I swear to Christ, the biggest problem on this hellsite is the fact that so many people are convinced that they are the only competent person in the room.
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I feel this so much. I sometimes ignore even good advice badly delivered. The only thing that compares for me is the horror of being labeled "expert" only by dint of a single uncommon lived experience, and unable to convince the person I don't have the One True Experience, merely a data point.
I miss the times I heard about in the past. War rooms of people working round the clock to fix a problem. Now we are all siloed with the internet acting as a hub.
"Let me be sad, even for a little while.
Just a chance to catch my breath.
Let me be sad, even for a little while
'cause it's all that I have left.
When all I see are the memories,
I don't want to lose a thing.
Let me be sad, let me be sad . . ."
Are there people who have jobs where this is NOT the default position of practically everyone they work with? I’m a lawyer and I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard extremely confident declarations of “law” from people who have no fucken idea what they are talking about…
One of my favorite lines from the TV show MASH, by Hawkeye to Dr. Winchester: "Charles, you don't need to tell me the incredibly obvious. The merely obvious will do."
My spouse told me years ago that I can come off condescending in my responses. It's not intentional, and I have tried to do better. I will certainly continue that journey. Because what's the point, if the message never gets through? Why talk in the first place?
DeviantArt managed for awhile because we could see each other’s work at a glance and know who was talking out of their ass, but that’s a pretty specialized niche.
“______ happened!”
“Next time, you should do Super Obvious Thing.”
My friends, I will let you in on a secret of the universe. If instead you say “Oh no, had you done Super Obvious Thing?” people get less pissed. The key there is ASKING not DECLARING.
A few months ago I cut my hand on a food processor blade. The first thing my co-worker said was "When it's time to get a new food processor, get one with a safety guard!" One of the least useful bits of advice I've ever got...
Some of them will still get pissed! This is not a panacea! But at the very least, people like me who genuinely try to believe the best of everyone will not be gritting their teeth and wishing you to perdition.
(This is sufficiently universal that at one point in my endless webcomic, someone calls the protagonist out on it. I would like to think we’ve learned since 2012, but…well…)
I feel like the dumbest people think they know every goddamm thing and only the smart people are secure enough in their own expertise to be happy to let other experts step up for their niches.
Oh no wait maybe it's just that I'm completely steeped in neurodivergent special interest culture. 🤦♀️🤣🤣🤣
Tangentially related; one time I had a crack in my counter & I researched how to repair it & it came down to cutting a dick-shaped piece out around the crack & gluing in an identical uncracked piece.
I asked if anyone on Craigslist could do this repair.
holy *crap* I blocked a lot of people in those replies. o___o I wonder how many of them are argument-starting reply-bots... when an actual human acts so much like a reply-bot, it's a lot harder to give them the benefit of the doubt >___<
There is a two player RPG called Pitcrawler with a mechanic called Thumbs, inspired by CYOA books, where a few times per adventure you can turn back to a previous decision and choose differently.
Also, everything is the fault of wizards who are very powerful and completely out of touch and...
Some who still get upset that way will respond ok to “I assume you thought of Super Obvious Thing, and it mustn’t have worked because you still have The Problem - what happened?”
They appreciate being told (truthfully or not) that you think them clever enough to have thought of Super Obvious Thing
I posted about being annoyed by my washing machine beeping at me. Two people popped into my mentions to say "you can turn those off!"
1) you didn't even ask what make of machine it was
2) if I could turn the bloody things off I'd have already done it and wouldn't be posting about it.
So true! So many people say the most obvious things (e.g., you should use "find & replace", or hire someone to do it) as if talking to a fool!
Though sarcasm-deficient cultures are an exception: When I joked about "eating children", Norwegian friends were horrified & told me "not to eat children"!
My fave is when you ask "friends, does a thing exist that fills ALL THREE of these necessary criteria? 1, 2, 3" and every last person pipes up to yell "I know something that fills one of these criteria! Here!"
Yes. And children's/MG rec threads in non kidlit spaces are exactly this to the power of ten. Today's kids are not vibing to Secret Seven, Alvin Maker, and the Amtrak Wars, Linda/Gary.
Or 0 of them. Once I asked for low-effort vegetable-heavy meals that will be appealing to eat as leftovers, and I had to block not one but TWO entire men who were personally offended that I knew I wasn't going to cook myself unseasoned steamed broccoli every night.
No web link, but I can summarise: roast onion, aubergine, sweet potato, sweet pepper.
Halfway through roasting, cook oil, spices diced onion, garlic in a pan for 5 minutes, add a can of tomato passata or chopped tomatoes and a can of drained chickpeas, Tabasco to taste.
I make this one a fair bit, and it does good as leftovers. Adding in more arugala, spinach, or peas can up the veg content as much as you want. The original recipe I have is for the slow cooker, but damned if I can find it now. https://www.easycheesyvegetarian.com/white-beans-goats-cheese/
I asked the local subreddit for anyone experienced with a specific roofer, as there weren't a lot of reviews online. 13 replies. One! mentioned the company I asked about, in a "I'm bound by confidentiality to tell you anything, are you picking up what I'm putting down?" kind of way.
For warm weather: ratatouille. The effort is in the chopping of the veggies (precision not necessary), hell, buy pre-chopped if you want. Everything else is just time and seasoning. One pan, and it freezes BEAUTIFULLY.
If your supermarket does a prepped veggies section, you can likely find at least half of what you need already prepped there. (Onions, peppers, green & yellow squash). So it would be eggplant. I have used canned diced tomatoes when making off season or to supple.ent fresh and it has worked fine.
I had great luck with roasting cauliflower (with other root veggies if you like) long enough that it loses a good bit of the moisture, then using that in place of noodles and making some variation of Mac & Cheese.
I do an entire cauliflower at a time
Some is for right away (yum)
And some can go into things or it's also great just on its own
Or as a side with takeout, so there's another veggie
Somehow this throwaway comment is more valuable than the original thread was. It was also like half side dishes by volume, who the hell makes side dishes when they're cooking for one
Pot beans? Onion/celery/bell pepper/any other veg. Tomatoes for their juice. Maybe greens. Sauté for a bit, then add beans and less stock than you would for soup. I add the beans dry—I rinse them first—so they soak up all the veg juice as they cook. Good as a meal or a side dish. 1/2
And you can make double and freeze half as single serving discs to store in a bag
Then microwave and eat as is
Or heat up then add more veggies to change it out
I'm such a soup girlie during the colder months, so my vitamin intake does rule during the winter, but once it gets consistently warmer I struggle to keep the enthusiasm for it up. Currently seeing what I can accomplish in the medium of hotdish
and also, no, they were like... sad middle-aged business types! One of them interpreted me saying "I know myself too well to think I'll ever make a salad when I'm craving takeout, I had so many salads growing up and got sick of them" as being "Gen Z Triggered By Salad Trauma" (I am not Gen Z)
Vegie lasagne can be low-ish spoon if you slowcook the vegies/sauce one day (or use jar & veg) then assemble it the next, and use jar bechamel or ricotta/parm to top. Not super low spoon though.
I have just discovered Aldi broccoli bake to add a vegetable to other food, on days I just can't.
I don't use a recipe, sorry! I just throw lentils (green lentils, red don't hold up to reheating well) in with onion, garlic, ginger, sweet potatoes, potatoes, spices, green beans, a big bag of baby spinach, stock, coconut milk, lime juice. Sometimes add chickpeas too. Serve with naan & yoghurt
every time i ask for recommendations for movies, books, etc, that aren’t horribly depressing, full of violence or abuse, or war, and the recos are like: war, war, loved one dies, drug dealers ruining their families, etc etc etc
In those cases I'm not sure if it's my effort spent choking back offensively strong variants of:
"not the question I asked"
or the audience's poor listening comprehension that crushes my hopes of a positive resolution.
It's not even hard to find angry music? What they should have been asking is what flavour of angry did you want, and is it acceptable if it's in German.
Oh no! Had you thought about not posting this? Some people view things differently than you do dear. Some people react to things differently than you do.
Take it for what they mean and how they mean it. Not how you feel it.
Saw a historian of disability ask yesterday for book recommendation for a specific niche and someone chimed in with Pubmed. Not a specific link, just PubMed.
One that my dad told me is to use "Some people find it's easier if you [x]" instead of "You're doing that wrong." Even if there's clearly a right way to do it. "Some people find it makes their bike more efficient if the tire arrows are pointing this way." Frame it as a lifehack, not a correction.
As for question marks, someone I know has taken to adding on some posts things as strong as "This post is to share an interesting observation. Advice and critique are not welcome. Yes, this means you -- even though you think you aren't offering advice."
When I'm playing a board game, and I think someone has not followed a rule, I ask not tell. Along these lines: "Shouldn't that cost $5?" This also helps cover me when (50-60% of the time, give or take) the answer is something like "My quarry gives me a discount".
i sometimes also go with “oh no, what happened when you tried Obvious Thing?” and then i usually get an answer about why obvious thing wasn’t a good play, which saves me from making that mistake myself
I had it beaten into me many years ago by a friend that if I didn't phrase something to make it VERY CLEAR that I knew she might've already considered whatever, then I'd be eviscerated. She didn't give me any grace on that, but I'm not saying I deserved any.
The most infuriating thing in the entire world is when I say I am having an issue, and some asshole (in particular, my ex) pops up with "do super obvious normal thing that any person with half a brain cell will have already done."
YES. Drives me up the wall too, when I'm on the receiving end. I hear you!
So I'm not perfect at it, but I try to sympathise first, and IF they seem like they want suggestions (sometimes I *ask* about that!) then I say, "I know you might've thought of this already..." or "Have you considered..."
One thing about this hell site is that everyone in the room is more competent than our current government administration.
Reject fascism!
Revolution is now!
🌊🇺🇸🇺🇦🌈🟧🌍💙
Hi! Smartest person alive and morally superior being here, I will proceed to insult you over calling bluesky hellsite (because another site being worse means bluesky is objectively perfect) and prove your point while sounding very smug about it
I read all the comments and came to this conclusion. I thought I'd be at the end as usual when more than one comment is posted but no, right here on top with no substance.
I'm not! Unless you're talking about computer storage programming, and a couple dozen people I know aren't in the room.
Say, would you like to talk about computer storage programming? The costs and benefits of various compression algorithms, how you implement encryption, that sort of thing?
AES-CCM is just *awful*, isn't it? Not being able to verify the checksum without decrypting the whole block is great if you're only doing 16-byte blocks at a time, but when you've got a 256MByte block?!?!?
AES is an encryption standard; GCM and CCM are specific implementations for using it. Both specify a checksum for the data, to see if there's been a bit error. With GCM, you encrypt your data, and use the output for the checksum; with CCM, you compute your checksum as you encrypt.
When you receive the encrypted data, you want to see if it's been corrupted. With GCM, you simply checksum the encrypted data. With CCM, you have to decrypt it first, and compute the checksum (either while doing that, or after). If all you're doing is verifying the checksum...
which is the sort of thing you want to do when reading from storage or writing to it... CCM means you have to decrypt it. Decryption, even with hardware assist, is slow. And you have to make sure you don't leave the unencrypted data around in memory for something to surreptitiously grab.
I disagree, there are plenty of rational, reasonable, intelligent people in America. It's just that they keep getting suppressed and defunded by the ruling fascist regime and its bourgeois puppet masters.
I got this when I announced that the drug treatment for my cat's diabetes was working and he was showing no signs of diabetes (brand name is Senvelgo, if anyone's interested - discuss with your vet). Like, a) you think I don't know this already and b) you know nothing of my situation. Infuriating.
Great news on your cat's treatment. Had a diabetic cat for 5 years, two injections daily. He passed away just a few days before his 17th birthday, not diabetes related. Had him since he was approx 2 weeks old (found in a taped up box), my soul buddy. Hope you have many years with your kitty.
I never thought they'd have diabetes. Kind of take it for granted that predators would have that kind of problem. (I've never seen a cat take sugar in his coffee 😜)
You're right, I should've asked, what makes you consider it a "hellsite"? I have found it to be a great platform and appreciate it immensely. Also, it's not a requirement for existence to be here....membership is optional, so if it is so bad, and such a "hellsite" as you proclaim....
I am gonna guess by the quotes that this is not a slang term you’ve run across before? Forgive my quoting of the dictionary, which I know is a faux pas, but in this case maybe it’ll help. This is not a phrase I coined.
I understand it's not originally your word. But you used it to describe this platform...that is what I am inquiring about. So maybe tone down the condescension and answer the actual question. 😀
You have under four hundred followers. She has over 51,000 followers. The experience someone has on this site (much like Twitter) is very different once you get more followers because more people think of the same dumb joke or obvious suggestion and they never read the replies before making it.
*rubs forehead* Okay, but hellsite is one of those terms that is usually not actually in dead earnest? The most common usage is something like “Oh my god, I just saw X slap down Y so hard their grandma felt it, I am never leaving this hellsite.”
Even this moose's Imposter Syndrome had Impostor Syndrome[1] by the time he retired, but I'm gradually getting over it (I think). 3:O(>
[1] Not to mention burnout[2].
[2] Network/Tech support is not for everybody - you need a reasonable team of knowledgable people, not the nearest warm body. 3:O((>
So let’s not forget the *average* reading comprehension level of Americans is 6th grade. Bluesky has relatively small numbers compared to the population as a whole. There is a good chance we’re all the smartest person in the room at any given point.
I am the only competent person in the room (not a metaphorical one, but the literal room I'm in now).
Right now, that's because I'm the only person in the room, but also because I'm having a good day, so my neuroses are allowing me to consider myself competent.
At this moment, I am easily the most competent person in the room. When my wife gets home that will change. When I let the dog in from his time sunning in the back yard it will be at least worth questioning.
Yeah the vibes on this website are particularly pedantic and filled with unsollicited advice, and with smarmy but not actually novel or sharp political takes, way more than i personally experienced on twitter
One of the best parts of getting old has been the realization that I am much less smart and competent than I was led to believe when I was younger and accepting that fact has reduced my stress level so much. I think everyone should embrace their stupidity
Couple of weeks ago I read a thoughtful thread 🧵 around ‘you don’t need to have an opinion on everything’ and it’s good self-help, especially as this place is getting as hysterical and angry as the other place about ‘everything’ 🎯
I've come across the same advice and I try to pause before I start talking about anything and ask myself if I really know enough to have an opinion and be ready to say "I don't really know enough to talk about that". Glad to see it's an idea that's proliferating 😄
Another, more controversial, variant (not from the same article) is ‘you don’t have to care about every issue’.
I will happily admit that I employ this widely for my sanity and have muted certain words which would probably enrage some here, but it works for me 😑🤷♂️
Smart people don't usually like to be identified. People will often look to them for help - and smart people know they're fallible and they also know People.
Embracing stupidity is how we got *gestures wildly* here-ish.
Can we settle for being less confident in our brilliance?
Agreed, except for the “stupidity” part. Rather, you get old enough to realize that intelligence doesn’t necessarily make you competent at everything. Or anything, really. There’s nothing wrong with that.
I was amused by Mark Twain's account of how impressed he was by the amount of wisdom his erstwhile clod of a father had adsorbed during the two years his son had been away learning to be a river pilot.
There was a moment, when I was interacting with folks (all of us were in a very new situation for us) and I swear, I got *pinged* like radar, as everyone present decided I was the Voice of Experience?! Freaked me the hell out, though I did my best to not steer anyone wrong. Still, like, never again.
Oh my head! This is like declaring English as your major. Suddenly people want you to read over their essays for grammar...but, DUDE, I haven't had grammar since 8th grade either!
Oh my God, yes! There was one guy I went to school with, we both wound up working for the same university. He would pop up from time to time, asking me to copyedit is articles before he sent them off to be published. Usually with an extremely short turn-around time.
You're asking me, "what's it leading to?
Will we live a long life, will it treat us fair?"
No point asking me because I haven't got a clue
You're asking me, "will it be alright?"
If you're asking me don't take my advice
And don't make me responsible
For you living your life
—Ray Davies
Had someone recently tell me she knew I would have the right answer to her question, and had to tell her that while it was possible, in the long term assuming I'm right is a *very* bad idea.
Why, this is a hellsite, nor am I out of it.
Think'st thou that I, who saw the face of Usenet
And tasted the eternal joys of net.motss,
Am not tormented with ten thousand hells
In being deprived of everlasting bliss?
“Hellsite” is usually any location where more than two people are hanging out, and one of them needs to feel like the smartest person in the room all the time.
I’m not gonna claim it’s a fact. Just a personal opinion based on anecdotal data. Lots of anecdotal data.
The "thread" I received begins with "I swear to Christ, the biggest problem on this hellsite is the fact that so many people are convinced that they are the only competent person in the room."
...remembers thr other rule of hellsites where any attempt at expertise inevitably invokes the humble real expert who suddenly eviscerates you publicly before you can react by shrinking into a corncob...
The absolute classic example of that was the anti-mask troll who crossed swords with a real anesthesiologist, and discovered he was holding a toothpick rather than a sword.
I think it got re-posted recently, still makes me ROFL. 3:O)>
Some of us grew up fixing stuff or sucking it up. However when we get our nose smacked we learn. I always ask now do you want to vent or do you want advice. Either 1 is fine.
The problem with the "leftside" people on websites like this one is that so many genuinely believe they are just better. Better scientifically, moralistically, intrinsically. Even though, most of us still follow herd mentality, still blindly trust the OUR side, still simplify science to match biases
And so many have convinced themselves that they are so much more empathetic than others, even though they also generalise huge groups of people based on their own biases.
I've always felt like that feeling of being "better" is because of validation from conventionally intelligent people. For example, we are pro-vaccine, and so are Doctors. We believe in climate change, and so do scientists.
But yeah, we can't get too carried away, because they're not always right.
Yeah. It's certainly better to believe the people who are experts in those subjects. But we can't treat it as dogma. Dogma is for believers, not for thinkers.
If there is counter evidence for some established "fact", we should first hear it out. Most of the time, it's nothing, but sometimes...
Eh, I agree, it's so hard having to listen to people who are clearly destroyed from the inside out by the propaganda...
That's why we should strive to not be like them, to not lean into our biases too much.
was told in my 20s that everyone i will ever meet is smarter than me at 2 or more things than i am, and will ever be. the person who told me that said her father told her that.
the person who told me that was Samuel Delany's daughter.
It's not that I disagree but I think society in general has become like that. As a disabled person I can't tell you how fun it is how many people know more about my disability and treatments than I do.
Makes me feel stupid and condescended to and frankly that just makes it all 1000x worse.
One of the cool things about being a librarian, if you let yourself think it's cool, anyway, is realizing just how much you don't know & how impossible it is to learn even a fraction of it all. Dude, I can find you a book about whatever, but I don't KNOW anything about 📚
Agreed! And the corollary of learning there are so many people who are learning amazing things! One person cannot learn a fraction of what there is to know, but it is amazing and beautiful to think of what we know, cumulatively, because of individuals and groups with those “fractions” of knowledge
It's wild! And thinking about all the people and learning that came before and help us learn even more!
Was watching Cold Case and Kid #2 asked how DNA can help solve crimes. So we read together about the discoveries of and about DNA since 1869. Fascinating! (For both of us!)
Comments
Until my wife comes thru the door...
I'll show my self out 👉🚪
I expected it to be a German thing we'd have to import.
But 140 characters leave little room for qualifying language, so it's hard to avoid sounding certain even if you're not.
Or maybe most people are indeed a lot more confident than I ever am.
3:O)>
Just a chance to catch my breath.
Let me be sad, even for a little while
'cause it's all that I have left.
When all I see are the memories,
I don't want to lose a thing.
Let me be sad, let me be sad . . ."
Extreme warm thoughts about the site forever
“Next time, you should do Super Obvious Thing.”
My friends, I will let you in on a secret of the universe. If instead you say “Oh no, had you done Super Obvious Thing?” people get less pissed. The key there is ASKING not DECLARING.
Oh no wait maybe it's just that I'm completely steeped in neurodivergent special interest culture. 🤦♀️🤣🤣🤣
I asked if anyone on Craigslist could do this repair.
Some guy shows up & takes a look & >>
You want to uninstall my counter. My corian counter. Made of several layers & glued & screwed in place. And take it to your shop.
Him: [looking a little less confident] Yeah...
>>
Sigh.
If it helps, the "rolling replies" are proving fine block fodder, for those of us who like handy helps at curating their feed here.
Strength to you.
If you wish to glumly agree with this thread, turn to page 27
If you wish to try to score rhetorical points because you are secretly insecure that I’m talking about you, turn to page 134
If you are in denial about your insecurity that I am talking about you, turn to page 134
I know, right?
(don't forget to stretch before getting started)
Also, everything is the fault of wizards who are very powerful and completely out of touch and...
Good lord and little fishies... Did you mix up your deodorant with Smug Bastard Pheromones? Wow. Just...
I wonder how many of them have opinions on Linux, you know?
So unless netiquette exams (requiring a pass) are needed before you post, there will always be people who don't know better.
They appreciate being told (truthfully or not) that you think them clever enough to have thought of Super Obvious Thing
1) you didn't even ask what make of machine it was
2) if I could turn the bloody things off I'd have already done it and wouldn't be posting about it.
Even in a professional scenario where I have over 10 years' experience. Friend, are you implying that I'm incompetent?
Though sarcasm-deficient cultures are an exception: When I joked about "eating children", Norwegian friends were horrified & told me "not to eat children"!
And FFS I am not going to build my own PC, stop suggesting it when I ask for gaming laptop recs.
Are those female authors published this century?
Ooh! Sanderson?
Halfway through roasting, cook oil, spices diced onion, garlic in a pan for 5 minutes, add a can of tomato passata or chopped tomatoes and a can of drained chickpeas, Tabasco to taste.
Spice mix: 2tbsp cumin, 2tbsp coriander, 1tbsp turmeric, 1-2tsp chilli powder depending on taste.
Works with most veggies, I just throw in whatever we've got
https://www.easycheesyvegetarian.com/white-beans-goats-cheese/
Super helpful.
Some is for right away (yum)
And some can go into things or it's also great just on its own
Or as a side with takeout, so there's another veggie
And even more on the re-heat, if you want
Then microwave and eat as is
Or heat up then add more veggies to change it out
(For me, that meal is soup or dhal, but YMMV)
I have just discovered Aldi broccoli bake to add a vegetable to other food, on days I just can't.
"not the question I asked"
or the audience's poor listening comprehension that crushes my hopes of a positive resolution.
(They did not actually suggest that, but the suggestions were as off base as that.)
Apparently Thursday and other Screamo was what I was after.
Take it for what they mean and how they mean it. Not how you feel it.
I mean, I absolutely believe you, I’m just doubting reality.
i am always annoying people and not having it explained to me how it was i annoyed them
Was there a question mark in the post? If not, the person might have the situation handled!
and
Are there already more than 10 other replies? If the person seems upset or frustrated, they could feel overwhelmed too!
It wasn't super fun, but really helped.
So I'm not perfect at it, but I try to sympathise first, and IF they seem like they want suggestions (sometimes I *ask* about that!) then I say, "I know you might've thought of this already..." or "Have you considered..."
Reject fascism!
Revolution is now!
🌊🇺🇸🇺🇦🌈🟧🌍💙
Maybe Dunning-Krueger is running rampant
On Blsky, I know I'm not even in the running.
But I am!
Say, would you like to talk about computer storage programming? The costs and benefits of various compression algorithms, how you implement encryption, that sort of thing?
I never thought they'd have diabetes. Kind of take it for granted that predators would have that kind of problem. (I've never seen a cat take sugar in his coffee 😜)
I'm glad your cat's feeling better.
Not acting it is something to be proud of, I just live in an intellectual cesspit and I'm not even sure how I became the exception.
https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/hellsite
[1] Not to mention burnout[2].
[2] Network/Tech support is not for everybody - you need a reasonable team of knowledgable people, not the nearest warm body. 3:O((>
https://www.fiftyfifty.one/
Right now, that's because I'm the only person in the room, but also because I'm having a good day, so my neuroses are allowing me to consider myself competent.
That will most likely change when I am no longer alone in this room, but for now…
and yeah he's usually melanin deficient like us lol
I am still blown away that I have a super computer in my pocket and use it for such dumb things regularly when I could be learning more.
I will happily admit that I employ this widely for my sanity and have muted certain words which would probably enrage some here, but it works for me 😑🤷♂️
Embracing stupidity is how we got *gestures wildly* here-ish.
Can we settle for being less confident in our brilliance?
no! I am stupid! do not listen to me, except in a “this guy is entertaining on the internet” sense
Will we live a long life, will it treat us fair?"
No point asking me because I haven't got a clue
You're asking me, "will it be alright?"
If you're asking me don't take my advice
And don't make me responsible
For you living your life
—Ray Davies
It's not you.
Think'st thou that I, who saw the face of Usenet
And tasted the eternal joys of net.motss,
Am not tormented with ten thousand hells
In being deprived of everlasting bliss?
I’m not gonna claim it’s a fact. Just a personal opinion based on anecdotal data. Lots of anecdotal data.
--Ancient GenX Proverb
...remembers thr other rule of hellsites where any attempt at expertise inevitably invokes the humble real expert who suddenly eviscerates you publicly before you can react by shrinking into a corncob...
...makes sure I'm not posting about menswear...
I think it got re-posted recently, still makes me ROFL. 3:O)>
https://bsky.app/profile/rubymughal.bsky.social/post/3le63xymrz22m
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVr15gWYUek
But yeah, we can't get too carried away, because they're not always right.
If there is counter evidence for some established "fact", we should first hear it out. Most of the time, it's nothing, but sometimes...
Like, there's no way I'm going to have a productive conversation with someone who believes Trump won in 2020.
But if they have an opinion on a policy they want to defend, I'll listen.
That's why we should strive to not be like them, to not lean into our biases too much.
the person who told me that was Samuel Delany's daughter.
Can you give me a couple of concrete examples?
Makes me feel stupid and condescended to and frankly that just makes it all 1000x worse.
I'm a little slow.
It takes me four hours just to say "can I buy you a drink" and another four to scrape up the change under the couch to afford it.
It's not about being right or wrong, it's about communicating, learning, and understanding ourselves and others.
Was watching Cold Case and Kid #2 asked how DNA can help solve crimes. So we read together about the discoveries of and about DNA since 1869. Fascinating! (For both of us!)