While a hammer of the month subscription actually sounds good, maybe a screwdriver bit of the month would be even better. Especially if it’s tailored for if you need metric or you keep losing that damn torx-bit to remove the aircleaner box on your Volkswagen.
Dude I have to drag my husband away from the flashlights at Costco. “But honey this one has 100,000 lumens!!” So do 3 others you have at home and you still use your phone in the dark so
What in earth is a “bacon wallet”? Is it a breakfast sandwich? 🤣 Such a gift wouldn’t last long under the tree, methinks, because it would be eaten asap… visualize greasy Christmas wrapping 😋
Every gift list for a woman is: 1) Body warming item, 2) weak “gin o’clock” joke printed on something, 3) superficially pretty looking trinket that’s too cheap to not look like shit when it arrives.
gifts for Mom: blender attachments that say "wine" on them, socks with battery powered heaters, bathrobe made of fake flannel, romance book club, variety pack of 6 lotions that smell like chemicals
There is nothing better than a hammer buffet, when I go mining I bring a minimum of five hammers and if the mine has hammers you can borrow I’m basically that Chris Pratt from parks and rec gif, bring on the hammer subscription please
red light, green light, flash modes, a UI FFS, different battery types including ones you cannot get at a local shop, lenses, waterproof to XX metres and also gets so hot you can fry bacon on it...
As a Dad I can tell you every single one of those sound *amazing*. Especially the socks that are also a knife. You could get me dozens of those because I’ll need a large stash for re-gifting to random dudes when the opportunity pops up
and it’s often preceded by a “my wife used to give me shitty gifts until she got me this” and then they do a bunch of big man manly things with their new gift.
Sadly, my dad does not drink that mutch, does not eat mutch meat and is not a really handy man. We wore out all the wine cheese music gifts and now we dont know what to give AT ALL
Good smelling soap. At worst, he will probably use it, and then it’s used up and you can buy him a different smell of soap until he tells you he likes one
my grandfather got nothing but some kind of exotic smelly Spanish soap -- soap-on-a-rope, when that was a thing -- for the last 5, at least, years of his life for every father's day and Christmas. It had fancy flamenco ladies on the packaging and I always wondered if that was really the appeal.
Sword. We don't currently need a sword and yet we also do. I personally have a Scottish basket hilt long sword. It's sits in my closet quietly whispering "freeeedoommmm ..." to me.
"yeah I'm calling to complain about the hammer subscription, January through March have all been tack hammers and now it's April and I just got a croquet mallet. I dunno who's-- hello?"
To prevent further landfill you could wrap up an empty Quality Street tub? But label it Allen Key Caddy first in case the recipient thinks it's sweets.
Looks like a corollary of "Rule 34 of the Internet": If you can think of it, there's a ridiculous manly-man, "military" version of it out there somewhere.
"Give a man a bacon wallet and he'll eat for a day. Arm him with a stabby sock and bury him in wild boars and he'll probably never speak to you again."
There's so much wisdom woven in those timeless words that you can smell it.
I was thinking, “If the necktie doubles as a mini putter for desk golf… I’m in!” but… pssh, of course it can. Especially after a few bacon whiskeys! Why would they make it otherwise?
It isn't the best gift, but a little oil makes a big difference to a scruffy beard.
And if you use it, you will eventually run out (in contrast to a watch, for example)
What if you could go to the hammer library and check out a ball peen hammer or a sledge hammer for a few weeks and return it when you were done using it?
Chicago has a really cool tool library and you can do this, but also you can borrow a circle saw and a sewing machine. https://www.chicagotoollibrary.org/
Some places actually do this ! There was a self-service one for the residents of my former building. Borrow a tool for one or two weeks, write your name and the tool on the list, return the tool in good condition later.
That worked bizarrely well.
They can't come around here promising us 32 types of hammer then show us 18. That's unacceptable. Are 14 types of hammer purely conceptual? Hammers that can't exist or even be depicted?
I had a small sledgehammer, but then my mom AND my uncle both moved, and now I have two more big sledge hammers. Plus a rubber hammer and a "regular" hammer in the garage and a small hammer for hanging pictures in the house so I don't have to walk out to the garage every time I need one.
I used to say “dumb as a sack of hammers”, so my wife made a fancy drawstring bag and got a bunch of hammers from used tool place for Christmas one year. Sweet present!
Yep. I got scoffed at by a Lowe’s employee once for asking about different hammers. I would love to get and learn about more hammers without some dude trying to “out man” me.
keep a crowbar hooked over the headboard. a crowbar has more reach than a hammer & has more mass so it not only delivers more hp damage, but it's also less likely that the challenger can roll for defense
There are SO many kinds of hammers though, and they each have a use. Planishing, finishing, chasing, ball peen, cross peen, finishing, lump, bell, round, geologist's, mason's, up sledge, blacksmith's, ferrier's, bull, slab, jeweler's, splitting,and even more
I like the round/bell hammers personally. They're great for letter carving in stone. They balance allows for nice, precise taps. As a bonus it doesn't hurt nearly as much when you hit your thumb.
Bonus fun fact, the scientific name for apples "malus" is where we get "mallet"
Things that have the word 'Tactical' added to their name so you can pretend you're a mercenary about to head to Burkina Faso with your Tactical Neck Support Pillow (Bluetooth enabled).
Don't forget the RFID blocker wallet. A hammer subscription is a good idea for various types, but as far as claw hammers go, everyone has their personal favorite. Your dad already owns his favorite hammer. Mine is at least 40 years old with a wood handle.
Is the bacon wallet a container that allows you to fold and carry your bacon, or is it a wallet for carrying credit cards and money, but made from bacon?
Also I think the hammer subscription isn’t a new hammer every month, but a hammer that has a DRM license that allows you to only use it with a single brand of nails, and requires you to pay a monthly fee to use it.
If someone manages to find me a general cookbook (so not just camping recipes or one specific cuisine) in 'pocket' format (3x5 inches, maybe half an inch thick) I'd be happy.
They make recipe books but a cookbook in that size would be neat.
If you don't get your dad the hammer subscription you're a terrible daughter. A peening hammer is very different from a flatter and it's important to have both.
Comments
"you can't touch this..."
I have so, so many screwdriver bits accumulated over a couple of decades, and never the one I need.
Socket gnomes
Coincidence?
So you might be able to check out esoteric tools for free through the power of taxes and community services
Also check if you have a local makerspace if your library doesn't offer that service
(Or close enough)
https://www.action.com/fr-fr/p/3207282/calendrier-de-l-avent-werckmann/
https://toolguyd.com/stahlwille-2024-advent-calendar-tool-set/
“Cost Plus Hammers *”
* Nails Not Included
this one simple trick keeps a dad busy all day
Ball peen, claw, sledge, brick. I could go on for like, 12 months, easy.
Prepper axes that also come with a supply of rapture food buckets.
And thanks!
...I might have a few headtorches *cough*
Usually with the words 'tactical' and 'don't look into it, you will blind yourself and your future sons for eternity' attached to it.
this whole thread is so wholesomely funny
Heart shaped necklace, lingerie, blowjob course
Combine it with a belt that is also a measuring tape..
🤷🏻♀️
How about a gift certificat to a Mexican restaurant that makes their taco shells out of bacon?
Oh, and I also need it to be virtually indestructible -- I have a 4yo.
"Ahem, may I suggest a 4.5mm, sir?"
[Scratches beard in deep thought] "Long arm?"
"Naturally."
I’d want McLaren & Ferrari options too tho
Second request: Anything Smartwool or any gor-tex wet and cold weather MTB kit.
I always hate the "dad gifts" articles because they act like every dad is an alcoholic wannabe crypto boy 🤦🏻
For some dads, aiming for quality time is a great gift.
Mine got me a 24 oz stainless steel Yeti Rambler mug with the magslide lid.
its beautiful... I can fit half a pot of coffee in the thing and it lasts all morning.
Its one of my most treasured possessions, I've never felt so seen.
You're a lucky dude for that.
GIMME A BACON WALLET! AAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!
"Give a man a bacon wallet and he'll eat for a day. Arm him with a stabby sock and bury him in wild boars and he'll probably never speak to you again."
There's so much wisdom woven in those timeless words that you can smell it.
Thanks Bluesky! 💙
And if you use it, you will eventually run out (in contrast to a watch, for example)
Source: It's me, the Lowesbian
*writes down business idea*
https://www.chicagotoollibrary.org/
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/london/london-thing-library-1.6345630
That worked bizarrely well.
I'd go that subscription
They can't come around here promising us 32 types of hammer then show us 18. That's unacceptable. Are 14 types of hammer purely conceptual? Hammers that can't exist or even be depicted?
I got my last new hammer like 5 years ago and it's already obsolete.
The trick is to be rich and buy the newest hammer, all the time.
Bonus fun fact, the scientific name for apples "malus" is where we get "mallet"
Some dads like fancy pens that can also turn into a walking stick
So just one Tuesday out of the blue you open your mailbox and “there’s the socket I so desperately needed!”
Do that, but call it “Jim Bob’s Toolbox” and every so often, send subscribers a bit of workshop paraphernalia.
A treasure trove!
Either way I want one
***He said looking confused***
They make recipe books but a cookbook in that size would be neat.
Like a Pocket Betty Crocker.
Someone please buy me these.
were wearing these.
A packet of tic-tacs would be quite noisy.
🔨
⌛️
I used to swing a hammer for a living. I was just being silly on the internet. 🙂
Hilarious.