The example that comes to my mind first isn't only people per se, but I often find myself in the absurd situation of explaining why I do something outside of the norm "because ecological responsibility is really important to me" -- as if that's weird?? As if it shouldn't be the default??
Yes. It's absolutely exhausting. So much of advocacy work is just begging people to care. And then figuring out practical alternative approaches to get things done when this strategy (almost inevitably) fails.
Yes, all the time. I just can’t really believe that others can behave like this. Is that naivety on my behalf? Maybe so, but I just don’t understand it. What gets to me is the growing number of people who completely lack any kind of human decency.
I told my step-father that the person he intended to vote for President would hurt my children and he said that didn't matter because he felt he would do better financially with his candidate. So, yeah.
After the 2016 election, a friend tried to comfort me as I expressed heartbreak over how many in a former faith community helped vote in an awful human being.
“Maybe it’s not ideology,” he said. “It’s likely economic self-interest.”
No. I understand that, I am tired too. What overwhelms me is how many people somehow have the energy, time and desire to actively hate and want to hurt people.
Like, you haven't got space in your life or your heart to help anyone but you can bang on ad nauseum about people you hate?
it seems to be a product of capitalism. inherent to the system is a lack of care for other people as long as “i got mine”. it fucking sucks. it’s soul-draining. it makes me wonder what is the point of even trying to bring about change.
I would, but having worked for Dems in districts that went for MAGAs, that’s not quite accurate. My experience is not that they don’t give a shit about others, but that they feel like leaders don’t give a shit about them. We need to do better at making it clear that we do to win them back. 😕
on the contrary, most people do give a shit, when they understand, and when they aren’t terrified the weight of understanding will crush them under compassion and fury if they for a moment let it in. this is why the task of the organizer is to enable understanding & social capacity for consciousness
Yeah. We gotta do what we can when we can with what we have. I may not have much to offer the world but the chickadees chase me down for seeds when i'm outside :)
It is disheartening though I try to remember that they were raised in a depraved, impoverishing society filled with artificial scarcity and hyper-individualism
I don’t even know if it’s the assholes who bother me the most, like the comment that has upset me the worst lately was my mother asking me why I cared about all this stuff because it doesn’t affect me. The apathy and indifference made it so much worse.
It is shocking to realize that your own parents don’t care, doesn’t it? Makes you wonder where you got your values from, doesn’t it? Thank goodness for peers and your own critical thinking.
All the time. Even with something as simple as driving and parking. People don’t care about other people or their property. It’s all about them. It’s pretty sad.
i feel you so much. like it can send me into a spiral. i want to believe so bad that people want to help others but it's hard when there's so much evidence to the contrary. i do take solace in knowing so many good people i interact with through here though. i've met some amazing people
I can’t reply to everyone, but I really appreciate the replies, whether to validate/commiserate with the feeling or to offer optimism/hope, so thank you
this is why I’m not that social
because I realised very very early on
that most people have a PURPOSE for
caring for others—and that really
really really couldn’t be unseen.
I’m constantly amazed by the convoluted ways people convince themselves that they’re not REALLY being callous assholes. It’s just an unfortunate byproduct of an otherwise totally rationalizable action they have no choice but to take.
…well, not NO choice. But a missed profit opp, so same-same.
Yeah. It makes good faith coordinated effort in the common good almost impossible. It's why covid is still with us. Why anthropogenic global warming won't be humanely fixed. Etc.
Our society has convinced itself that we can't give a shit about other people or else we would be hurting ourselves. This is precisely because the opposite is true
Yes. Because Mr. Roger’s and Sesame Street told me that I was supposed to care about other people. I thought that meant we would all care about one another.
More often I get overwhelmed by the sheer number of people who are actively malicious. People who want to see others suffer. I just don't understand it.
I would be at less risk of dying if people could wear a mask in medical facilities or really public places that I have to go to to live. Every day I'm reminded of it.
I told my new therapist that I want help coping with how horrible the world is, but I never want to lose the part of me that deeply cares, even though it feels like caring is what often leaves my mental health in shambles
All the fucking time. This indifference and selfishness is corrosive and we're all up to our necks in it. I don't know how to explain to people that other people actually exist and should be cared for/about.
Yes 😔 When I was young I used to think, ok, I don’t understand why so many things are so difficult or scary but there must be a good reason that adults understand. I kinda broke a little when I realized that wasn’t true.
Right now, it’s Tuesday, so I’m more overwhelmed by the number of people who refuse to learn how to think. But I feel as you do on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
I realised a while ago that most of humanity is functionally evil. Like maybe only 20% are truly hate filled and actively trying to make things worse. But there’s another 30-40% of people who are just selfish and don’t care what that 20% do if it benefits them.
They might make some noise about the bad things but they won’t actually do anything about it. “These minority groups will suffer a lot if I vote for this party…buuuutttt they might lower my taxes a little so…”
Sadly I was predispositied to think that way when I turned 18 and was going to college, my dad told me that people do NOT care about you and there's not much you can do to change that. Crushed my idealistic heart
I take solace in the notion that it's also influenced by living standards. When living paycheck to paycheck you're basically forced to only care about yourself, getting scammed or taken advantage of could be devastating. If you raise living standards people would have enough emotional space to care
Always. And watching my teen and young adult children encounter this too? Ugh. All I can say it’s nice when you do encounter some humanity. I wish the numbers were higher but grateful for the scraps.
Comments
I try to stay positive and focus on friends!
After the 2016 election, a friend tried to comfort me as I expressed heartbreak over how many in a former faith community helped vote in an awful human being.
“Maybe it’s not ideology,” he said. “It’s likely economic self-interest.”
The thought did not help.
Like, you haven't got space in your life or your heart to help anyone but you can bang on ad nauseum about people you hate?
I'm livid.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment
Waste of time to think about them; the world I want includes everyone, but that doesn't require their input.
A lot of people simply don't see how they and others are connected; I can work with that. Ignorance isn't necessarily always malice.
We have no solid basis for this, but we still prefer to think it.
i feel you so much. like it can send me into a spiral. i want to believe so bad that people want to help others but it's hard when there's so much evidence to the contrary. i do take solace in knowing so many good people i interact with through here though. i've met some amazing people
I can’t reply to everyone, but I really appreciate the replies, whether to validate/commiserate with the feeling or to offer optimism/hope, so thank you
Same, friend. I don't understand how some people seem to completely lack empathy. It just boggles my mind.
this is why I’m not that social
because I realised very very early on
that most people have a PURPOSE for
caring for others—and that really
really really couldn’t be unseen.
…well, not NO choice. But a missed profit opp, so same-same.
I was, apparently, wrong.
How can one explain that people, even ones you don't know personally, fundamentally matter and deserve to be cared for.
if you feel this way too then it helps to know i am not alone