I made the mistake of clicking on the author of the latest Bluesky whineathon and these columns rule lol - ThreadSky

n0rmalguy.bsky.social•99 days ago

🤔🤔🤔

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jon-k.bsky.social•99 days ago

lol this is more extended Onion promo isn't it

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mikeandfriends.bsky.social•99 days ago

I like to think the example in the gifts for teachers one is a giant iron bear trap or a Looney toons ahh stick of dynamite

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timmmeh.bsky.social•99 days ago

She's loving the attention.

TERF=Easy block

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nathanffurtado.bsky.social•99 days ago

She'll be talking to herself and in 2 weeks she'll be back on Twitter

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youkillmyfather.bsky.social•99 days ago

"What kind of vibe do you want the head shot for your thumbnail to give off?"

"Slightly disheveled DMV photoshoot"

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katcc.bsky.social•99 days ago

“Cut my own bangs and feeling self conscious but also defensive about it”

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drunkonposts.bsky.social•99 days ago

We need to study this person's mind as if it was a boneless creature that just crawled out of the ocean.

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warybear.bsky.social•99 days ago

See you’re already enjoying being exposed to different opinions

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younodonk.bsky.social•99 days ago

As if?

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hoovybaby.bsky.social•99 days ago

When TERF bangs you see
Shitty opinions they will be

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greaterhuff.bsky.social•99 days ago

British names are somehow less serious than British people

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thewesterhazys.bsky.social•99 days ago

Have to admit it, opinion columns like this are one area where AI really gets it.

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forevernever.bsky.social•99 days ago

Imagine writing a whole column on the threat of using the term "cisgender"

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victoriadecapua.bsky.social•97 days ago

Oh my god they're like a cartoon villain pop culture journalist

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ericmfox.bsky.social•99 days ago

“5 points to many: why I shouldn’t have to buckle up my 2 year old”

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bigth53.bsky.social•99 days ago

Phoebe Maltz Bovy sounds like something a sim would yell out

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mcmjolnir.bsky.social•99 days ago

Like it's from an Opinion Column version of the names from Fighting Baseball on the SNES

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jsuns22.bsky.social•99 days ago

Phoebe Dugnutt

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josephzucker.bsky.social•99 days ago

Teachers have had it too good for too long and I’m glad somebody is brave enough to say it

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ronnieblank.bsky.social•96 days ago

That is literally the most ignorant thing I've ever heard.

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jokingguy.bsky.social•99 days ago

"Since when are teachers not content with the simple beauty of a fresh apple? In this 40k word opinion column, I will get to the "core" of the problem with a profession plagued with activism and, somewhat contradictorily, "thin-skinned" workers.

In Marcus Aurelius' foundational 'Meditations'......"

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vickimasterson.bsky.social•99 days ago

She’s basically a mommy blogger 🤷🏼‍♀️

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leftistvet.bsky.social•99 days ago

My beautiful object beckons to me.

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sugarazor.bsky.social•99 days ago

My "birds aren't real" is that opinion writers for major newspapers are actually a group of people recently donkey kicked in the head and the editorial page is a class that re-teaches them how to write.

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flauclaw.bsky.social•98 days ago

I'm stealing this shit

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stephenburtch.bsky.social•99 days ago

I would definitely say my teacher gifts haven't gone far enough.

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castronaut.bsky.social•99 days ago

This is the villain in a British kids movie.

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posigalactique.bsky.social•99 days ago

lmao

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warybear.bsky.social•99 days ago

Oh man the juxtaposition of “is buying teachers gifts too woke?” and “in defense of buying shitty gaudy gifts for myself” makes a stronger case for her article than anything she says in it.

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wagatwe.com•99 days ago

...defending little pieces of plastic?????

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itsnotbread.bsky.social•97 days ago

Someone has to do it.

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edwoodk.bsky.social•98 days ago

This author had a magical childhood.

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misty013.bsky.social•98 days ago

The plastics...
https://youtu.be/MnCbTTTi7ic?si=TWeCehmzaL0B87dY

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nowarbutclasswar.bsky.social•99 days ago

I just give my kids the Bag O' Glass

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alanmiller.site•99 days ago

the Invisible Pedestrian costume is safe though, it says right on the package "not for blind kids"

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carlygoodman.bsky.social•99 days ago

Did a piece of microplastic in everyone’s testicles write this

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sonicboomsse.bsky.social•99 days ago

Now I’m just imagining the microplastics in our blood controlling us like we’re robotic meat suits

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itsnotbread.bsky.social•97 days ago

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writingdcm.bsky.social•99 days ago

What are you against Little Plastic or something?? 😂

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wagatwe.com•99 days ago

😂😂

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swamplizard.bsky.social•99 days ago

For a second, I thought she had some other opinion besides being weird about genders, but she saved it in the second paragraph.

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thewesterhazys.bsky.social•99 days ago

These folks are just in a constant battle with phantoms of their own creation.

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ourobororoboruo.bsky.social•99 days ago

Read on its own, the graf could be part of an interesting critique of parent-generated-content, but I’m going to guess that she doesn’t do the interesting thing and does something that should’ve stayed in “drafts"

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swamplizard.bsky.social•99 days ago

It’s not even that. I skimmed, and it’s just saying random things about toys through a vaguely grumpy filter that seems to be very online/assume that people only do good things for lame reasons. But the throughline of the article seemed kind of all over the place. Here’s a sample of the range lol

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grhoda.bsky.social•98 days ago

wow that's boring writing

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sctadsen.bsky.social•97 days ago

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swamplizard.bsky.social•99 days ago

Also, there’s whatever this is

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ourobororoboruo.bsky.social•99 days ago

lol she must not get why people used to not be out about being gay

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rlheppner.bsky.social•97 days ago

Ah yes, “here’s my book about a topic that I genuinely DGAF about.” What a compelling pitch.

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wagatwe.com•99 days ago

wtfffffff

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swamplizard.bsky.social•99 days ago

Too many people becoming opinion columnists, not enough people remembering to log off every now and then

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ratherodd.bsky.social•99 days ago

The worst people are willing to write articles for free just to see them published.

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blametag.bsky.social•99 days ago

I can't imagine her writing this without seeing her chuckling and thinking about how clever she is.

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afroscribble.bsky.social•99 days ago

Who is she shadowboxing???

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swamplizard.bsky.social•99 days ago

Someone once annoyed her on instagram and she considered it evidence of a grave societal ill, as one does

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samuelbass.bsky.social•97 days ago

She’s really giving it the old Maltz Bovy, by which I mean writing columns of whiny culture war self victimization.

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joemag.games•99 days ago

Yeah real shocker that she’s not finding this place a barrel of laughs

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goddammitsarah.bsky.social•99 days ago

this person is weaving their own clown world

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twinarcher.bsky.social•97 days ago

wild that Op-Ed writers are just a professional class of devil’s advocates

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amutepiggy.bsky.social•97 days ago

sick of eat pray cancel culture

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brendelbored.bsky.social•99 days ago

I’m just gonna suggest one

“Eggo my Legos: why choking hazard labels have made children weak”

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theunorthodox.bsky.social•99 days ago

Surviving childhood is woke

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michaeltoole.bsky.social•99 days ago

Real “I say, let ‘em crash” from Airplane energy.

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btnstu.bsky.social•99 days ago

"In defence of asbestos: nature's fireproof miracle."

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librarianjenne.bsky.social•98 days ago

In defense of lead: it makes nursery paint sooo smoooth

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btnstu.bsky.social•98 days ago

😄👍

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emmaadella.bsky.social•99 days ago

Don’t you take my plastic away and also how dare you over gift an underpaid over worked teacher.

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glengirl.bsky.social•99 days ago

Ha, I just made a list called people to avoid and added her to it. The function works!

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misty013.bsky.social•98 days ago

https://youtu.be/MnCbTTTi7ic?si=TWeCehmzaL0B87dY

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sara00fantastic.bsky.social•99 days ago

This thread has some real banger replies, and I didn’t see one person get called a pedo. Proof we’re in the better place now

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greatlaxit.bsky.social•99 days ago

Canadian columnists are only slightly less psychotic than their British counterparts, and never met a war they didn’t bloodthirstily bay for.

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avgeekv1.bsky.social•99 days ago

equal parts Megan McArdle and Adrian Chiles

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aolgrandpa.bsky.social•99 days ago

I think the world is divided less along ideological lines than just some people enjoy being miserable, hateful shits and the rest of us are like huh?

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proggrrl.bsky.social•97 days ago

in defense of tiny bits of plastic?

is this real, or am I nightmaring right now?

🤦🏻‍♀️🪳

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asta77.bsky.social•97 days ago

Hey, if parents can't succeed in teaching their toddlers self-control and the Heimlich, that's on them.

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heymickie42.bsky.social•98 days ago

I was convinced those were from the Onion

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oh-my-aching-hands.bsky.social•99 days ago

she’ll never be adrian chiles

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sheepy.gay•97 days ago

is that the berries and creme dude

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dopestatistics.bsky.social•96 days ago

"in defense of tiny plastic toys"

Does she have children because I have a hard time imagining a parent writing that lmao

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nothinkyjustvibey.bsky.social•96 days ago

"Who wrote this? Big Choking?"

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countnathrakh.bsky.social•98 days ago

Maltz, jol yIchu!

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steven-dans.bsky.social•98 days ago

she should have less opinions

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perfectorb.bsky.social•99 days ago

She seems like a real gem

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jerndough.bsky.social•99 days ago

This is a Wes Anderson character brought to life and you can’t convince me otherwise

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carlygoodman.bsky.social•99 days ago

So heterodox lol

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theycallmebruce.bsky.social•99 days ago

"have gifts for teachers gone too far" hey quick question what the fuck are you talking about

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davidrvetter.bsky.social•97 days ago

We've found the Canadian Adrian Chiles.

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rickywlmsbong.bsky.social•97 days ago

wario adrian chiles

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sadatay.bsky.social•97 days ago

white women love to be named phoebe maltz bovy

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scotian.bsky.social•99 days ago

dollars to donuts this one was about the cybertruck

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afroscribble.bsky.social•99 days ago

This girl so damn tedious 😮‍💨

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grantlorrell.bsky.social•98 days ago

In fairness, that person also wrote a book length tantrum over the term "privilege". This kind of whinging is obviously central to her entire professional existence.

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sobchakw.bsky.social•99 days ago

Phoebe maltz bovy

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truelyesoteric.bsky.social•99 days ago

Toy will be toys...she's special

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innerpartisan.bsky.social•99 days ago

WHO READS THIS SHIT?

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dmodmodmo.com•99 days ago

oh my god thank you for this

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mikepipper.bsky.social•99 days ago

The very picture of sadness

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xarthras.bsky.social•99 days ago

These headlines give off strong "thinks cheese is a spice" vibes.

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noyou.bsky.social•97 days ago

"The Road To Recovery, or Life After My Ayn Rand Impersonation Business"

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gwensnyder.bsky.social•99 days ago

HAVE GIFTS FOR TEACHERS GONE TOO FAR

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saritaylosdinos.bsky.social•97 days ago

They're not required

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gwensnyder.bsky.social•97 days ago

I am making fun of the headline, lol

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saritaylosdinos.bsky.social•97 days ago

Ignore me idk what I'm doing here or in life 😂

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gwensnyder.bsky.social•97 days ago

Relatable

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shaner38.bsky.social•99 days ago

Well, have they, Gwen?

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retrovertigo.bsky.social•99 days ago

Without reading past the headlines I imagine she writes like the blob from I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream

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kevinmkruse.bsky.social•97 days ago

“Phoebe Maltz Bevoy” sounds like a lesser character in a Wes Anderson film

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squee127.bsky.social•96 days ago

My brain first read that as Phoebe Matzo Ball

Not sure if that means I need more coffee or more alcohol

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methodnull.bsky.social•96 days ago

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vgcatano.bsky.social•97 days ago

It’s the real name of Social Services in Moonrise Kingdom

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bindlestiff.bsky.social•98 days ago

Same. Amazing.

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imacanadianinusa.bsky.social•97 days ago

Another byline for her

"Have you ever farted so loud it cracked your back. Do we really need chiropractors"

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heytheredilaudid.bsky.social•99 days ago

“The real cost of your lunch break”

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jasonjdelaney.bsky.social•98 days ago

i didn't know the waluigi voice was a genre of writing but here we are

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miltqllamaiii.bsky.social•99 days ago

Does she have two different headshots? Am I crazy?

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mac-b5.stickimporters.com•99 days ago

The collars differ. There's at least two different head shots. :)

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eringloriaryan.bsky.social•98 days ago

i'd listen to this lady's podcast "wrong about everything"

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skizelo.bsky.social•98 days ago

have gifts for teachers gone too far?

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tamslick.bsky.social•99 days ago

That's certainly a vibe. 😂

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lochnessmomster.bsky.social•98 days ago

I do appreciate the consistency

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jrf314.bsky.social•99 days ago

Phoebe, dunking is discouraged on BlueSky but you are making it extremely difficult

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jrf314.bsky.social•98 days ago

Now that I think about I need people like her to make fun of

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acinixys.bsky.social•99 days ago

This chick writes like someone who smells like potpourri and wet dogs

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jerbivore.bsky.social•99 days ago

I cannot imagine wanting to be this person

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nomads.bsky.social•97 days ago

This is her book. Perhaps an alternate title could be “Why Nobody Can Be Mean to Me” https://www.amazon.com/Perils-Privilege-Injustice-Accusing-Advantage-ebook/dp/B01KTHYACW?ref_=ast_author_mpb

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thebennatan.bsky.social•99 days ago

British people love being named Phoebe Waltz Brovy

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historysock.bsky.social•99 days ago

She made a column about how no one dunks on people anymore and now everyone is dunking on her. Who said Bluesky doesn't have twitter's monkeypaw power.

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tamslick.bsky.social•99 days ago

You'd need a heart of stone to not get a chortle out of the author of the "There's no dunking on Bluesky" column getting savagely dunked on.

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novadam.bsky.social•99 days ago

it’s this kind of cosmic beauty that keeps me from full blown atheism

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kikodlm.bsky.social•97 days ago

Why should we default to the god explanation. Accept that we dont have all the answers and enjoy full atheism membership, with all its perks and privileges.

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thegodofcities.bsky.social•93 days ago

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novadam.bsky.social•99 days ago

“have gifts for teachers gone to far”

“are gratitude and kindness really ‘all that’”

“does abusing your child really make you a ‘bad’ parent”

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justostrich.com•99 days ago

Unfortunately the last one has been written a lot

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mikepipper.bsky.social•99 days ago

I was an 80s kid so I distinctly remember the "Do you know where your children are" ad campaigns.

https://youtu.be/gPR9bIl3VZw?si=b5cBb_IrwvPGjWaD

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pyslexicdharmacist.bsky.social•98 days ago

I would say "yes" and affectionately pat my stomach. Always got a good eyeroll from my dad.

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justostrich.com•99 days ago

And of course now they know where their children are at all times - but absolutely no clue _who_ they are.

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jeffabbott.bsky.social•98 days ago

i can only hope my wife, a teacher, receives the gift of THE COLLECTED ESSAYS OF PHOEBE MALTZ BOVY

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jpshipley.bsky.social•97 days ago

am I going crazy or does she have two very similar but very slightly different headshots

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writingdcm.bsky.social•99 days ago

Shes a magpie cosplaying as a journalist!

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notthatmagellan.bsky.social•99 days ago

funniest thing about "have gifts for teachers gone too far" is that based on when it was published i can only imagine the thought came over her while browsing the seasonal section of a Yankee Candle

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lady-ann7.bsky.social•99 days ago

"Have gifts for teachers gone too far?" honestly made me laugh like what???

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jeremymorong.bsky.social•97 days ago

That one got me as well. Also, is there a public way of giving the teacher's gifts that I don't know about that forces people to compare and contrast? We usually just send a card with a gift card with the kids...

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butpawwwlll.bsky.social•98 days ago

That one made me yell as I was scrolling during a conference call which could have been an email.

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baseballfrank.bsky.social•99 days ago

Eat, Pray, Cancel is my new mantra

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nickkerker.com•97 days ago

The Sisterhood of the Travelling Block List

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tubapeter.bsky.social•99 days ago

There's a spaghetti western movie with the great title of TODAY WE KILL, TOMORROW WE DIE.

I bet the BlueSky hive could workshop something like TODAY WE EAT AND PRAY, TOMORROW WE CANCEL

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