The Onion got hacked on Twitter today for the first time since the Syrian Electronic Army hacked us in 2013. This time they're selling crypto, which as you all know we love. Crypto is great. I love it. We love it. Twitter is also great. So is Donald J. Trump and Elon Musk, who is normal-shaped. - ThreadSky

bencollins.bsky.social • 117 days ago

The Onion got hacked on Twitter today for the first time since the Syrian Electronic Army hacked us in 2013. This time they're selling crypto, which as you all know we love. Crypto is great. I love it. We love it. Twitter is also great. So is Donald J. Trump and Elon Musk, who is normal-shaped.

Comments

tessao.bsky.social•116 days ago

And not at all of Oompa Loompa descent( no birth right citizenship)

rubewalker.bsky.social•117 days ago

Elon is shaped like Kesha when she was shaped like Brian Dennehy.

wearelegion2025.bsky.social•117 days ago

A normal-shaped guy who does normal stuff!!

bartislatfass.bsky.social•117 days ago

Better.

mhartford.bsky.social•117 days ago

Ooo, a deep cut from the Salò mix tape ...

marksrq1971.bsky.social•108 days ago

Fascist pick-me girl Elon getting jiggy at the Nuremberg rally.

twose7en.bsky.social•117 days ago

Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!

streamthevote.bsky.social•117 days ago

CRYPTO 💪💪💪💪💪

cpfraser.bsky.social•116 days ago

Oh no, Tim!!

atinyweneebebe.bsky.social•116 days ago

feedmass.com•117 days ago

hope u got it back easy. when's the new infowars channel gona be moving forwards? didn't Onion buy it?

I would love to see the look on AlexJones face if that channel was used to expose him & his mates .. 🙏

yogibean.bsky.social•116 days ago

Uh huh. And the sky is black and the ocean is purple...that is if Trump tells you it is

nlfar.neocities.org•116 days ago

if i ask nicely can i have the credentials i have a really funny post

bencollins.bsky.social•117 days ago

The hackers are still in there and we're trying to fix it, btw, but everybody is just going home. We have 11 million followers on there and have learned through our analytics that ~19 living people still use that website. We barely post there anymore and it's immaterial to The Onion as a business.

davidquinn.oideachasmedia.com•117 days ago

question
if you believe a crypto pitch do you deserve to keep your cash

courtjezter84.bsky.social•117 days ago

All 19 are just Elon using different sock puppets.

burriscommaben.bsky.social•117 days ago

is Elon the one that keeps replying with variants of "you're supposed to write satire not the news!" on every post

tartanskull.bsky.social•117 days ago

You mean Adrian *wink wink* 😆😆

joettek.bsky.social•117 days ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

mxp.bsky.social•117 days ago

The Onion is probably the most normal account on there these days.

bensmom33.bsky.social•117 days ago

So you're saying I shouldn't buy Crypto?

cigciglar.bsky.social•117 days ago

Are all 19 Nazis? I’ve been trying to figure out the percentage.

the-greetest.bsky.social•117 days ago

18 Nazis and one high roader who keeps insisting that if we're nice to Nazis, they'll stop being Nazis.

So yeah, 19 Nazis.

metaltxt.bsky.social•117 days ago

it's Onion Coin time

jbvta.bsky.social•117 days ago

Seriously. I don’t understand why everyone does not delete their Xwitter account and starve Elon

mylinuxrig.bsky.social•116 days ago

the majority of it is literally "BUT MY FOLLOWERS"

which is pretty much the most pathetic excuse anyone could possibly have

jbvta.bsky.social•116 days ago

Exactly. If you’re that important followers will follow you to Bluesky

Spoiler: They are not that important.

yodahead.bsky.social•117 days ago

Most of us have lost our password.

toekneeze.bsky.social•117 days ago

Then delete your account. Your old content still makes them ad rev through impressions.

derzquist.net•117 days ago

Change the account to look like InfoWars

nreveillee.bsky.social•117 days ago

😂🤣😅

turbulantjuice.bsky.social•116 days ago

Delete that shit poof

cockremover.bsky.social•117 days ago

yyyyyyyyyyyikes

akgrl33.bsky.social•117 days ago

So there’s no Onion Bitcoin?

☹️

lostscot.bsky.social•117 days ago

Bitconion

drosgood.bsky.social•117 days ago

As was the fashion at that time.

akgrl33.bsky.social•117 days ago

Fantastic.

gobigred.bsky.social•117 days ago

All my onions, gone

arkayne242.bsky.social•117 days ago

If they're making posts then it sounds like free labour and lolz? 🤷‍♂️

childlessgambino.bsky.social•117 days ago

The Onion: "idk whatever, some people have real problems"

inlaidaxis.bsky.social•117 days ago

Does this mean all the conion$ I just bought are worthless?

bnr-keynes.bsky.social•117 days ago

the onionest thing to do is just let the hackers have the account tbh

paulsrockinbluesky.bsky.social•117 days ago

unfortunately there's this whole "fraud" and "accountability to your audience" thing but i'm fully with you anyway

byarrum.bsky.social•117 days ago

That’s why I only read The Onion in print.

seanhecking.bsky.social•117 days ago

Ahh! Best of luck getting it resolved

elleirgab.bsky.social•117 days ago

the hackers blocked me btw. no pressure but is it okay if whoever's in charge to clean this mess up unblock me when they come into work tomorrow?

theamitie.bsky.social•117 days ago

lol

prog.bsky.social•117 days ago

cryptic

treziok.bsky.social•117 days ago

toddcorley.bsky.social•117 days ago

Another reason to leave the cesspool

edwoodk.bsky.social•117 days ago

What godless creature shits out such weird shaped turds?

michaelmccarthy92.bsky.social•117 days ago

Seems like another reason to leave Twitter, it simply isn't secure for big accounts anymore.

thunderowl.one•117 days ago

Danngendanng

darthslothful.bsky.social•116 days ago

Buy crypto now and buy Elon Musk!

hobobbin.bsky.social•117 days ago

Definitely not rotisserie chicken shaped

corbetto.bsky.social•117 days ago

normal-shaped 😆😆

jme71.bsky.social•116 days ago

Wake up! You’re having a nightmare!

zacbentz.com•117 days ago

good to know tim بصل

crazyeddie404.bsky.social•116 days ago

Wouldn't The Onion basically be the worst possible endorsement for a crypto token, tho?

gwall91.bsky.social•116 days ago

The sort of people who would buy this coin, would be unaware that the onion is satire. I remember someone blaming Biden for introducing the “humane head ripper offer capital punishment”

https://youtube.com/shorts/Iac-_NSh5ro?si=kEyc8Q4IN94eYGOn

chris-m64.bsky.social•117 days ago

Hahaha

aoxxi.bsky.social•116 days ago

There's a Russian arm up my ass and it's shaking my head in agreement. I did not vote for this...

ryanfrishkorn.com•117 days ago

You won my heart with normal-shaped.

k8delgado.bsky.social•116 days ago

Not a bot at all.

scaryfontofficial.bsky.social•117 days ago

An Adonis, post-microwave

newenglandblue.bsky.social•117 days ago

I absolutely love this. Lmfao 🤣
When I got to the end, I lost it.

jeffw.bsky.social•117 days ago

Спасибо за объяснение. Я не вижу здесь проблемы.

cb-2025.bsky.social•117 days ago

Hahahaha. Political hacks are the most fun. Right?

jbvta.bsky.social•117 days ago

Why doesn’t some hacker take down Xwitter?

mylinuxrig.bsky.social•116 days ago

man hackers used to be cool. now when they hack account, it isnt activism or a funny prank, its just a boring ass scams

hebelkins.bsky.social•117 days ago

Well they just stopped all investigations into Russian cyber crimes so…it tracks.
Bots have ballooned on numbers today on fb.

itsiriss.bsky.social•117 days ago

If the Onion recommends Crypto that means it's a sure fire investment 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
(They only offer the most finest financial advice)

birdlives.bsky.social•117 days ago

Donald Trump is literally better than Jesus Christ. Donald Trump is literally better than God. Amen 🙏🏻

hiide0us.bsky.social•116 days ago

Oh no oh fuck they got him!!

gingers624.bsky.social•117 days ago

Lolololzzzzzz

buckrawheat.bsky.social•117 days ago

Just two normal shaped men

eaos.bsky.social•117 days ago

How do you know Elon didn’t just do it

yippigirl.bsky.social•116 days ago

Pump and dump, my friend, pump and dump!

proggrrl.bsky.social•117 days ago

I like laughing better than crying during apocalyptic times

kikutowne.bsky.social•117 days ago

Yes. Oh so normal shaped. The most.

mathewforesta.bsky.social•117 days ago

God I just need crypto right-now gIvE It tO Me!!!!!!

entropy42.bsky.social•114 days ago

Crypto"currencies" threaten our democracy - social structures are eroding/social Darwinism is being promoted. The focus on individual profit undermines community values & social security. They are not stable currencies but rather unregulated, highly speculative assets #CryptoCult

amycapetta.bsky.social•117 days ago

"who is normal-shaped"

varshapai.bsky.social•117 days ago

Screenshot it?

sameraii.bsky.social•117 days ago

What a wild ride.

nreveillee.bsky.social•117 days ago

A statement in the style of The Onion satire. Trump is as lovable as a 💩 throwing orangutan. (This is not satire.)

cockremover.bsky.social•117 days ago

me? huge crypto fan. maybe im just built different (worse)

mlpqlm.bsky.social•117 days ago

So, not "normal-shaped"?

cockremover.bsky.social•117 days ago

demon shaped (dutch)

mlpqlm.bsky.social•117 days ago

Dutch? OK, next time tho I'll pay

(in crypto)

hillenjoyer.bsky.social•117 days ago

hoarding all that sweet dutch knowledge about drainage

cockremover.bsky.social•117 days ago

and blackface

coloradocitizen.bsky.social•116 days ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

08mms.bsky.social•117 days ago

What if they commit joke fraud though and steal all your funnies?

alt-dea.altgov.info•117 days ago

😆

antiquequaalude.bsky.social•117 days ago

I bet it was through a google calendar invite someone clicked on through their phone that then change's the devices permissions on the twitter app to allow for other apps to control it

https://www.dailydot.com/debug/crypto-scam-verified-x-accounts-google-calendar/

tartanskull.bsky.social•117 days ago

Onion Crypto sounds like some pretentious dish at a Michelin star restaurant.

futuredividends.bsky.social•117 days ago

ladycross.bsky.social•117 days ago

You made me laugh.

pieist.xenoplasm.com•117 days ago

That's the worst thing you could possibly say to The Onion. The Onion must be taken seriously.

leaf4ever.bsky.social•116 days ago

lol

craigrcarl.bsky.social•117 days ago

Normal-shaped but he is so tall, maybe seven foots.

dingranne.nafofellas.com•116 days ago

You had me going up until claiming Elmo is normal-shaped. That was just too much. 🤔

hollowmirth.bsky.social•117 days ago

I read “Sybian Electronic Army” at first. My brain is shattered

primarylupine.bsky.social•117 days ago

🫨

moose16.bsky.social•117 days ago

Hilarious!

b1gd1ll.bsky.social•117 days ago

Who is normal shaped...💀

caroleboren-2.bsky.social•117 days ago

Love this, it's brilliant 👏

medchem.bsky.social•117 days ago

Maybe better than the articles touting Yu Wan Mei residual fish consumables. It fish time!

medchem.bsky.social•117 days ago

https://theonion.com/american-consumer-masses-agree-it-fish-time-1819570899/

goaskalis.bsky.social•117 days ago

Trump take egghead

gritmonger.bsky.social•117 days ago

If Ubermensch, why 60s mannequin shaped?

goobsfuntimes.bsky.social•117 days ago

Are you ok? Blink once for yes and two for no!

farfnme.bsky.social•117 days ago

hoodiecraw.bsky.social•117 days ago

Hacked Onion IS a great ingridient in many stews...

susanada.bsky.social•116 days ago

Lol

sukitupbuttercup.bsky.social•116 days ago

Lol

Oh it's so good to laugh every now and then

Thank you.

sheepbop.bsky.social•117 days ago

Concerning

sheepbop.bsky.social•117 days ago

The Onion was still on Twitter?

davidgerard.co.uk•117 days ago

you have to go where the comedy is

patbou.bsky.social•117 days ago

Overheard

katerz1.bsky.social•117 days ago

😆🤣😆🤣😆🤣😆

jamesdankworth.bsky.social•117 days ago

The greatest Tim since Tim Apple.

bobbalycky.bsky.social•116 days ago

Normal adjacent.

unremembered80s.bsky.social•117 days ago

I would buy Anchowercoin and I bet a lot of dudes would

pragmaticowl.bsky.social•116 days ago

I actually believed Bartlett pears were designed to mimic Elon Musk’s body type

ammaclean.bsky.social•116 days ago

You spelled "Adolf Bitchtits" wrong.

emtoo.bsky.social•117 days ago

Looks like Elie Mystal's Twitter account was hacked as well to sell crypto.

alexsavard.bsky.social•117 days ago

Gimme my sweet Onion NFTs! Or a crypto for dyslexics based on a stableconion.

yelldebarge.bsky.social•117 days ago

So you’re telling me you didn’t endorse this new coin of Alf being back in pog form…

bartholomewk.bsky.social•117 days ago

I agree, Elon Musk is shaped normally and has a lot of sex.

viridiandragon.bsky.social•117 days ago

I can't disagree with that last part. Fourteen kids and counting!

jeanchimera.bsky.social•117 days ago

That was sex with cups. If you know what I mean and I know you do.

viridiandragon.bsky.social•117 days ago

Ok, that makes sense. I still can't figure out why so many women are still willing to have children with him. It's basically signing up to be a single parent AND you have to deal with Musk personally for probably the rest of your life.