The title underlines the absurdity of how pointless press is these days
Yeah it /could/ take 36 minutes off your life, if it's garnished with cyanide and if you were gonna be executed in 45 minutes; bing bang badaboom, true statement, excellent journalism.
Something like "Statistical evidence once again connects low-quality food with measurably shortening lifespan" would be the real headline but that's stating the obvious
This is a misread of the statistics. Glizzy Georg, who chokes to death on a hotdog every sunset and is then resurrected at dawn as part of an ongoing punishment handed down by the gods, is an outlier and should not have been counted!
Laurent something ladidadi cnn: EATSHIT AND DIE, get the flying fuck off my hotdog's,and lick the chocolate starfish, you freakishly evil letter wobbler!
“average hot dog takes 36 minutes off your life" factoid actualy just statistical error. average hot dog takes 0 minutes from your life. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
Researcher at Northwest University Medical School discovered this decades ago and devised a hot dog recipe to counter the life shortening affect. While it isn't clear if a Chicago Hot Dog will lengthen your life it will make the loss of 36 minutes worth it.
these bullshit articles have no shame. they are so much like the modern republican party you would think trump himself said this crap. only morons would look at this and think it is a fact rather than consider there is no way to know something like this when health, diet and genetics are subjective
Scientists say eating toast can make testicles pop like Chinese capacitors. Women drawn to beribboned ankles, studies say. One expert says Fedoras make the ladies go wild.
I could go on, but I think it's obvious: Those scientists and experts need to stop drinking.
Jesus Christ! How is this possible? Who even knows how to measure such things? Cigarettes only take SEVEN minutes off your life! Quit eating hot dogs and take up smoking. You'll live longer.
I don't say, we should get morbidly obese and eat eight hotdogs a day, but why should we stop enjoying comfort food / comforting things to live (insert here) longer.
If I have to suffer through capitalism, with high rent, low pay and maybe no pension: Hotdogs it is!
Oh god, I had two Portillo's hot dogs today...that means I lost one hour & twelve minutes today alone! Prolly more cuz one of them was a chilli cheese dog with onions. I'm doomed! 💀
When I used to smoke, I was told it would take 20 minutes off of my life for each cigarette. I was also told walking up a flight of stairs adds 20. So I would just cancel out the smoking with the stairs. Given the way things are going, I kinda wish I never did the stairs part.
I used to say I'd start up again at 90 if I made it that far but I don't really desire to anymore. I never experienced the benefits of quitting though, like more energy. If I'm destined to never have energy, at least I have weed gummies to soothe me, just like my grandpa had his Werther's Originals.
And petting a dog adds time to your life. So…eat your hot dog while you pet a dog and the negative effects of the hot dog are negated and the word-play is simply divine.
Comments
During a checkup, guy asks his doctor "If I give up drinking, eating meat and having sex, will I live longer?"
Doctor says "No, but it'll sure feel longer." 😅
I'm ok with that.
Yeah it /could/ take 36 minutes off your life, if it's garnished with cyanide and if you were gonna be executed in 45 minutes; bing bang badaboom, true statement, excellent journalism.
Saved my life.
If you spend 40 minutes eating the hotdog is that a net gain of 4 minutes?
Gimme the hot dogs!
Mmmmmmmmmm
every baseball game I ever went to shortened my potential life.
it's how I live mother fucker
... or I'm already dead.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I could go on, but I think it's obvious: Those scientists and experts need to stop drinking.
@jamieloftus.bsky.social
What do I need to live till 85, if I have to work 9to5 will I'm 80, to pay my rent or get pension?
I'd rather die 10 years earlier than that, but had some good fricking Hotdogs!
@phat7deuce.bsky.social thanks for sharing!
All we're doing is taking off the adult diaper wearing years.
I don't say, we should get morbidly obese and eat eight hotdogs a day, but why should we stop enjoying comfort food / comforting things to live (insert here) longer.
If I have to suffer through capitalism, with high rent, low pay and maybe no pension: Hotdogs it is!
76 y/o here and I want to hurry up The End after Nov. 2024
Trying hard not to walk stairs.
No ragrets.
What drivel.