"Even so it was her bathing suit that made her famous
It was almost heaven sent
Many times when it was drying on the line
A tourist would mistake it for a circus tent"
my mother wasn’t like you slatterns, with your v-necks and wonderbras. her tig ol bitties were crammed into the most painful, unflattering, pointy, godhonoring milk crates you’ve ever seen
Most people would consider themselves lucky to be known for one big thing, to have their reputation precede them. I'm proud to say that my mother was known for two big things, and believe me, they preceded her by a great deal, whatever room she walked into...
Those who knew her could see it immediately, and a lucky few...maybe a few more than she'd like to admit - sorry mom! - were able to feel for themselves as well...
[leans back in chair] Ah, your mother, God rest her soul, she had a balcony Juliet could have done her monologue from. Was the honor of my life to be the man she chose to share those rockin tits with.
Is it weirder to talk to your daughter about her mom's giant but hidden rack, or is it weirder to pay for an app that tattles to your son if you look at internet smut?
Look, maybe show a little respect, huh? Mother Jugs drew the black stone in the lottery this year and while nobody’s disputing the importance of the old ways these men are still processing their grief.
This is maybe the only ethical use of AI, creating imaginary grandparents to use as the standard insert for photo frames at hobby lobby. Absolutely refuse to believe those are real people
I call bullshit. Mamma cut her hair short. If we’re going to be all biblical and whatnot, women are supposed to have long hair. (1 Cor 11:15). Exposing her neck is the opposite of modest. /s
AND she dyed her hair (what there was of it) and wore makeup. What’s the Bible got to say about that eh? I bet her shirt has (gasp) blended fibers too!
"I sure miss your mother, and those two huge titties. I loved them...loved her too but I also loved those big ass titties. It looked like a dead heat at a zeppelin race, I tell ya. I remember the funeral director said he couldn't close the casket and had to lay her sideways."
Unfortunately no, the transformed wife is a foul, horrible person who’s espoused offensive and horrible opinions for years now. Sometimes it borders into funny territory, and other times it’s just downright shocking and infuriating
I have a similar-ish story. My great grandma had really big boobs, and she was called Grandma Jugs. But she had to have one removed due to cancer, and as a result became Grandma Jug.
Ok but the real question here is where did she find those high-necked bathing suits with sufficient big boob support? Although I have promised my giant sagging bosom to no man, I do share this one interest with this lady!
she’s been at it for years and is an actively harmful, hateful piece of shit but sometimes I do wonder if it was fetish shit that became her whole life
And a whole other level of narcissism. Suspect if he’s there, and as kind as they say he is, God gives less than one solitary shit about people’s breast exposure, and cares more about, oh I don’t know, women being forced to have their rapist’s babies, or dying from ectopic pregnancies. Perhaps.
If I came up with the female form, I’d be pissed that the first pancake kept covering it up all the time and making people feel weird about it. It’s spectacular.
It’s more than a little weird that this man is discussing his wife’s breasts in such way with his daughter.
"Russ Meyer himself offered to make my mother and her thundering pendulous fun bags a star in Hollywood, but the only man who ever got to motorboat them, which he of course did frequently, was my father. "
Dad: “say, did I ever tell you about-“
Lady: “moms enormous rack?”
Dad: “heh heh…”
Lady: “yeah dad. You did.”
Dad: “yeah. Heh… tig ol’ biddies” [nods off in EZ chair and dies]
Son: "What were they like, anyway? They look pretty good. Are they real? Are they built for speed or for comfort? What you do with 'em? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? You motorboatin' son of a bitch. You old sailor, you!"
I mean, the funny thing is that Lori and her mother didn’t get along (to the extent that Lori went on vacation while her mother was dying) and now she’s bringing up the weakest possible praise? saaaaaad
Modesty isn't only about clothing. I would go so far as to say that an even bigger part of being modest is NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR MOM'S BOOBS ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
Dad remember mom's tig ole bitties? Remember how she would cover her size D balcony busters? Remember how she saved her rocking bazoombies for just you?
Comments
The heavy neutralizer.
It was almost heaven sent
Many times when it was drying on the line
A tourist would mistake it for a circus tent"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1KKs3uVggI
“My mother may have had huge ol titties but she was a woman of god!”
I told her that made her an Amazon and she got mad at me.
somebody needs to get a life
cool talk
they’re not FOR you
You know, for research purposes!
🤣
Like what???
#Barb
Rejoice!
*Downs the remainder of a glass of bourbon, a single tear rolls down his cheek*
"They're clapping for the big man, now."
Whole world thinking ‘bout yer dead mom’s tiddies now, 10/10, no notes.
It’s more than a little weird that this man is discussing his wife’s breasts in such way with his daughter.
🤷🏽♀️
Lady: “moms enormous rack?”
Dad: “heh heh…”
Lady: “yeah dad. You did.”
Dad: “yeah. Heh… tig ol’ biddies” [nods off in EZ chair and dies]
The holy jugs.
#blessed
So it seems either oddly possessive, or trying to convince themselves too much?
The whole thing is a hot mess.
No red flags here at all.