also I would def respond with "thanks mate, you're right! But just so you know tranny is a slur and most people won't like it. I say trans people instead"
THIS. I used to work in customer service for a major porn company that (at the time) was adamant about not allowing “tranny” in comments - the system would flag it, and automatically remove the comment. Men would write in asking why their comments weren’t showing up…
And the amount of them that were sincerely apologetic and just ignorant about knowing it was a derogatory term was mind-boggling and strangely sweet??! 😂
My mom always had her heart in the right place. We had to have a "talk" about terminology and how certain words are now considered disrespectful and she was just all cool thanks got it!
Eh. This kind of thing is part of why I just reclaim it and don't treat it like a slur. This, the value of forcing a cis concern troll to out themselves over indignation at MY using what's considered a slur for us, and the entertainment value of my reacting neutrally to bigots using it.
Ok. I didn't call that specific thing reclaiming, I said that reclaiming helps with that specific thing. Did you know that we invented that word ourselves to refer to our community, and it was stolen?
I have older friends who support trans rights while using that term. I politely let them know it's not in vogue. They often take that with appreciation.
baby steps. lets just be thankful for the support until we're on more sturdy footing. People get pissy when you start telling them what theyre saying is problematic. Ideally, yes id love to have a rational, sane, mindful conversation about vocabulary with these folks, but... like i said. Baby steps.
Kenneth is the type of fella that comes to his own conclusions out in the wild with other human beings and doesn't spend all day long getting steamed over propaganda
This is why I genuinely don't give a shit about slurs. Tone policing and concern trolling is way worse than something that I can use as the gay and trans equivalents of "our words."
Comedian Patton Oswalt has a whole bit about this that I still quote to this day. I'd take well meaning but ignorant over dickheads that try to use the correct language to devalue the LGBTQ community.
There's an excellent Paton Oswalt bit from Talking for Clapping where he monologues about politically correct 'sneaky' word-users who are awful bigots but package it ""correctly"" versus people who have none of the appropriate language but also zero hate in their hearts.
It’s a good remember that people can use crude and offensive language but say good things and people can say abhorrent things wrapped in a veneer of civility and polities, and The latter is always a worse and more dangerous person
I can't disagree. If nothing else, I imagine it's much easier to nudge someone like this away from the slur than it is to nudge the 'polite centrist' away from a fundamentally flawed worldview.
100% and if they learn being accepting of others means being policed themselves instead of finding compassion where they are they are less likely to open up.
I’ve said this many times before: In a public bathroom, I’m more concerned with people who don’t flush or wash their hands than whether other people are trans.
Question for Katy (and any trans followers, would appreciate input):
Which do you think is more wrong/unfair between JKR being a billionaire, or her input on trans issues?
I think being a billionaire while many in the country, and many more elsewhere struggle.
they aren’t really separate things, are they? the ruling class trends conservative bc maintaining the social status quo safeguards their position of power. and being a billionaire means she can do that much more damage as a transphobe, using her power to influence politics to suit her views.
Billionaires need someone for us to be angry about so we don't get angry with them for fleecing us. It's no coincidence in my mind this "gender critical" stuff has overlaped our living costs going up and them all cashing in
I think this kind of assumption that lives are lived in this linear fashion where one thing happens and then another thing happens and so on is the core challenge here.
In reality lots of stuff happens all at the same time. You can't unwind one thread without getting tangled in the other.
I was talking over dm to a trans friend some years ago and used the word "transwoman". She said, I know you didn't intend it but that term is used by terfs. You need to use "trans woman". Reflecting on it, it seemed pretty obvious but I didn't know. Anyway, I learned
There was that video a while ago from a dude in his truck talking about trans people. Proper gruff redneck looking guy. Was 100% spot on with his attitude, slightly off with his use of language.
Notions of liberty and the freedom to be yourself. Right wing stuff really.
i feel like it'd be easier to correct someone on what word to use than asking them to change their entire worldview about trans people. at least he's got the spirit?
no yeah unironically, these kinds of folks literally just do not know any better, that's the only word they know. that's what's worth just a "hey, thanks, that's a slur tho just letting u know". my hometown was full of exactly these types of folks, usually older, but they're great
:) warms my heart.... one of my most treasured early transition (first 3 months) memories was when my voice started dropping *while* conducting for a ladies' church choir (they asked for the help!), and when i tried and failed to match a pitch they RUSHED me to the piano going "let us hear!!!!!"
honestly, before I saw the name kenneth (given that the post is clearly talking about trans women), I just kinda assumed it was a trans woman saying this
nobody throws the word tranny around like a tranny
Sadly, I am of the generation for whom the term primarily means "transistor radio", which once led to me leaving my kids open-mouthed when I made a reference to having to carry one around with me to listen to music back in the day! 🤣
hell yeah i'm giving this guy a checkmark on the t-slur privledge quest requirements next he has to give more than 500$ to a "help me not be homeless/recover from a hate crime" gofundme and drill a hole into the motor coolant path of a cybertruck.
specifically motor coolant because "the gearbox melts into slag and the thing siezes in place never to move again" presents significantly less danger to innocent bystanders than the battery coolant path which could explode the car.
Betting he's over 45, likely over 50. We forget there are still entire generations that came of age where that wasn't yet a slur, and unless you're connected to the situation or online discourse you wouldn't get educated on the change.
I had to explain this exact word to my dad because he knew queer people who self-identified with the term when he was younger. He was bewildered by it being considered a slur.
There's a Dana Gould routine about having friends in Boston whose opinion on lgbt people was "I don't give a fuck what queers do". Which sounds bigoted but actually meant "let them get married, let them go to the bathroom, I don't give a fuck"
It's usually pretty easy to tell the difference between the "let them be what's the big deal" and "I care a lot about being sheltered from their existence" modes of "I don't give a fuck"
When I came out in middle school in Boston, everyone but one person was fine with it. My bully stood up and yelled, "Who fucking cares if she's a [f-slur]? Quit being a fuckin' queer."
It's been over 20 years and I'm still cackling about it.
Literally it was fantastic. My bully still was my bully, still a piece of shit to me. But was ready to knock teeth out if someone was homophobic to me and would yell about the hundreds of reasons to hate me for that I could change and choose not to.
i came to this principle thru chatting with straight cis men on dating apps and needing to not lose my mind
also its something i use if someone genuinely slips up and misgenders or deadnames me, to try to stop a "OMG I AM SO SORRY I STG I AM SORRY U R VALID" train before it leaves the station
There was a comedian who pointed this out once its always the well spoken ones that are the bad guys. The ones who are like "well I am just asking questions but I believe we should explore the possibility of a white ethno state to alleviate racial tensions." THATS THE BAD GUY.
Are u kidding lol someone using a slur (probably just because they don't know it is one) is nothing compared to someone trying to make it illegal for you to live your life.
literally.
Id take that deal any day.
Call me whatever fucking slur or insult you want, call me a troon for all i care. Just stop false-flagging us as pedophiles and stop infringing our human rights. I can handle having my feelings hurt, i just dont want to deal with cops whenever i need to piss ffs
Comments
Good opinions, bad language.
https://Pslweb.org pink pistols and solidarity comrades
You're one the money here again Katy.
If I even heard ANYONE say that I would look at them like this:
It's good.
that includes every bewilderingly terfy trans woman out there who seem to put radfem-ism first and trans-ness second
Even the trans ones.
Which do you think is more wrong/unfair between JKR being a billionaire, or her input on trans issues?
I think being a billionaire while many in the country, and many more elsewhere struggle.
In reality lots of stuff happens all at the same time. You can't unwind one thread without getting tangled in the other.
The fact that she's a billionaire is why we care about her stupid opinions.
Notions of liberty and the freedom to be yourself. Right wing stuff really.
https://youtu.be/AkKo1_RP_0c
absolutely lovely woman, believed in equal rights for everyone from the bottom of her heart and hated conservatives.
nobody throws the word tranny around like a tranny
but yeah this dude's good with me
I got a lift in a friend's transit van a few months ago and was like "yo dawg I heard you liked trannies so I put a tranny in your tranny"
honestly, maybe my finest moment
Wait! That came out wrong. 🤔
It's been over 20 years and I'm still cackling about it.
but id also urge him not to use it so frivolously
seems like a cool guy
i dont really care if a dude is gonna call me a slur if he understands i still get the same rights as him and expresses it.
also its something i use if someone genuinely slips up and misgenders or deadnames me, to try to stop a "OMG I AM SO SORRY I STG I AM SORRY U R VALID" train before it leaves the station
https://www.trueachievements.com/a60786/maloof-tranny-monster-achievement
Id take that deal any day.
Call me whatever fucking slur or insult you want, call me a troon for all i care. Just stop false-flagging us as pedophiles and stop infringing our human rights. I can handle having my feelings hurt, i just dont want to deal with cops whenever i need to piss ffs