National parks in the US are always crawling with enthusiastic Germans who fundamentally do not understand that nature can kill you
Reposted from
Sam
I did a national parks tour last summer and most of the folks on the trip were from outside the US! Two of the Germans got engaged at the bottom of the Grand Canyon!
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I was thinking of a couple waterfalls in Yosemite where the top of it is very shallow and flat, and the cliff's edge naturally has a fantastic view clear of trees and brush. Kills tourists looking for a good photo every year.
also no crocs or gators
Or meet a drunk football fan in the woods; which I assume is the most dangerous fauna I some places D:
Italy isn't comparable to the US in the extremes at all, but even then it's mostly mountains and ocean. The attitude difference of Italians and Germans...
Tourons of Yellowstone, German edition.
AND an analog compass.
Been in places with no signal too many times, and battery life is an issue as well.
Once.
Learned it in one.
The HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD OF HYPOTHERMIA Syndrome.
And Asian tourists who think all wildlife are tame, want to be fed, and will delight in being pet.
We had a van, I could've scooped them in the side door so easily.
Mr L was camping with a group of youth at Kootenay Plains when a black bear came wandering past camp. They had mitigated bear-food interactions so the bear went to the open car of the visitors from Hong Kong and climbed in, eating their food. 🤷🏻♀️
👀
But who are you going to call deep in a national park??
Well, first of all, don't go hiking in rattlesnake country in tiny shorts and jogging shoes.
The higher bowpeak will reduce the water shipped if one decides to "plow on" when the sea gets high.
But if you take a cresting wave side on, you're probably flipped.
Worse than that and even they would stay ashore. The Norwegian shore is just so good for boating, any dock is in a fjord or behind barrier Islands, you can never judge conditions at sea from dockside. Then you round the barrier island and bam.
I've started telling folks to put the scaled map of Europe over North America, and remember that trains are not going to be useful in every area. 🤨
Also met Brits who had a Greyhound pass (this was 20 years ago) and 2 weeks to see LA, NY and TX. They just don't get the distances.
I had an assistant editor from NYC send me a box of books that vanished. I asked him "to where?" My street, & he put Houston. (I lived in Hurst.)
He asked if it was close. "Eight hours or so depending on traffic & speed."
Even to Americans, distance can be another world.
And my brain was going "you want to drive to another _state_? For _lunch_???"
A long lunch, but still!
(we get them here too)
https://parks.wa.gov/about/news-center/field-guide-blog/file-name-solo-hiking-message-desk-taylor-swift
TOO MANY MAYO HANDS IN TIK TOK VIDEOS REACHING OUT TO TOUCH DEADLY THINGS.
It’s like they took the Noble Savage trope as the starting point and just went bonkers with it
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winnetou
(My degree concentration was in American West environment and culture and oh boy Western tourism…)
We still die by falling from mountains and drowning though
fuckers will absolutely give themselves a heat stroke if not bbied into reasonable behavior
Otherwise? Otherwise there’s a word for that, etc
Though rarely with the absolute insouciance of the Germans.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_Valley_Germans
https://youtu.be/AjEOYOZpGPo?si=arjdhduRJTG1MNgx
"just gonna off-road through death valley it a minivan and then when it breaks down we'll hike to nothing until we all die"
just... they had no idea
To be fair, though, heat and cold can kill you just mind-bogglingly quickly
In skiing, there's all sorts of liability and ropes and closed areas; in France you are on your own off-piste and if someone comes to rescue you. You're paying for it.
i know i know wwii etc etc but there are also zero untouched places. it’s disney-like and feels very wrong.
The thermal pools are DEADLY. STAY ON THE PATH!
(I currently have a German friend walk a part of the appalachian trail (alone))
Have you heard of Reynisfjara?
https://www.visiticeland.com/article/reynisfjara-black-sand-beach-is-dangerous
I don’t mind loud conversations so much but I could do without being run down by cyclists, or all the people during 2021 who seemed to think that being on holiday meant they didn’t need to social distance
I opted out of the Angel’s Landing hike because I didn’t want to navigate crazy mobs + dangerously narrow one-way ridge
There might be trails you have to skip, but it’s great otherwise
You're hiking with me in Canada and we see a park bench I'm throwing my arm across your chest like moms did before seatbelts.
(Lorenzo doesn't count, it had weakened considerably by the time it was that far north.)
europe is mostly flooding, wildfires, and in some areas volcanoes
the only disaster prevention thing that europe has but the us lacks is lightning rods
US and Canada have more. UK has lots for Europe.
I assumed 👵🏻👵🏻 but it was 🧕🏽🧕🏽 20-somethings
traffic stupidity 😭
/by which i mean 'research the shit out of where you're going way before you do'
To this day we call hiking "going for ein strohl in ze park"
(and probably sweat??? a LOT????!)
They had delicious looking biscuits and gravy. A German woman asked me, horrified, what it was.
I explained. And put some on my plate.
She backed away like I was eating insects or something.
my sons actually brought their Lederhosen on our US trip 😏
….
“Yes, people die there of heat all the time.”
“Only when it’s hot?”
“Like, 7 months of the year, yeah?”
it’s not the climate, it’s bc their culture is arrogant and stupid.
their culture is just as capable of being wasteful and hypocritical — and it is
Weird to me they didn’t think the walk up a pretty mountain path wasn’t itself worth it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_Valley_Germans