ohhhhh I hope he’s curled in the fetal position, crying on the floor of the forgotten intern’s bathroom in the WH basement. The one that smells like feet.
it really should be one of the points bc no wonder he's such a miserable ass. idk where my phone is for more than half an hour multiple times a day, highly recommend this
He's too busy trying to cut his overdriven heartbeat rate from the shock of not being able to buy his way in, paired with his ketamine abuse and excessive insomnia.
Maybe all the millions of dollars Musk just flushed down the crapper on his FAILED scheme to get his own personal MAGA SC judge installed to excuse all the Tesla law suits against him kinda stings a little?😈
richest man on earth doesn't even have a job. Fuck what am I doing with my life working healthcare stopping people from dying and making their lives more comfortable and healthy?
Imagining the alt timeline where he wasn't kicked out of the 09 bay area babyfur community and he maybe wasn't so fash
Lowtax's ghost whispering into his ear like Grima Wormtongue as he cries. If he succeeds, while the whole world is celebrating, we'll briefly see his smiling, spectral form like Anankin Skywalker, having earned a measure of redemption.
I hope his version of hell is just living in the Groverhaus forever, and every time he goes out the door he just enters again but it’s been made a little bit worse.
Some of you aren’t as old and internet poisoned as I am, so here’s a little internet history lesson to explain why I’m wishing Elon a very happy sausage stream: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Kyanka
Have a hard time believing that, even someone as drugged-up as him has to sleep sometimes (though he is probably addicted enough to schedule tweets to go up while he sleeps, come to think of it)
The real funny thing about this, and it is funny because I just hurt my nose snorting at it, is it’s the funnest fucken joke Musk’s ever made. You did it Elon retiiiire nooow…
21 minutes sounds insane but with him, it's impossible to disbelieve that he has that hard of a time disconnecting. I could see him scheduling tweets while he is doing interviews or speeches just to try to stay relevant as the top draw for his shitty social media network.
THIS thread made my whole day thanks for the comments y’all. Ooyyy that Elon…. Never knows when to stop bothering people in communities he isn’t a part of….
Comments
Nobody likes an asshole.
ꓯSꓵ
deep cut
(writing from Wisconsin)
Boo kept me sleeping.
Imagining the alt timeline where he wasn't kicked out of the 09 bay area babyfur community and he maybe wasn't so fash
/o \ > _-' `--__
/ o o \ _-' `--__
/ o o o \ `--O----------O-----'
`---------'
cheeseheads > cybermusks
Lowtax... Lowtax...
*My voice rises*
Lowtax... Lowtax...
*I project from my diaphragm*
Lowtax. Lowtax.
*shouting now*
Lowtax! Lowtax!
*My voice crescendos, uplifted my many others like Goku perfoming a Spirit Bomb*
LOWTAX! LOWTAX!
🎶 "Punched him in the face and banged his mom." 🎶
No
Not if he is like Trump
“alright you’re a shit manager”
For like 3 years he only stopped tweeting from 4-5am to 8am.
He's a stim guy.
SPEED RUN
👏 👏 👏👏👏
Same happened with the Original Deus Ex too lol
#ElonBreaksAllHisToys
One, people hate him, and he can't spin his way out of this one
Two, he broke the law and is now going to have to actually face the consequences
Three, his slash and burn style isn't popular
Fucking dork couldn't even buy a state election
Musk is weird in ways beyond what Walz was thinking.
Why didn't they let him hurt himself?
Like, usually I would say there's a moral obligation to prevent that, but there's so many opportunities.
Forward outbound calls to the suicide prevention hotline to that restaurant that insults you when you order and leave an extension cord out.
TAX
SPEED
RUN
LOW
TAX
SPEED
RUN
👏👏👏
👍🎉💥