BREAKING: White House sources report an old Ork Codex was slipped into the President's Daily Briefing and he is now exploring the possibility of ending the dollar entirely in favor of a teeth based economy
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several economists queried by this reporter called this plan, "potentially workable" and "significantly better than other policies pushed by this administration"
Economic advisor Kaptin Badrukk is quoted as saying "Deez humiez need an currency wat is solid, and nuthin iz az solid as ork teef. Kan't evun kill a grot wat wif dat pansy paper loot!"
Citadel stopped producing "Go Fasta Red" years ago. It's said that the formula was locked away in the Black Library, guarded by greatest Harlequins to have ever existed.
The trouble with a teeth-based economy for us, though, is that every human only produces a small, finite number of teeth regardless of their lifespan, while Orks continuously produce new teeth throughout their lives, limited only by their tendency to die to sword, bolter or vehicular misadventure
As you're one of the few journalists who I still trust to tell the truth, I will assume is so.
In fairness, my bedroom floor also looks like this, and that may be colouring my world view...
It might work, but whats to stop Elon Musk from remaining the richest person in the world by claiming the baby teeth of all his children as part of his investment portfolio?
Not gonna go well with all the adepts of the machine-god in Silicon Valley, as they believe the flesh is weak, and most of the teeth used for the economy still has flesh bits attached to them.
Tbh I see no downsides to a volatile currency that has a limited lifespan.
You'll be naturally limited by what you get a month and I think necessities would be cheaper. Someone smarter than me tell me how bad it is
Jesse Walters announces “If you use paper money, you can’t be a real man”. He then proceeded to extract his right incisor using a tetanus-covered pliers.
I just like to imagine what everyone who has no clue what Warhammer is try to figure out this one. What is going through their heads while trying to figure out why this protester seems obsessed with warhammers of all things... 😅
"I have the most sparkling, and most overall teeth. The best, most sparkling, I mean klan white, not like those other guys. Little yellow teeth, you look at their teeth and say 'are those even teeth'"
What will MAGA use for money then? They didn't keep their first set of baby teeth or their second set of baby teeth. Their third set just doesn't want to grow in.
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Yellow makes them splode bigga
(Except, now that I think about it, he never would actually see anything in the President’s Daily Briefing.)
In fairness, my bedroom floor also looks like this, and that may be colouring my world view...
trump doesn't read or attend his daily briefing.
Why are we asking these questions when there are more important things to ask… Like is the band “CAKE” in fact Ska?
👊🏻🇺🇸🔥 🤦🏼♀️
The problem is he will read an IG Codex eventually
Admirable optimism. 🥂
Pretty sure the book of Hitler's speeches on his bedside table is just for looks too.
You'll be naturally limited by what you get a month and I think necessities would be cheaper. Someone smarter than me tell me how bad it is
I hate this timeline SOOOO much.
GRAH 🔻-55.3 -10%
DKK 🔻-15.7 -3%
Even a minor reduction in Dakka is considered wholely unacceptable.
(In case it's too niche more than one Bourbon had an extra row of teeth, like sharks in powdered wigs)
New hotness: MAGA hatters have "the WAAAAGH!" and Trump is the most bigga warboss.
I guess it'll work if they just believe hard enough.
Yet..."
Because that sounds just as likely, and might involve teeth too.
Unified trade and take all.
teeth
Teeth
TEETH