elon musk is scheduled to throw out the first pitch at your favorite baseball team's opening day while wearing a t shirt from your favorite band in his ongoing effort to insert himself into and singularly ruin every aspect of your life
Comments
Log in with your Bluesky account to leave a comment
he will show you a meme that is a 7fps gif of the harlem shake with one of the "triggered" faces from every conservative meme badly superimposed onto all the people in the video and the caption will say THE HARLEM WOKE
Elon buys the Yankees just so he can spend an entire spring training on the active roster, doing late 90s roids are learning how to throw a single pitch.
Wait until he busts out the Afrikaans racial slurs. I grew up in the UK and there are a lot of Saffers there, what people here don’t grasp about them is that Afrikaans is their native language, English is not. This shit stain has a phd in racist shit so bad even the Klan would blush.
However as a Mets fan who’s had a lifetime of misery and finally seem to be entering a good period of the franchise, it would be fitting if Elon just offered cohen an irresponsible amount for the Mets and ruined it
That's fine, Pearl Jam would collectively curse him out at every show they do for the rest of time.
As well as some kind of finely drafted metaphorical response from Vedder.
I grew up fishing the area around Space X as a kid and then moved to Austin for school and now live and work here. Elon has haunted my life for the past decade in a way that's difficult to not take personally.
Elon Musk has put a Neuralink chip in your dog so he can use it like an intercom to shout “I’m rich, bitch” in the middle of the night. Here’s what you need to know:
Your band will, the guys on your baseball team? They’re making him honorary team captain for the day and celebrating every run scored by ‘throwing their heart’ out to the crowd.
I’m stood behind home plate, ready to record this bababooy-ass delivery, already imagining the likes and reskeets it’s going to get, I can see it making sportscenter with SVP doing a full breakdown of his pathetic technique… and he smokes one right down the pipe at 90mph.
Last night I dreamt Musk called my phone to complain about my skeets and grill me on my employer’s corporate governance, while hacking into my laptop to dump weird images. He called it a “meme rally” and was bragging about how owned I was. I am not even in the US
As the pitch rolls across the third base line a large banner will unfurl from the upper deck announcing Elon’s purchase of all the grandparents houses in the United States
I'll throw a curve ball, a screw ball, and even a slow ball just to fuck with him the first few rounds. Then switch around the order to screw him even further.
Comments
"It's the Harlem, Bronx and Queens Shake now. Epic"
Knowing this franchise, they'd offer him a contract as a rotational pitcher.
As well as some kind of finely drafted metaphorical response from Vedder.
That's a sport.