Yes, Catturd is in the hospital with a bowel obstruction—again. Last time this happened, in 2022, Donald Trump had Catturd's tweet about having a bowel instruction printed out so he could sign it and mail it to him.
Dunno man, maybe seems ungrateful but could personally do without an autographed letter from one of my idols telling me to get well from horrific constipation.
Ian MacKaye does not particularly need to be thinking about my digestive system
can someone platform a conspiracy that catturd's lying about a bowel blockage to get another trump letter while he's in office? internet culture newsletter writers need content in these trying times
Really really want to imagine this because it means the weird poop joke obsessed man could not think of anything else to lie about having as a serious condition but another poop joke
Chronic opioid use can significantly increase the risk of developing severe constipation, which can progress to fecal impaction and potentially a bowel obstruction.
i'm not surprised by that, but rather the content of his bullshit and how marvelously stupid, cruel, and plain boring that dude manages to be all at once.
"Oh no, Big J, not again. The Archangel Michael had to stick his whole arm up that accursed man's butt last time. We still don't understand why he named himself after cat feces. This is not okay, we're going to call the Angels' Union."
In that case, candor compels me to admit I stole that joke from Futurama. Zoidberg is holding a colonoscopy camera and urges Fry he'll need to open his mouth, followed by the punchline.
That's the kind of job you send the rookies on, kind of like a hazing day.
> "So what do we get to do today, boss? Lead a lost puppy back to their owners? Guide a venerated old woman peacefully through her last hours on earth?"
>> "Even better!"
TBH it's probably a veteran angel on a prank call.
please stop trying to evade peoples filters. put his name in your post. that way if his name is blocked people wont see it. you might not be used to this but thats the culture here.
Considering what he looks like in real life I'm not surprised he's massively overweight he probably has alot of other health issues too I'd feel bad if he wasn't such a disgusting human being.
Huh I guess cat turd had a little too much celebration that led to constipation because we all know that Grindr was popping off during the inauguration
These people go from feeling on top of the world after keyboard-warring against “the left”, and then their abysmal diet of tasteless frozen meals literally hits them in the gut 😂 meanwhile I’m eating healthy Indian sabzi on the daily, no probs, staying woke
MAGA will implode, their Messiah does not intend to remember his empty promises and its just a matter of time when they see clearly that they have been screwed, that they have been played.
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it's crazy it's just like a jagged line with some lines added to it
Ian MacKaye does not particularly need to be thinking about my digestive system
even his name's a lie
ain't no turds passing out of that weirdo
Catturd: *opens mouth widely*
Michael: "Guess again!"
> "So what do we get to do today, boss? Lead a lost puppy back to their owners? Guide a venerated old woman peacefully through her last hours on earth?"
>> "Even better!"
TBH it's probably a veteran angel on a prank call.
#CatturdIsADogKiller
You’ve triggered catturd.
😂
on the side of bowel blockage
fascists: constipated to the point of hospitalisation
good.
*”his” meaning various chuds
People would be like "I always knew he was full of shit"
That's shit's metal
When the right is upset about the president they storm the capitol and kill people and are considered perfectly sane.
Who is delusional again?
Thanks, I’ll be here all week. Be sure to tip your servers and bartenders well.
https://arstechnica.com/health/2025/01/florida-man-eats-diet-of-butter-cheese-beef-cholesterol-oozes-from-his-body/