I asked this once on the other side, but that thread is dead, so I’ll ask here: what’s a joke/gag you will continue to make despite having throughly run it into the ground?
me? any time we’re on the highway and see an RV towing a car, I will exclaim “geez, he’s really ridin’ that guy’s bumper!”
me? any time we’re on the highway and see an RV towing a car, I will exclaim “geez, he’s really ridin’ that guy’s bumper!”
Comments
Person 1: *sneezes*
Person 2: "Gesundheit."
Me: "Comes out soft."
and
'the dead centre of town'
“Daddy, question!”
“Answer!”
2)
Every time someone says “umbrella” I say “ella-ella”
"Wow, how many times a day does that happen!"
Five times today. I will never tire of this.
Admittedly, it’s a tough one to get into most conversations
*Courtesy of Dr George Rygold
Why?
For the halibut.
(Thank you, Mom)
“This [bench/sofa/car seat] is a real S.O.B. . . . [pat seat] Slide Over Baby”
*only the Mrs or someone I couldn’t be mistaken for actually hitting on and no one in between
Still hits
or
"he hurt his knee? hope he doesn't have kneemonia"
Son: I hurt my knee
Mom: Your Fan- knee???
Who's there?
Europe
One of them is gonna get it someday too.
You're kindred spirits
Me: It's hot and it's monotonous.
Thank You: Stephen Sondheim
It’s not even a good bit, it’s just an intrusive thought with race memory
Thanks, Mythbusters.
'He's only got little legs!'
"Daughter's name phone!... I don't think it can hear me."
Shrimp?!
Just one?!?
My father ran it into the ground and we kids dig it up and beat it to death some more.
It's called the mate joke.
Guy didn't like his cabin on irish ship.
Told to speak to first mate who wears white.
Sees guy in white ( the cook) and complains about cabin.
Groans all around....
But if I had to pick one… also on the highway, when they say “next exit 1 mile,” I have to say “wow, that’s a HUGE exit”
Don't want it down here
Then I laugh like it's hilarious.
“Hey!” and point urgently at the Hay
The whole car quickly wakes up and looks. And then groans.
"nice to meet you, I'm David"
EVERY time.
Dad: nice to meet you Serious, I’m Delilah!
"Okay, one, and time"
When someone says "excuse me" I respond "there is no excuse for you."
🌊🇺🇸🇺🇦🌈🟧🏞️💙
Here they're always round, because they have machines that roll them up and wrap them. They look like massive marshmallows. 😁
It's a UK thing!
Ouch, it was an iron bar.
more than i thought
"Mum! It's November! Time to put the veg on for Christmas!"
Nice belt.
‘What for?’
‘No, just one’
I go “No I’ll let ‘em go barefoot”
I've got a lot of bird jokes, actually.
🎵"Non! Rien de rien. Non. Je n'egrette rien!"🎵
I'm sometimes asked if I want to walk!
me, in front of a clean plate: terrible
I will also use, when testing a new recipe that was a success: 'had to eat all the evidence'
Patient: “is this gonna hurt?”
Me: “nope. Not gonna hurt me one bit”
"do your socks have holes in them"
[kid says no]
"well how'd you get your feet in there then??"
kills every time, i'm legit proud of this one
no one has ever laughed
“END ROADWORK! END ROADWORK!”
Credited to my great-grandfather.
"I have an answer. I hope they match."
Then there’s “I like stationery stores bc the moving ones are hard to get into”.
Ty, I’m here all week.
Them: Witherspoon
Me: No, with a knife.
me: “say crack again”
them: “crack”
Me: "Hi Hungary! I'm Czechoslovakia!"
The country doesn't even exist any more, but I refuse to change the line, the world needs to stop changing
Me "HAY!"
Wife "WHAT?!"
Me *points*
COWS!!!!
Teen 1: How’d you get home.?
2. With Jenna. Didn’t Jenna tell ya?
3. You said genitalia.
Me, dad, new stepdad,spews food and dismisses dinner.
“Pardon me”
"True but I wouldn't want to paint it."
---
"How long have you lived here?"
"What time is it now?"
Me: no I brought my reusable hands
Me: are you sure? This might call for some Aqua five
All this time I’ve been going as high as aqua eleven and I didn’t see this right in front of me
Cashews.
Gesundheit.
ME: Did they find it?
Them: What? it was a routine exam.
ME: No, while they were up there did they find your head?
I'm not real popular at work.
"Please pin this to your son's chest. Or just to his shirt if that's too painful."
How many people do you think are dead in there?
All of them.
half-way
Me: "Who would leave a bear on London Road?"
Even when someone else is in the car...
Repeat ad nauseam with different food and place of cooking.
I will die for that joke
Me, exuberantly: "I'll be front!"
I laugh every time. Someday, someone will laugh with me.
Two scoops of baby and some root beer.
*Ahem* I'll see myself out.
"sure: that"
“Got em all cut”
“Hey, can ya help me out?”
‘Yeah, which way’d ya come in?’