one of the most singularly terrible realizations in life is the day that you look around and go, wait, there’s no magical Adult Threshold that you cross where it all suddenly makes sense and you know how to budget and fold a fitted sheet
there’s just you, forever, except with fewer working joints
there’s just you, forever, except with fewer working joints
Reposted from
Is This Hell? 🏳️🌈
Adults are children faking it. Suddenly it all makes sense
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Not understanding these can lead to imprisonment and death, yet there is no curriculum for either.
"Oh those are cartoons for children" yes and let me embrace the part of me that is still a "child" after I finish my adult shift from my adult desk job where I figure out adult issues.
Everything else, the majority of adulting, is a toddler try to pick up an ice cube.
https://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2651
But, I suppose, it's good to know we're all staring into it together.
She gave me a calm look and said "I'm past 80. And I don't feel all that adult. So I don't think you need to stress about it."
Then you will end up with plenty of money when you’re too old to enjoy it.
It's a rotten feeling at any age
I never ever fold fitted sheets in my own home anymore. Clean sheets sit in clean laundry mountain til they're needed like any sane adult knows to do
"You ARE an adult!"
When he read Good Omens, my brother felt compelled to ask if I'd met either Gaiman or Pratchett, given the sentence "Wensleydale gave the impression of having been born with a mental age of 47."
B. I'm OLD and have never felt like an adult when it comes to things I've always thought adults should know or know how to do.
C. I've just reached a point at which I let whatever's going to happen play out. I feel powerless. And tired.
Of course, that does result in more time to stare into the void and wonder how we all got here and who exactly was supposed to sign *that* permission slip.
"Nevermind. I got it."
Like, "that boss isn't gonna last! He'll get fed up/disappointed and move on!" or "this new guy has too many red flags to "give a chance" to!"
And it doesn’t feel good at all.
Back 45 min later, the fella in the giant faucet takes off his head - huge red welt across his nose. The fan inside broke one of its housing points 5 min in & the fan repeatedly struck the bridge of his nose! 👃💥👃💥👃💥👃💥
it will be fine if someone takes charge and oh no I’m someone
I was silly enough to believe that it wasn't going to be forever.
you assume that someone somewhere will come take charge and fix things and then you slowly come to the realization that someone is you
What I refuse to do is accounting and HR reporting. I am no one’s supervisor.
This is why I considered taking a Warrant, and never considered taking a commission.
NCO... that was my happy place.
This is, deep down, why I became a safety professional. There were a few extra steps, but that’s the why.
I mean, I own a house and manage to hold down a job, but that’s about my limit. I still don’t consistently have a tidy bedroom and I’m prone to forget to go to bed. Speaking of which, I should do that now…
“oh my god I’m responsible for this tiny human now”
center -> baby: 2 hours
baby -> home: 8 hours
"just make sure he nurses every 2ish hours, and use your finger to check his heart beat and respiration every 4 hours"
Excuse me what
"but I don't know ANYTHING and this is a BABY"
(By the time the second one came along and started eating pillbugs in the yard I was like "eh, they're tiny crustaceans, it's protein.")
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-a2FR1iwqg
It's just that on a fitted sheet, the corners aren't along the hem.
In a house with multiple sizes of beds this also makes it easier to find the right sheets. Tiny roll is a twin, big pillow sized roll is king.
Sorry it is messy, some day I'll sit down and do a proper vector diagram.
I have absolutely zero problem folding fitted sheets by myself. But I've been folding them since I was ~12.
30 years of practice, baby!
Also maybe witchcraft.
So, kind of like a paper airplane.
Why not just fold a smaller and smaller rectangle?
(I have double sheets and once nested, it gets folded in half, then thirds & thirds again and it's almost the same size as my flat sheet)
I also needed them to hold their fold well enough to stack in various positions.
I fold each type of towel/sheet in a different way, so I can see at a glance what "stock" levels are even if things get moved.
Kinda like how I hide that I'm only *pretending* to adult.
My partner just went through a big health crisis that took two years of visiting different specialists and surgeons to find out what was wrong.
So much of dealing with them was navigating their extremely fragile egos. It definitely was a big factor in it taking two years for a diagnosis.
my husband and I called her “Doctor Baby”
My wife still “jokes” about that one
I have my adultier adult.
Would any of you at least like to do what I say and stop making things worse?
No on both, eh? Well, good thing adults can drink.”
So leading to another realization: swearing in church will not get you BBQ'd. At least by the ELCA.
I only learned how to fold a fitted sheet by watching YouTube. Still can't budget though
I refuse to ever accept this.
The can be wadded into a ball.
Wisdom instead of intelligence, etc
i hated laundry before basic training, being punished on the regular for not being OCD about laundry gave me permanent hatred for folding.
Past that I’m gonna do all the laundry to avoid folding it. Kinda like how the dishwasher magically never has clean dishes in if if I’m involved.
BUT IT CAN BE DONE.
but we have to watch the video anew every time
It's just using basic origami principles to turn an irregular shape into a regular one, then folding and locking it into a stable, small form that can be stored flat or on its side.
Next you'll be saying you don't know how to do hospital corners. *gasp*
Mind you, that did lead to me learning *other* aspects of adulting pretty early.
I don't know if my mother knows how to fold a fitted sheet herself.
https://www.theguardian.com/news/oliver-burkeman-s-blog/2014/may/21/everyone-is-totally-just-winging-it
to paraphrase Kipling, if you can do that in a crisis people will follow you into hell.
Why are you following *me*? Don't you know they sell hi-viz vest to *anyone*?
(I didn't give *good* orders, so I didn't usually do it, but they'd have followed my orders, too, if I had the FC hat on.)
I don’t even know what I mean. I need an adult.
the bad thing is, see above
Enough of those maybe approximates an adult?
But it’s something that, at best, you only approach asymptotically. With an emphasis on the “ass”
Her contempt for me is almost feline. 🤷♀️
got fuck all else figured out, but fitted sheets I can check off my list
Which is something I probably said to her one rough teenage crisis or another
(They warn on the back of the certificate not to tell anyone)
so beautiful. so life affirming.
I had assumed I would receive a manual
oh now I've collaborated on making a child
wait none of you know what you are doing either
well fuck me
the other people you assumed were adults are just like you
EVERYONE is winging it. NOBODY has their shit together. Everyone is faking it.
It made me feel a LOT better about myself.
Waking up to a new ache or pain, talking to the Doctor and them saying "That's normal for someone your age."
NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT THIS AHEAD OF TIME!
And that I could better pick out a battle worth fighting vs. one that wouldn't be.
And that after a certain point you can't win some arguments, you can only prolong them.
when you realise that everyone's just pretending, imposter syndrome kind of melts away
I can't be the imposter if everyone else is faking too
it's the best time to stop faking and start living
get more practice and learn more words.
nothing changes when you reach 16, 18, 21, 30....