i dont know why you would not put the pole & the tvs on the same side... like i'm gonna keep turning my head to swap between the Game and a pole dancer? cmon!
there's no fridge. I even checked the appliances on the listing in case it was hidden in the floor or the ceiling. But no. I don't even see a spot for it so I guess you just plug one in next to the hot tub.
"And this is my man pad, where I will have a hot tub in my living room, and also be able to park my Lambo next to it, for when all the models with huge boobies visit."
Wait, no, there aren't enough color-cycling LED lighting strips for that.
This is what actually kills me as a person in this business…all of that shit is builder grade at best. You can get all of this at the Home Depot. I mean the overall project wasn’t cheap, but the finishes are.
Well, I looked, and my first thought was, “wow, are they expecting typhoons and tropical humidity in CO, now?”
That aside, w/ the subdividing plans, it looks like this is intended as a chicken ranch, iykyk.
I realise this is pretty mundane compared to everyone else's (correct) reactions, but I'm just imagining the slip and fall hazards of getting out of the hot tub.
The first thing I thought was “who the hell is paying 1.6M for a two bedroom in fucking Grand Junction?” And then I saw the sale price history and knew i was in for a huge treat when I looked at the interior photos.
Indeed! And as someone with a ton of hobbies, I actually like the garage with those crazy lights. Don't need the basketball hoop though, that's just dumb.
A modest house with a giant Tony Stark workshop is not something I would say no to living in. I draw my line at the stripper pole and the hot tub in the kitchen personally. And yes, I'm weird.
but it looks so much like a 3D render, and that chandelier has such a shitty drop-shadow photoshop job - but it's also got a reflection which would be really hard to photoshop if it was fake? I'm going insane
I had to go to Google Earth to confirm that there is actually a building there. No idea if that's what it actually looks like on the inside but there is a building.
I'm sorry but what. How is that kitchen cozy! The nonchalant way the stripper pole is mentioned also great. The plan to subdivide into townhomes? This listing has everything.
Also I can't tell what that is behind the hot tub, I think it's the cover and they just extended the inset so that you could store it right next to it? But do you need the cover when the hot tub is indoors??
Energy savings and to keep the humidity down in the house. Even with, this place is going to be coated with a thin sheen of water every time the temperature drops a bit. Think "marble slip and slide".
I guess maybe for dust accumulation??? either way, an abomination. I hazard a guess there are going to be a lot of drunk people in this house (at least at some points in time) and hot tub below floor level + drunk... Boy I dunno
Yep, layout not great on a base level. Roughly the same amount of work surface as was in the kitchen in the ~500sqft apartment I used to be in. And that's before we get to needing one of those captive rolling ladders for the upper cabinets.
Look if that basketball court wasn't designed in a way that you will definitely destroy the ceiling lighting if you actually tried to use it, there would be something redeeming here.
There are a couple shots of them intermingled with the rest. it's easy to overlook them because they have the exact same floors and walls as the rest. Love to get up on a cold winter morning and immediately stumble onto a hard synthetic marble tile floor.
I'd be afraid to even do a walk through with the Realtor. This house looks like one of those Liminal Spaces where you walk in, and can't get out again. You just aimlessly wander from the jacuzzi/stripper pole room to the chandelier room through the endless b&w corridors till you see the Creature...
You can alley oop groceries off the backboard and into the 10-foot-high kitchen cabinets. Bonus points if you slingshot around the stripper pole on the way.
Kitchen that big you could put in multiple fridges. Stripper pole might be weird, but the indoor spa pool set awkwardly into the kitchen floor with a folding mattress sticking vertically out one side is downright bizarre.
We buy or rent our buildings without the appliances here (other than the occasional oven/stove, as those need to be installed professionally). Evidently your country is different.
I don't want to use someone elses scungy 2nd-hand fridge when I can afford to buy a house. Seems a strange economy.
Just discussed this with a friend. Both been renting since 1999, rural and in 3 different capital cities. I have moved a lot, as the typical Aussie lease is 6 months. Other than completely furnished buildings I cannot afford, I have never seen a building rented with a fridge included.
I am in my rented house right now, in the kitchen, with my own fridge, freezer, washing machine, and kettle in view. My piano, couch & TV through in the livingroom.
Had to do a deep clean on the stove/oven when I came in, but a fridge? ick. At least I know what has been put in mine over the years.
A highass ceiling for a...stupidly huge living room with a bath right in the center? Which is also where the kitchen is? And there's some sort of stripper pole too? I mean if its not a load-bearing thing? They really rizz this house up but still include the outside looking like a wasteland.
The kitchen having about as much counter space as my previous apartment, while having a giant empty space, followed by a stripper pole, a hot tub, and 7 big TVs is hilarious.
Also, I know this is kind of beside the point, but what kind of heat pump does this place have. Those high ceilings and enormous open volumes make it hard to heat.
just imagining my bare feet hitting the tile at 5am in the winter. And there's no relief, just miles and miles of ice cold tile between you and your kitchen jacuzzi.
Don't know specifically, but geothermal heat pumps supposedly work well in cold temperatures, and there are also above ground ones designed for super low temps.
Do you think that means heated floors? Because that's what I would want in that space (and might actually partially salvage this place for me (lol just kidding)).
Really love the attention to detail, like how the hot tub in the kitchen/living room has a gap so you can break your leg as you watch 9 football games at once and try to get in.
The "house" is really a community center for the 11 or so single tech bros who are going to be living on property. This is just hiding high-occupancy housing as a single family home.
Blimey, you’ve made it even more sinister calling it a “hit tub”. That’s how you end up in the concrete coffin for life, presumably: bumped off in the hit tub.
Has to be a complete new-build--the street maps view shows empty ground next to the old place (which somehow was not demolished in time for the aerial view?!).
Is this, like, a house that doesn't exist to be *lived in*? It feels like something that's rented out to adult film studios just so that they have somewhere vaguely-fancy for a drugged-up performer to do a cuckoldry scene.
Honestly, it’s frustrating to so clearly see this much money spent for their vision of an ideal “entertainment” set up let down by the fact no one involved has ever danced or had a conversation with someone who does.
Would a platform in nearly any other material have broken the budget?
Oh the landscaping is just mahvelous!!! Ridiculous. On the market for 83 days? It’ll be at least 365 or more before it’s foreclosed on. 9 grand a month. LMAO!!!
The realtor really commits to it, which makes it even better. "The high ceilings add to the open and airy ambiance, while the living room takes center stage with a stripper pole for entertainment and a 10-person hot tub, perfect for relaxing or hosting unforgettable gatherings."
Divorced contractor builds dream home with grand vision for rental townhomes on property to support his habits. Dreams are crushed when he learns you cannot permit for a swingers-only community and he’s forced to sell.
Maybe you can just set the jacuzzi on high spray and the whole interior becomes a car wash. There are an abnormal amount of high power jets there. Maybe industrial scrubbers come down from the ceiling.
If Dracula were a 21st century villain, he would LOVE this house, because splashes of red would show up beautifully against those cold backgrounds. There's also plenty of space for multiple haute couture coffins filled with organic soil imported from Transylvania.
The bougie interior where all the furniture is way too small for the space, combined with the BARREN yard and plain rectangle exterior really did it for me 🤣
I have to believe this was built for the sole purpose of hosting sex parties, or as a dystopian "home" to hide your mistress in. There's no other reason this could exist
My first thought was this is what I made when I created ‘mansions’ in Sims 2. Huge footprint. No walls. Indoor pool. Zero landscaping. Motherlode cheat code. Rinse. Repeat.
Find the post with an aerial map. To the east there's two houses and then a fence partially blocking the view of a mobile home park. The two houses are ~$370k and ~$480K.
Finally! A house that I can keep an eye on the Cybertruck parked in the basketball garage from my kitchen hot tub, while watching 7 TVs as the wife practices on her stripper pole!
Should have paid better attention but I did not realize the in ground hot tub was in the same room as the kitchen on first review. Why close off the garage at all? Just have a full basketball court in your natatoritchen (natatorium/kitchen).
Comments
Wait, no, there aren't enough color-cycling LED lighting strips for that.
https://www.amazon.com/Remote-Hexagon-Lights-Garage-Ceiling/dp/B0BWYB8MF9
That aside, w/ the subdividing plans, it looks like this is intended as a chicken ranch, iykyk.
Maybe it was built for a streamer who went broke?
Photo 2: ok it's a house
Photo 3: oh hum
Photo 4: is that a subway pole?
Photo 5: ahh, NOW I get it
I mean
It's got to be the former home of an American techbro who lost it all in crypto
The honeycomb ceiling
The utter lack of plant life around the house
A bargain
Tax assessed value: $477,590
Overhead lighting (that also reflects off the nice shiny floor) that makes me want to tear my eyeballs out: Priceless
Obviously it would be valued lower if they did.
They're admitting it's overpriced but too big of a PAB to make a real cut that might actually generate interest.
They're going to drop it by 50K 10 more times instead of dropping it by 250k and maybe make progress. Smh
why do some of the photos look like they're rendered in a video game
I don't want to use someone elses scungy 2nd-hand fridge when I can afford to buy a house. Seems a strange economy.
Had to do a deep clean on the stove/oven when I came in, but a fridge? ick. At least I know what has been put in mine over the years.
OWNER: We will watch SportsCenter from the hot tub
VISITOR: Sure! I mean, sometimes we could watch it from the cou---
OWNER: We will ALWAYS watch SportsCenter from the hot tub
And he fucked up a perfectly good man-cave/murder-house with that sunken hot tub. Now no one can bury any bodies under the sub-floor.
(I’m not kidding)
Because even the TVs are themselves an attack on both comfort and function.
https://youtu.be/hFNfgtYkLJQ?si=iSlqFZDmInUDOp9H&t=41
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My inner narrative
Looks sterile and horror-movie
Marble kitchen floor?
Indoor hot tub with stripper pole?
Wait, it’s an open plan kitchen with a hot tub and stripper pole all in one room?! NO
What could possibly go wrong?
I'd expect a house like that outside of Paonia/Hotchkiss on top of a mesa with some sort of view but that is so weird to build it there.
And Grand Junction gets very cold in the winter.
Boy, that’s a big kitchen.
*Sees jacuzzi in kitchen*
Is this a swinger thing?
So that “house” would be an entertainment center for a dozen or so tech bro types living in some kinda misogynistic capitalist commune.🤢
Every woman entering that zip code gonna need to sign an NDA.😳
The garage in the back?
Let me wipe my glasses off
Best of luck.
However, given its boxy design, huge rooms, and giant garage, was it originally intended to be a Firehouse?
im in the hot tub room
im in the combination kitchenette and hot tub room
And have a STRIPPER POLE
And a HOT TUB
Would a platform in nearly any other material have broken the budget?
One questions if they’ve ever used either a hot tub or pole tbh.
I’m confident they’ve never personally cooked, given the choices made in the “kitchen.”
Daily.
Meme stolen by @lukasisaskunk.bsky.social haha