Quan Martin is going to crush me and 99.9999999% of people on this planet within 2 seconds of me/us being teleported into Saquon's body in that moment. Guy runs a 4.46 40 and he's at most 10 yards away
I've been watching some Australian Open coverage, and I am increasingly convinced that I could probably sit in a lifeguard chair and yell 'FAULT!' at people.
Until technology eliminated the job, my career ambition was to be the guy at Wimbledon who sat with his finger on the net to detect let serves. I was almost completely sure that I was up to it.
My wife and I just spent far too much time thinking about this. I think the rats and the eagles. The rats will slow everyone down and the eagles can go for the face (there are 50 of them for god's sake).
favorite part of that is the very large number of men who thought they could take a goose in a fight and that it would be easy; as a DC area resident who is quite familiar with canada geese, they are not correct
You make a good point. Everyone should be required to take that quiz when they sign up. I suspect that tracking changes in the answers would be a good way to know when things were about to get worse.
Gotta love the self-awareness of football fans. When I hit 40 I decided one tackle from any NFL player would lay me out for at least a week and possibly put me in the hospital. I'm not about that life.
Whatever you think about Tom Brady, the fact that he was able to do this well into his 40s is incredible to me as someone who just passed through that achy, tired period of my life.
To me the word "could" suggests best result out of a thousand simulations, so maybe like 4 or 5.
What *would* most likely happen on any given attempt though... I probably run into my own blocker and drop the ball several yards behind the line of scrimmage.
Yeah Bolt’s peak speed was nuts. I was just comparing it to the average speed over the whole distance, which was like 23 mph for the 100 & 200. The 400 is around 20 mph.
It's the speed that's really separating these guys today and showing just how strong they are. You look at Verse and say 260 lb how does he push Mailata into Hurts with ease and it's like, uh same legs moving him 21mph also doing that shit
at peak fitness i could do 7 minute miles, which is decently quick. it also translates to 8.5 miles per hour, which is a sad joke compared to these people
One maybe two? This is assuming my lack of field vision as a non-pro means I didn’t even see the hole, so I’m probably running into a blocker’s backside.
I'd probably get to the 35, then 20 on the Commanders sees me, obliterates me, I fumble it, it gets returned for a TD, and I get taken out strapped down to a stretcher
zero. i would be launching that thing 30 yards in whatever direction i happened to be looking and they would call me the next tom brady with how quickly i did it
I'm guessing this same question on the old site would get a lot of replies from dudes claiming unironically that they can also throw a football over them mountains
I might make to the line before getting every bone in my body shattered before I hit the ground. But then I'm not one of those guys who thinks I could successfully fight a lion or a bear.
Anyone who's seen an elite athlete up close knows that they're not the same species as us regular humans.
If I go left of Mailata I could probably get just past him. If I go right of him I could probably get an extra half yard. I'm pretty certain I'll fumble the football as soon as I'm hit though.
I scramble right, green grass in front of me. My legs carry me forward toward a big gain. All the while I keep my eyes downfield, seeking an open receiver. Finally I find one and I throw a dart to a diving TE 20 yards downfield. I am flagged for an illegal forward pass, as I am 3 yards past the LOS.
I bounce off the first two tacklers, spinning towards the safety. I cut upfield and place him on the ground with an easy stiff-arm. I break away and backpedal my way into the endzone. Then I wake up in a local hospital, I was met 3 yards in the backfield and they returned my fumble for a TD.
I've run 10,000 simulations using advanced analytics and my body scan and the average yards gained is -7, but my medical settlement with Frankie Luvu is enough to put my kid through college
A couple yards, and then crushed and immediately announce my retirement. Like, from a crumpled heap on the field, just say "I'm taking my talents to the sofa."
I remember that video by @jonbois.bsky.social that asked the question "what if Barry Bonds didn't have a baseball bat" and the obvious premise is that people don't know he doesn't have a bat, but they just know he's Barry Bonds and therefore are likely to want to walk him
It’s not how many yards I could get it’s how many days in the hospital would I need after being tackled. Safest move is slide and hope to not tear an ACL from the turf monster. So … no gain.
bold to assume i don't fumble, but also bold that i am anywhere that close behind 81. 4 is coming around the corner to tackle me at the 28. maybe 29 if i'm lucky.
I’ve got 4 compressed discs in my back and neck. I’m getting as many yards as I need to in order to go down with an “injury” and get some of that sweet sweet NFL medical attention
I'm cutting outside to the "open" space. Since I didn't see Frankie Luvu there, I'm getting absolutely annihilated. He hits me so hard, that the refs have no other choice but to call targeting.
Maybe a good six yards before I get too excited, look behind me - smiling - before getting absolutely blasted by a linebacker that does indeed run faster than me.
Hoping for 1 but the sideline report would definitely sound like the one about Riley Leonard last night, which included the words “puking” and “stumbling.”
12. You wouldn’t know from looking at me but my short area burst is next level. Also squatting is my best lift, so I could be used in tush push situations.
I get the football. My heart is racing, the fans are cheering. I score a touchdown. My dad is in the stands nodding, smiling. I won his approval finally. My girlfriend rushes the field and I propose to her.
I wake up in my hospital bed. I was in a 10 year coma induced by the lineman who tackled me
I remember it being a thing that Shaun Alexander used to hold his breath before hitting a hole pre-2005 season and thinking about myself even trying to run through a hole this big and yeah it makes sense that Shaun would hold his breath.
Comments
(I’m taking a knee and then trying to take the football when I go home)
I'm scoring a point on Serena.
I'm cooking the perfect restaurant quality steak in my kitchen.
I'm taking this to the house.
Easy.
I think both
Just dont break your ankle when you try to kick a field goal with it
Blueskies and self depreciation over here!
If so, two yards.
Worst case: fumble immediately after contact and a week in the hospital
What *would* most likely happen on any given attempt though... I probably run into my own blocker and drop the ball several yards behind the line of scrimmage.
You're moving too fast
Frames can't catch you when
You're moving like that 🎵 - jack johnson
Anyone who's seen an elite athlete up close knows that they're not the same species as us regular humans.
2nd down."
Sure I'll lose, but I'll do it for cheap!
how many yards would you get HOWEVER the defense thinks you ARE Saquon Barkley
15 yard penalty. 1st down. Concussion protocol
Me, as my pants get darker: I read a book about disguising your scent in the wilderness one time
I wake up in my hospital bed. I was in a 10 year coma induced by the lineman who tackled me