You were assigned to my team at a Zoom fundraiser trivia challenge during lockdown. We did not win. On a scale of 1-10, how angry were you with us? (It was delightful to meet you btw)
You should definitely listen to @michaelianblack.bsky.social’s Obscure season 2, when he covered it. We all slogged through together, and it felt good for our suffering to be validated in real time.
Do you ever plan on coming back to Buffalo? My wife and I had tickets to see you at Helium but you lost your voice the night before and couldn't perform. We'd love to see you again.
I just wanted to tell you that last week my mom said "I started watching this show on CNN... " and I knew immediately she was going to describe yours. She likes it. I encouraged her to continue. You are spanning generations, sir. Congrats!
What percentage of the 77M MFers that voted for this do you think are actually not insane (gleeful to worker firings, supporting of ignoring the judiciary, buying that we're not Russia's bitch, etc.)?
Can this level of stupid be saved? Btw loved how you fucking smoked Lawler on that show… masters class in handling these fuckers… you should be teaching at Carter or Medill…
We sat near each other on a flight from MSY to NYC in July, 2017. Had you been at Tales of the Cocktail? I can't imagine another reason to visit New Orleans in July...
I just imagine that after each show, it's just you, Amber, and Roy having a slumber party, giggling, and kicking your feet. Please confirm this for me.
After an American Tragedy is finished, do you think you might to do a follow up episode after letting yourself read about the background of the novel's creation on your research machine?
When you see another celebrity out, maybe one that you don’t know, do you say hi because you’re also a celebrity—like some kind off club? What if it’s somebody who’s more of a celebrity than you or less than you?
Will y'all keep bringing back Republican law makers on your show and dragging the fuck out of them for their hypocrisy? Please do so. They need to understand we are tired of their shit.
Same reason they do on the UK version. They love to be on TV. They think it'll make them look cool and relatable. They think they are smarter than you. They think they are funnier than you.
Am I consuming the cocaine with the snacks or do I have to choose between the three? Depending on the time, day of week, etc, I probably go for them in this order:
1. Chocolate covered pretzels
2. Cocaine
3. Chocolate covered raisins
I’ll hide the coke in a bottle of fentanyl to get past security, and I’ll hide the pretzels in a briefcase. I haven’t figured out how to hide the raisins, but I just think that - because they are chocolate - I should hide them in something, right?
If one is bored on a plane there's one sure fire means of entertainment. Occasionally shoot ones head or eyes out the windows as if your spotting some strange creature occasionally flew by that's grotesque looking🤣
I have 2 of your books out from the library - question: have you written about Stella's use of the dildo? I always wondered about that and why it has felt so unsettling.
You’ve landed by now but I wanted to tell you that I read your Substack every day and you always say exactly what is on my mind—but of course much funnier. Thank you 🙏 It helps me get through the day, truly.
Have your recent overseas adventures made you consider moving permanently abroad? The demise of our country combined with how the stress of it is affecting my health is making me seriously consider it.
There is a Viva Variety sketch where you were doing a commercial for some kind of candy. They asked you why it tastes like fish and you said "for some reason." Do you remember the name of that sketch? We used to quote that in high school and I was trying to find it on YouTube
Comments
Lying to animals that don't understand you anyway will always be funny to me.
Which of her nicknames do you fancy more?
A. Bert
B. Bob
#TeamBert
( re : have I got news for you )
Oh yeah, love the work you and everyone does on “Have I Got News For You.”
(I bet I can guess)
Let them think those things.
1. Do you plan on touring in the near future?
2. How hard is it not to laugh constantly when working with Amber Ruffin and Roy Wood Jr.?
(I adore your version of it because it also feels very specific too)
1. Chocolate covered pretzels
2. Cocaine
3. Chocolate covered raisins
Mars and plant that flag? And if he does, is oxygen a part of the equation?
It’s one of my favorite shows ever.
Even if it's one, that would make my day.
Where did you buy the shoes you were wearing?
Care to comment on some first rate gaslighting?
How nervous were you as you boarded your flight relative to this time last year?